Thank you all for the well wishes...Grandma passed today

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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty

Member since 5/05

7740 total posts

Name:
Sharon

Thank you all for the well wishes...Grandma passed today

I feel like I'm going to lose it...VERY soon. My Mom thankfully is getting transferred to outpatient therapy by the end of the day. So that's good news, right?? Well, last night, I went to check on Grandma (haven't been there in about a week) and I uncovered something straight out of one of those shows Chat Icon She has stopped getting off the couch and had taken to urinating/defecating anywhere she could in the room. In pots, glasses, candy dishes, etc. There was literally wads of toliet paper with excrement in them. I can't even begin to describe how severe or horrendous the situation was. She hadn't literally eaten in days and lord knows the last time her cat was fed. My brother was "supposedly" caring for her but no one has heard from him in about a week or so and my Dad assumed (since he's been jockeying around with my Mom and dealing with his own health issues) that my brother was picking up the slack since he lives just a few houses away and has always checked in with her every other day/every day. He's the one who primarily cares for her grocery needs, etc. When you talked to her on the phone, she said she had a house full of stuff and that she was okay. Yeah, what she failed to mention was that she couldn't get off the couch!! After I literally cleaned up S/P from every crevice (I don't even know what to do with the couch except drag it to the curb), cleaned her about 15x, did a TON of laundry, etc., I had to drag myself to the store and get her diapers/wipes, etc. I called my parents and RIPPED them a new one...this situation with her has gone on long enough. I think she's in full blown dementia because she kept yelling about the food I was putting in front of her to eat (bananas, toast, etc.) that her "doctor" wouldn't want her to eat these things. He's been f'ing dead for 20 years!!! Does ANYONE know anything about being assigned a POA for elder care? Someone has to step in; I can't spend every night at the house caring for her and I can't trust the family around me to be responsible for her either. I don't think I've ever felt as low as I did last night. I feel so helpless and lost right now.

We've had a horrible update to our situation...My father was with Grandma this morning and suddenly she became unresponsive. By the time the paramedics arrived, she was unconscious. They revivied her at the hospital but she had some type of seizure in front of me (I seriously have never seen anything like that and freaked that she died because the monitors flatlined). They put her into a induced coma and are determining what is happening wtih her. What they can tell is that she's had previous mini strokes and most likely something of a greater magnitude today. I feel numb. Here my brothers are crunching numbers; worrying about who gets what, what will happen to the house, etc. and all I can think about is how much I loved sleeping over her house when I was little, her making me chicken soup w/applesauce, the smell of my great-grandfather's teddy bear, the time my Mom, Grandma and I watched the Tom Jones episode where Grandma commented on how she wished he'd sweat on top of her (this was in the last two years Chat Icon ). God bless you Grandma. If you want to see Grandpa, no one is going to blame you

Message edited 9/30/2008 11:47:11 PM.

Posted 9/25/08 12:17 PM