Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

having 2 under 2 AND having kids further apart.

In a previous post I mentioned that DH and I might be TTC this fall (aug/sep) which would make DD and the new baby about 20 months apart.

But on the other had I'm thinking I might want to have a bigger gap between them because everyone says "enjoy her" "having them close is hard work" and not to mention I would have to be a SAHM (I work pt)

So girls, give me some feed back!! I need to hear the pros and cons of both situations from gals who are actually living it!!

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

Mine are almost 15 months apart. Definitely more pros than cons.

Pros: Easier to entertain who are close in age, diaper changes, less jealousy, go to school together and best pals.

Oh, I forgot one more thing, waking up in the middle of the night, those days are over

Cons: Exhaustion


There was a topic about this here not that long ago. This will also help.


Pros and Cons

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

Well Krissy, you know my monsters are 12 months and 12 days apart. I'm not gonna lie - its hard

For me I wish that my kids were a bit further apart b/c I feel like I missed so many great "stages" with Ava. However, Jack also had severe colic and is very "spirited" so maybe if he had been a different child I may have felt different.

On the positive side - I love how close my kids are - Ava doesn't remember him not being here so there wasn't any jealousy. They play together all day long - they're best buds when they're not tearing eachother's heads off

Stagewise - its tough. One kid ends a stage and the other starts but for me once its over, I'm done with it. I won't have that "gap" of having to deal with it again at a later date.

Some days I love it, some days I hate it. Some days I think its the greatest thing - other days I want to put my head through a wall.......I think you're going to feel certain things no matter what the age difference is. I don't think there is any "magic" number for your kids to be agewise.

However, my kids are my loves and I can't imagine my life being any different.

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

I'm a former member of the 2 under 2 crowd! My girls are 20 mos. apart--the older one will be 3 in Sept. and the younger one turned 1 last week.

I can't really think of too many drawbacks, honestly. I had a relatively easy transition and we were still in the "baby" scene, so we didn't have to return after an absence.

I hear several people saying to moms with kids very close in age, "Oh, they'll be the best of friends!" Eh, I don't find that to be so true here. Kate is very intolerant of Abby--pushing her, yelling at her, taking stuff away from her. That's a battle, but I guess that's sisters (I was an older sister to a 20 month younger one ) But on the flip side, they LAUGH together, you have to see it! They love holding hands in their carseats! And now that Abby's more of a "person" they can definitely do things together without me getting involved every 2 seconds (except to break up the scuffles )...I'm looking forward to when they can really play together. And being so close in age, they'll be interested in the same toys at the same age more or less.

Also, I hear people saying they could NEVER have 2 in diapers. OMG...so NOT an issue!!! It's so EASY to have 2 in diapers! I'm afraid of training the older one Can you imagine out and about with 2 kids and the newly trained one has to go to the bathroom constantly! I dread those days, but again, no matter what, we all go through it!

Anyway, I could go on and on and ON ...but good luck with your decision!!

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

my sister an d I are 20 months apart and we are SUPER close, always have been

for ME, personally, I want to enjoy dd a little longer and I want her to be potty trained, if possible before we have #2, so we are planning to have our DC be 2 1/2 - 3 years apart....I would not want them further apart than 3 years

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

I found this great article awhile back on whattoexpect.com about the pros and cons of this very subject.

Ready to Do this Again?

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

Posted by Eireann

But on the flip side, they LAUGH together, you have to see it! They love holding hands in their carseats!

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

Anyone else??

Re: Tell me about the Good, Bad & Ugly of...

I only have one child, so I can't speak from parental experience, but my sister and I are 9 years apart. I was really excited to have a sister, and I was happy to help my mother out. She says I made it so much easier for her, and she slept in some mornings when she was up with the baby and knew I would wake her up if the baby needed something. When I was a preteen and young teen, I babysat her a lot, and my sister didn't have to be in an after school program.

We've always been close and never really argued, probably because we were always at different points in our lives and wanted different things. Now it's nice to finally share adult interests and tastes.