Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

I think ultimately it comes down to parenting skills..

if a child is given everything it wants....well it is going to grow up as such...

The people that moved into the grandparents home to get the house....i wouldn't be surprised if this was actually said this would happen to them...

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

I agree with Beth - I dont care if im a millionaire, my kids will be working!

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

Posted by tourist

Posted by Redhead

I think ultimately it comes down to parenting skills..

if a child is given everything it wants....well it is going to grow up as such...

See that's makes complete sense, but I was always given things, yet I never expect them.

And even now my parents give us things & I feel baldy about it, but they do not sustain us. I liek to pay for my own things & prefer to be finacially independant.

We both work full time & live within our means, so I'm not sure how we learned that. I guess more by watching our parents.

In recent years, I have leanred that part of why mom mom lieks to help us out, is b/c she felt my dad's family was mroe of the 18 & your on your own type & when my dad came hoem from the army, he had no checking accoutn & no car so when they first started datign he would give my mom money & she would write the checks for his car payment.

My mom told me all her generosity will stop when my dad retires & they live on a fixed income!

Message edited 6/19/2006 4:36:49 PM.

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

I think there is a balance too, but I also think that I will put a lot of emphasis on what are needs and what are wants. I lived outside of NY for 11 years and I do notice that people are much more materialistic and more concerned about keeping up with their peers here than they are in other places I have lived. DH and I can afford a lot of things that we don't buy, simply because we don't really need them and don't feel the need to get them because everyone else has them.

My parents did not pay for my whole college education, because they were not in a financial position to do so. I might be able to do that for my children, but I am not sure at this point. My dad told us that he would never co-sign a credit card or a loan for us. He felt that if we wanted those things, we should be old enough to get them and pay for them on our own. We were encouraged to move out and support ourselves as soon as we were able. If we were having a tough time financially, I know my parents would have helped if I asked, but because we were taught to be responsible, we only asked in severe circumstances. I can only speak of my own experience, but I am thankful for all of that, because it makes me think about how I spend my money and how hard I have to work to get it. I agree with what some other people have said about getting things too easily can create a poor work ethic or lack of responsibility.

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

Message edited 6/19/2006 4:45:18 PM.

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

We've already decided that we will pay for their college education. They will either earn money from jobs or from a job as teens. If they want a car, whatever amount of money they have saved we will double and give to them towards that purchase. Car insurance gas money, cell phones, etc. will come out of their pay. I want to raise responsible adults, not spoiled brats who expect everything. My cousins had their college paid for, their apartments, car, insurance, cell phone, gas money, and monthly allowance until they were 25. They're both lazy.

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

I have friends that are 24 like me, and they are going from job to job bc they didnt have to work during college or high school and were shocked at what work is actually like.

Re: Spinoff...As parents, where does your responsibility end?

I plan to pay for as much of my future children's college education as I can. If they need help after college I will give it to them. My parents have done everything for me that they possibly can, and I'd like to do the same for my kids. Although I got everything I wanted and only had to work during the summers, I was always money conscious and knew the value of a dollar. I am independent and responsible. I appreciate everything my parents have done for me, and I don't expect anything from them. The only debt I have is from loans for law school tuition. I pay my bills on time and never spend more than I make. I hope to give my kids as much as I can while still teaching them to be responsible and make smart decisions with their money.