Re: Spinoff to having kids post

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

I just turned 27 and I wish I could have kids young, but I know it is just not the right time. The only thing I would like to have by the time I get pregnant is either a house or enough in the bank for a good down payment.This is what me and DH are working on know.
I don't think anyone is ever ready. I could think of a millions things I would like to do before I have kids, but I know that all those things would take years to accomplish. Too long for me to wait!! If I got pregnant tommorrow I would be fine, and we would do what we had to do.

Message edited 3/26/2007 4:59:50 PM.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

Posted by Ophelia


I'm sorry...I meant to make this part of my whole spiel bigger "I am not directing this at you, Shelly, or insinuating/implying that this isn't the case for YOU

I am sorry you felt you had to defend yourself. I am sure you are very fulfilled.

Message edited 3/26/2007 4:59:35 PM.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

We got married when we were 31, and I will be having our first child this fall and we'll both be 33. We also bought a house this year and both of our careers are going really well.

I don't think there's ever a prefect time though. If I had a choice I would have loved to have a baby in my late twenties but it wasnt in the cards. If it happened then, we wouldnt have been financially ready or owned a home but we would have made it work.

It's hard not to listen what outsiders say, but you really have to wait until your ready and that means different things to everyone.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

Everyone is different. For me I knew I wanted to have at least one kid before I was 30 and own a house/condo/something. We bought a co-op last June and found out in January we were preggo. I'll be 28 a few weeks after my child is born.

Message edited 3/26/2007 5:03:33 PM.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I feel like now is the perfect time to have a child for us. I am going to be 27 this year and I don't want to have to deal with all the problems that come with trying later in life, plus I want to have more than one and would like to space them out a bit. We are finally financially ready, we have a house, and we have been married for 3.5 years.

To me, a main motivator is that everyone around me is aging. I want my children to know their grandparents and great-grandma and I know that they won't be around forever.

Whenever I tell people that we are thinking of starting a family, they all say "you are too young", live your life, enjoy. I think that having a family is living my life, it is taking the opportunity to spread the love that I have for my family to another member.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

its funny, b/c i am the complete opposite of the whole career thing. i realized that i would always have a "job" and not a "career." i was never about climibing the corporate ladder to get ahead.

what gets me is when couples put off kids to do all the traveling they plan on doing. and ask them if they ever traveled before or now? and the answer you'll get is no.

i also got married at almost 31, so i knew that window was closing. but that is me, and i don't expect everyone to do the same.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

I'm getting very overwhelmed reading this post. I'm 26 and DH is 34. We've been married for 2 1/2 years and found out 3 wees ago we were PG. We didn't expect it to happen 'cause we thought we'd need fertility drugs when the time was right. We really feel like it's a blessing. We've travelled a bit, and don't have a house. I'll be honest, I"m a little scared. Sometimes I think we would have been better off getting PG right away when we were married cause now I'm used to going on nice vacations and it just being him and me. But the other side of me is sooo excited to have a baby with him. I think it's going to be scary and overwhelming at any age.

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

Re: Spinoff to having kids post

I am waiting until I finish my doctorate (I will graduate with my doctorate when I am 29). I will be at least 30 when I have a baby. I am so happy to have waited. I will have been married over 3 years, spent time alone living with DH and enjoying our weekend lazy mornings and nights out, and we have planned at least one big vacation a year since we have been married. I know I would not finish my doctorate if I got pregnant. Is it possible? Sure, but I know when I have a child they will be the number one priority in my life, and I will not want to pay sitters or nannies while I plug away at my dissertation. Not because I couldn't...But because I wouldn't want to give up the time with my child on something like the degree.

I think this is why I am so glad I waited--I agree with Shelly--when I have a baby, it will be the priority, and I know I will not care about everything else going on the backburner because spending time with the child is what I will want more than anything. And waiting until I am at a point where I feel that way I think will make me a better mother. I have more degrees than I could ever need, I have an established career, I own a home, I have vacationed extensively with DH and with friends...I will have no regrets. And sure, had I had kids earlier on we could travel with the kids or after the kids are in college, but I wouldn't trade my time traveling or alone with DH for anything.

My ob/gyn did warn me of the increased risk of complications/problems with children born after 35, and that does scare me. I do pray that I will finish before then because I would hate to have a child with a disability and feel the guilt of thinking I could have prevented it by having children earlier in life. If I got to be older I would probably adopt.

Message edited 3/26/2007 6:32:08 PM.