Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

if you're at the grocery store and you have a toddler who starts screaming, how do you handle it? I understand that if you're in the middle of food shopping, you can't just take the kid outside.

I was at S&S last week and this little kid, probably about 3 or 4 was screaming bloody murder!!!! up and down every single aisle. the kid just walked behind his mom tears streaming down his face and what he was saying was barely audible. I guess the mom just gave up trying to calm him and ignored the kid.

how would you have handled this?

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Easy, my DH does our food shopping while I stay home with the kids


IMHO I would never take my kids food shopping. That just equals stress to me

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

yeah, we said that when we have them

NO grocery shopping

but in THIS case, unlike church, i think it's OK to let the kid scream and do nothing

9 times out of 10, the kid wants something, whether it be a toy, cookies, or a box of frosted flakes

if you give in and give it to him/her to shut them up, that sends the message that a tantrum gets me what I want

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Posted by Stacey1403

Easy, my DH does our food shopping while I stay home with the kids


IMHO I would never take my kids food shopping. That just equals stress to me

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Posted by Stacey1403

Easy, my DH does our food shopping while I stay home with the kids


IMHO I would never take my kids food shopping. That just equals stress to me

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

I try to go shopping without DS. Right now if I do have to go with him, I just bring him a toy and his pacifier. Luckily we've never had a meltdown in public yet.

If he did ever act up, I'd take him to a remote part of the store and whisper in his ear what's going to happen to him if he doesn't stop. I think if you nip tantrums when they are young, you won't have kids who act up like that all time.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

In a supermarket, I dont have a problem listening to kids scream. Its not a place (like church/temple/library/etc...) where quiet is expected.

Now Jordana is only a year, but I have seen her tantrums when I deny her something she wants to play with (like the garbage pail or a shoe) and I fear what I am going to have to go through when she is 3 or 4. But its part of being a parent.

Its a tough call for parents- we get chastized for bothering everyone else- but we also get chastized for giving in and raising brats. I still hear that song from Willy Wonka- "Who do you blame when your kid is a brat? Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the child is a lie and a shame You know exactly who’s… to… blame ... the MOTHER AND THE FATHER"

So I guess I will try to calmher down- try to explain what is going on, maybe lie, bring her toys to entertain her- but if nothing works- then I would just go on with my shopping.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

I have not had my baby yet, but....

When I was about 3 I threw a fit in the grocery store & my mom actually abandoned her cart in the middle of the produce section, put me in the car & took me home. About 1/2 way home I said, "OK I am better we can finish shopping" & my mom was like, "No, you are going home & into your room for the exact amount of time you made me waste in the store." I NEVER threw a tantrum in a store ever again.

My mom then went shopping when my father got home.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

So far (knock on wood) we haven't had any huge meltdowns in a store. It probably helps that I bring a cup of cheerios with us so she is somewhat occupied. Plus I tend to ask her what she sees, what color different boxes are, she holds the list for me, etc.

We did have one in a restaurant shortly after ordering and I just packed her up and home we went. It was my fault for stopping by one more store and then we had to wait for a table, so she was hungry and cranky. The person I was with appologized to the waiter and paid for our sodas and gave him what we guessed the tip on the whole meal would have been.

I have already told DH that if we have a meltdown in a store I'm just going to leave the store. It's not fair to the other shoppers, and I'm not going to give in to her demands.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

I always feel for the parents who are in this situation......However, I remember when i was a kid, if I ever tried that, my mother would have kicked me azz once I got in the car! Back in the day, my mom was no joke!

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

As a mother of a tantrum prone toddler, I have to find ways to get things done regardless, because I don't have the option to leave my kids with my husband very often.

When my son tantrums I ignore him. It may not be what you or anyone else wants to hear, and believe me, if I'm in church, at a ceremony of some type, or any other place that commands respect or a semi quiet environment i act accordingly, but to react is giving him what he wants ~ attention ~ which fuels his fire. If I try to appease him he gets 900 times worse.

For the most part, my kids are extremely well behaved in public because it is a rare day when I let them run the show.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

thanks I am not at that stage yet.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Posted by Stacey1403

Easy, my DH does our food shopping while I stay home with the kids


IMHO I would never take my kids food shopping. That just equals stress to me

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

In all honesty, I never had this problem. One time, and one time only, my oldest daughter demanded I give her something NOW that I was buying for her. I put the item on the counter, grabbed her by the hand, walked out of the store, got down on her level, put my face in hers and told her she was NEVER to act that way again. She was about 3. I never had another problem after that. My children were taught from a very early age how to behave in public. I could take them anywhere and never had to leave because of their behaviour. Were they perfect? Of course not. They were children, but, they knew not to cross a certain line. I would never have put up with a screaming, tantrum throwing, down on the floor kicking child. If I said no, they knew I meant it and that was the last word. I never ignored inappropriate behaviour. I would deal with it at that time and they learned what was acceptable and what was not.

Re: Spinoff to kids in Church - a Q for parents

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by Stacey1403

Easy, my DH does our food shopping while I stay home with the kids


IMHO I would never take my kids food shopping. That just equals stress to me

For the most part, same here

The tantrums are usually because they want something & you haven't put it in the cart.

The way I handle it is I lie. I tell them that the candy is only for the employees. When they cry "So I can't have any?" I say "Of course you can. You can get a job here when you get older & you can have all of the candy you want."

Most parents are against lying. I'm not. According to my kids, restaurants are equipped with spanking rooms as well.