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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Super competitive mommies
My DHs cousin has an 8 mos old daughter. Pretty much since the moment she was born her parents have been "competitive" with Jake who is SEVEN months older than her.
It's always..."When did Jake first do that?... Oh 'Susie' did it MUCH earlier" Susie did this before Jake, Susie's already doing that and Jake wasn't at that age.
So she's competing with something Jake did months ago??? I don't get it.
She goes... "Susie's ready to walk." Stands the poor 8 month old up (who by the way, is still pretty much a lump of jello), lets go, and stands there like "Look!" as poor Susie tips over and lands in a heap on the floor.
THEN proceeds to make an EXCUSE for her why she tipped over "Oh, it's because of her dress"... yeah, yeah last time it was her socks that wouldn't let her crawl.
I am SO not like this with Jake. NONE of my other mommy friends are like this. We don't play the "whose baby is smarter/faster learner/better" game. I think it's ridiculous that she's even trying to compare an 8 mos old to a 15 mos old.
I know I'm going to end up saying something to her... and I know myself...it will be pretty sarcastic and maybe worse.
Do I bite my tongue? For how long? She's getting incredibly annoying. Do I tell her she's an azz? (Can I please, can I??)
DH plays along which I refuse to do. He'll say "oh Susie still uses the paci...ALL the time? Jake doesn't." Or something like that. I refuse to play the game.
Are YOU like this? Constantly comparing your child to another?
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Posted 10/21/06 9:43 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Spring Baby06
My two loves
Member since 5/05 3612 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Super competitive mommies
def not to the extreme you are experiencing. I have a friend whose son is 5 days apart from Isabella. So, naturally we compare notes on what they are up to. That being said, we completely understand that our children are individuals and will reach certain milestones at their own pace.
I think I would have to say something, I know she's a cousin, so it's hard to distance yourself as much as possible. Or maybe change the subject when she starts with the comparing. Like ask her how's the weather?
Better yet, just tell her that Jake is reading and writing, novels even...that might shut her up.
Message edited 10/21/2006 9:50:54 AM.
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| Posted 10/21/06 9:49 AM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Nope. I don't compare my children to other children, because I know that every one progresses differently. Plus, comparing a boy to a girl is like comparing an apple to an orange. Usually (based on statistics) girls progress faster verbally, while boys progress faster physically. So, her comparing her daughter to Jake is silly on SO many levels. You probably should say something to her or it will NEVER end. They'll both be in school and she'll be comparing academics and so on...
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| Posted 10/21/06 9:52 AM |
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Bobfan24
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 250 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I'm only a mommy-to-be, but my friend is like this. HORRIBLY competitive with all other children. She labels LITERALLY every kid as "delayed". (I'm so sick of hearing her say that....)
I think FINALLY someone said something to her because now she prefaces all her competitive talk with "I know I am too competitive when it comes to DC and I have to tone it down, BUT...."
And she is like this with EVERYTHING in her life -- her house, her car, her vacations. It makes me not want to be friends with her 
I choose to ignore it. I change the subject. I know it is all about her own MASSIVE insecurities, and I think that deep down she will never be a truly happy person because she never is (and never will be) satisfied with anything she has in her life.
I shudder to think about the day someone else's kid skips a grade, is class valedictorian, or gets into an Ivy League school and her kid doesn't -- I don't think she'll be able to handle it!!!!!
So my advice is to IGNORE and not to play the game (in a way, it actually will drive them even crazier!)
Good luck! 
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| Posted 10/21/06 9:56 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I would just say at the end of everything she says that bothers you...
Well, all kids are different.
After that I would give her the finger, make a nasty dirty tongue sticking out face behind her back and when I got home, make a voodoo doll of her and stick pins into its bum.
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| Posted 10/21/06 9:57 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by racheeeee
I would just say at the end of everything she says that bothers you...
Well, all kids are different.
