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Talking to your kids about molestors?

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itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9644 total posts

Name:
Me

Talking to your kids about molestors?

I have to admit, maybe I am naive but, this never crossed my mind as DS is only 2.5 and has only been left with close family. The other day I was talking to someone about how he will be starting school soon and when I commented how I taught him to pee pee standing up so the teachers didn't have to put him on the dirty seat she was like - well, did you talk to him about no one touching him etc. etc. Now, since then, I can't get this out of my head. I have NO idea how to approach this and feel like he is probably too young to understand anyway. He is pretty good about giving me the entire play by play of his day so do I just assume he would tell me if anything?

How do you all plan to handle this?

Posted 7/20/10 4:05 PM
 
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!

Member since 5/05

17076 total posts

Name:
Kara®

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

I got a book from the library about saying no --saying no to someone who wants a kiss or a hug, even if you (the toddler) don't want to give them one. Also discussed the private areas being those covered by a bathing suit.

I then took it a step further and discussed with DD (she is 3) who can touch her and how, and what to do if anyone wants to touch her private areas.

Also working on this because she wants to pinch and show my breasts all the time, had to explain that they are mine and haven't belonged to her since she stopped BFing at 5 weeks old!

Posted 7/20/10 4:11 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

I have been talking to mikayla for awhile about this

I have taught her to NEVER

go with someone that mommy and daddy don't know (I read somewhere that you should not say "do not go with a stranger" because a stranger can become a kids friend in a matter of minutes - I tell Miki a stranger is anyone that mommy and daddy do not know)

help someone find their puppy or cat

take anything from strangers

let anyone touch her privates

etc

she seems to get it and I just keep reinforcing it

Posted 7/20/10 4:13 PM
 

ddunne2
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

4189 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

Teach him about his private areas and who can see and touch them. Even my pediatrician tells my kids "I;m going to check your private parts right now but only since Mommy is here with me."

Berenstein Bears has a great book about strangers. 2 might be a little young for it, but start now, so by the time he is 3/4/5 he understands what a stranger is, why we should never talk to them, etc.

Posted 7/20/10 4:28 PM
 

karacg
Babygirl is 4!

Member since 5/05

17076 total posts

Name:
Kara®

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

See, I differ here because I will never tell my DD NOT to talk to strangers. I talk to strangers all the time, so it would be very hypocritical of me.

I will teach her not to GO with strangers, and the like -- but we talk to strangers waiting in line at the grocery store, at Dunkin Donuts, in the park, etc....and we've met some fascinating people and new friends this way!

Posted 7/20/10 4:31 PM
 

twicethefun
Loving life

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

Name:

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

I have taught my children that it is not ok to talk to strangers UNLESS I am standing next to them. Additionally, they are aloud to talk to strangers who are children. We also define strangers. For ex, the nice neighbor who walks his dogs everyday next to our house is still a stranger, the cable guy who came to my house and let my son help "fix" the tv is still a stranger.

I did not say anyone could not touch his privates until he was at least 3. If he had an accident at school the teachers would clean him up.

Posted 7/20/10 10:58 PM
 

twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥

Member since 11/07

10116 total posts

Name:
Gabi

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

Posted by itsbabytime

I have to admit, maybe I am naive but, this never crossed my mind as DS is only 2.5 and has only been left with close family.



I think it is VERY important to teach our children as EARLY as possible information that will keep them safe.

To everyone reading this: please make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that ANYONE who touches your LO in an inappropriate manner needs to be immediately told on, to mommy or daddy. THIS INCLUDES CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS!!!

Posted 7/20/10 11:16 PM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

Oh geez, I've been talking to Ava about it since before she could even understand. Even now, at age 4, she washes herself in the shower (while I obviously supervise) and I make the point to her that no one should ever touch her in her "private areas" (we use technical terms, but also private areas for general discussion). I reinforce that every time she takes a shower and whenever she grabs my boobs, I always tell her they are private and she is not allowed to touch them.
I also teach her that she can talk to strangers when she is with me, but not without me or her dad or whomever she is with and to never, ever go with a stranger.
I also try to enforce with Ava that she must say hello to people in our family, but she does not ever have to kiss or hug anyone if she doesn't want to. It's such a fine line to walk because I want her to know her boundaries with people, but I don't want her to be overly paranoid.

Posted 7/21/10 12:12 AM
 

summerBaby10
let's be nice

Member since 9/07

10208 total posts

Name:
Wifey

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

But how do you tell them that sometimes people they know, not only strangers, can hurt them? Is that conversation for an older child?

Posted 7/22/10 8:01 AM
 

laurabora
LIF Adult

Member since 4/07

2712 total posts

Name:
Laura

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

I started just telling them what their private parts were and that nobody was allowed to touch them, and if anyone ever tried they should say "NO!" loudly, get away from them and always tell us, no matter what the person says.

Posted 7/22/10 9:50 AM
 

laurabora
LIF Adult

Member since 4/07

2712 total posts

Name:
Laura

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

Posted by karacg

See, I differ here because I will never tell my DD NOT to talk to strangers. I talk to strangers all the time, so it would be very hypocritical of me.

I will teach her not to GO with strangers, and the like -- but we talk to strangers waiting in line at the grocery store, at Dunkin Donuts, in the park, etc....and we've met some fascinating people and new friends this way!



I agree...I read a great book called Protecting the Gift that talks about how we need to teach our kids how to speak to strangers because most of the time they are not the real danger.

Posted 7/22/10 9:56 AM
 

Aries14
Can't plan life...

Member since 8/08

2860 total posts

Name:

Re: Talking to your kids about molestors?

Posted by laurabora

Posted by karacg

See, I differ here because I will never tell my DD NOT to talk to strangers. I talk to strangers all the time, so it would be very hypocritical of me.

I will teach her not to GO with strangers, and the like -- but we talk to strangers waiting in line at the grocery store, at Dunkin Donuts, in the park, etc....and we've met some fascinating people and new friends this way!



I agree...I read a great book called Protecting the Gift that talks about how we need to teach our kids how to speak to strangers because most of the time they are not the real danger.



Sad to say that about 90% of these cases are family members or friends that molest the child. Chat Icon So, I do think there should be more to "the talk" then just 'strangers'.

Just out of curiosity - if there was a "class" given in your community - whether it is for the parents on how to talk or for the kids... would you ladies go to it?

Posted 7/22/10 11:51 AM
 
 

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