After that I would give her the finger, make a nasty dirty tongue sticking out face behind her back and when I got home, make a voodoo doll of her and stick pins into its bum.
 My favorite solution so far!!
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| Posted 10/21/06 9:59 AM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I agree i can come across as annoying, but i really dont think she means for it to come across that way-
Is susie her 1st baby?
It could be that she is just wanting to make sure her daughter is pacing right, I wouldnt really put too much into it....is your cousin annoying in other situations as well, if not she probably doent realize what shes doing...I think we all secretly compare our babies with others, not in a competetive way but more like(saying to yourself) umm, my son isnt doing that yet, could there be something wrong???!!!
when you have more than one then you know what the norm is so you dont really have to compare to other babies.
On her bragging about her being able to walk already-i would kinda think that was cute that she thinks her daughter is so advanced....dont we all! haha
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:26 AM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Super competitive mommies
btw my DH would do the same thing as yours...he'd get right in there and try to be more obnoxious than she is!
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:30 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by oopsididitagain
I agree i can come across as annoying, but i really dont think she means for it to come across that way-
Is susie her 1st baby?
It could be that she is just wanting to make sure her daughter is pacing right, I wouldnt really put too much into it....is your cousin annoying in other situations as well, if not she probably doent realize what shes doing...I think we all secretly compare our babies with others, not in a competetive way but more like(saying to yourself) umm, my son isnt doing that yet, could there be something wrong???!!!
when you have more than one then you know what the norm is so you dont really have to compare to other babies.
On her bragging about her being able to walk already-i would kinda think that was cute that she thinks her daughter is so advanced....dont we all! haha
Yeah she does.
When she says "How tall is Jake?" and DH replies "32 inches" and she says "No way, that's impossible. Can't be. Susie's 26 inches already at 8 months and no way is Jake that much taller than her. She's in the 75th percentile for height. " ....that doesn't sound competitive to you? This was the conversation verbatim.
It is her first baby. Jake is also our first baby and we don't act like that.
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:36 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by oopsididitagain
btw my DH would do the same thing as yours...he'd get right in there and try to be more obnoxious than she is!
Men!
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:37 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I know me, and I would have to say something. I would actually do it sooner rather than later. If you wait until she pizzes you off then you're going to come off nasty (I know I would.) You should pull her aside one day, or even call her, and let her know that your children are different people and are going to do different things at different rates. Tell her you think it's unfair to compare them, and you don't want the kids to grow up feeling that they have to out do each other. Just try to present it like you want the kids to be close and help each other learn, not compete with each other.
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:39 AM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Super competitive mommies
ok so she IS annoying! ha!
I would say something equally obnoxious like "well susie is JUST AMAZING!!!!" or...when she asks you something abt your son,cut her off"LEt me guess-SUSIE IS TALLER, right?!!!"
or if youre close with your cousin and shes just being annoying in this 1 situation i would say something to make her get the point like " c'mon really who CARES what susie is!!!!!!"" now SHUT the F**** up already about susie!!!!" and laugh while your sayin it!!!!
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:42 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I'd be so annoyed if I were you If it was me, I'd make up ridiculous answers to her questions. For example...
Her: When did Jake take his first steps.
You: 4.5 months! Isn't that amazing?
Her:When did Jake say his first word?
You: About three days after we came home from the hospital. Isn't that amazing?
Then maybe she'll get the hint that you're not going to play her little game.
So annoying.
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:44 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by oopsididitagain
ok so she IS annoying! ha!
I would say something equally obnoxious like "well susie is JUST AMAZING!!!!" or...when she asks you something abt your son,cut her off"LEt me guess-SUSIE IS TALLER, right?!!!"
or if youre close with your cousin and shes just being annoying in this 1 situation i would say something to make her get the point like " c'mon really who CARES what susie is!!!!!!"" now SHUT the F**** up already about susie!!!!" and laugh while your sayin it!!!!
This is what I want to do so badly...but I know it won't go over as well as I would like.
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:47 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by prncssrachel
I'd be so annoyed if I were you If it was me, I'd make up ridiculous answers to her questions. For example...
Her: When did Jake take his first steps.
You: 4.5 months! Isn't that amazing?
Her:When did Jake say his first word?
You: About three days after we came home from the hospital. Isn't that amazing?
Then maybe she'll get the hint that you're not going to play her little game.
So annoying.
The problem is, apparently, she's been taking notes or something.  She like pop quizzed DH last night... went something like this:
Cousin: "When did Jake cut his first tooth?"
DH: "Ummm...I think 8 mos?"
(Now, mind you I was not there, and DH was wrong, but whatever)
Cousin: "No. No way. You're wrong. I remember it was much later than that. I remember we were at so and so's house and he was xx months old and didn't have any teeth yet. No. Susie cut her first tooth now at 8 mos and I KNOW it was before Jake"
When I tell you it's bad, I mean it's BAD.
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:51 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Well, but that's why you have to make up ridiculous answers! Maybe after a while she'll get the hint.
OR
Simply tell her you feel it's bad for Susie's self-esteem to be constantly compared to Jake
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| Posted 10/21/06 10:53 AM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Message edited 11/20/2006 9:03:42 PM.
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| Posted 10/21/06 11:01 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I would say something like this.
"Wow maybe you should call Guinness" and then walk away.
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| Posted 10/21/06 11:05 AM |
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betty
My boys
Member since 5/05 4380 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by prncssrachel
I'd be so annoyed if I were you If it was me, I'd make up ridiculous answers to her questions. For example...
Her: When did Jake take his first steps.
You: 4.5 months! Isn't that amazing?
Her:When did Jake say his first word?
You: About three days after we came home from the hospital. Isn't that amazing?
Then maybe she'll get the hint that you're not going to play her little game.
So annoying.
I like this one
I find that sooooooooooooo annoying!!!
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| Posted 10/21/06 11:07 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by Stacey1403
I would say something like this.
"Wow maybe you should call Guinness" and then walk away.
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| Posted 10/21/06 11:18 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
you should say....
awwwwww Susie IS a genius...only 8 months old, and already trying to Run away from you......
or, the guilt...
awwww, i guess jake just wasn't in a rush to leave his mommy  but... thats great that susie's already distancing herself 
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| Posted 10/21/06 11:36 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by neeniebean86
you should say....
awwwwww Susie IS a genius...only 8 months old, and already trying to Run away from you......
or, the guilt...
awwww, i guess jake just wasn't in a rush to leave his mommy but... thats great that susie's already distancing herself
omg I LOVE it... I'm coming to you Neenie for all my comeback needs!
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| Posted 10/21/06 11:48 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Super competitive mommies
Posted by neeniebean86
you should say....
awwwwww Susie IS a genius...only 8 months old, and already trying to Run away from you......
or, the guilt...
awwww, i guess jake just wasn't in a rush to leave his mommy but... thats great that susie's already distancing herself
Ahh this is great!
Seriously though can't you just roll your eyes and give her the finger? 
Or try and limit how much you hang with them so you don't have to hear it.
Or tell them Jake is already jumping rope and tying his shoe...can Susie do that
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| Posted 10/21/06 12:27 PM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I dont have anything to add in the way of experience or advice - but I have to say that she's REALLY ANNOYING. I'm frustrated with what she's doing and I'm only reading about it!
good luck with that one.
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| Posted 10/21/06 12:32 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Super competitive mommies
I have a friend who has a little girl 2 months older than my DD. From registering to now developmental milestones she is so competitive........your kid is 2 months older than mine and should be ahead of her  ...........and that super expensive stroller you have isn't so great now is it?? I enjoy having a fun married couple to get together with that have a baby but there is just so much of them I can take.........
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| Posted 10/21/06 2:17 PM |
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