The hits just keep coming.

My friend at work called me a little while ago to tell me she is pregnant. Again I am so happy for her but so sad for myself. She is due on 10/21. I was due on 10/24 She sits next to me, I see her every single day. Its going to be like a slap in the face as I see her getting bigger, we would have been at EXACTLY the same points. So she's 10 weeks while I'm waiting for AF so I can start clomid again. ahh... life's just not fair.

She says that I had a big role to play in her getting pregnant - I gave her my copy of TCOYF since it was useless to me. I'm glad it worked for someone - it wasn't a total waste of money.

I really hope I don't sound bitter. I am so happy for her. I'm not bitter, but I can't help but to be a little jealous.

Oh yeah and I got an email from my other friend I just found out was pregnant if I would go shopping for maternity clothes with her. I am going to have to tell her when I see her, she's the only one who doesn't know about the IF or the m/c at this point. I just don't want to make her feel bad or want her to think I am trying to take away from her happiness. I should have told her before I knew she was pregnant. How do I tell her without making it sound like I am trying to make her feel bad?

Re: The hits just keep coming.

Lauren - I'm so sorry... this truly does suck. At this point, I'd be feeling all the same feelings you are, it's completely normal.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

I'm sorry Lauren. It's completely normal to feel the way that you are. Are you close enough to the coworker to tell her that you recently miscarried so she'll know why you may not always be as bubbly/excited as she may think you would? And you don't sound bitter at all--- and if anyone thinks you do- they know where they can go. This board is our safehaven and your feelings are completely justified...
I think you should definitely say something to you friend. I would just start by saying that that you and DH hadn't shared w/ anyone, but due to recent circumstances you're opening up to your close friends because you need the support/understanding. A true friend will understand that. When is your luck going to turn around? I feel like you've gotten hit from all different angles lately, it's so unfair.
Please know I'm here for you!!
Here's praying that this cycle is it!!!

Re: The hits just keep coming.

My co-worker does know about the miscarriage, I told her a couple of weeks ago. She knows about everything I am going through - she is so good about it too, and she told me when I just spoke to me how much she is rooting for me and that if there is anything she can do to let her know. I really am happy for her, and to be honest I was not totally surprised. I knew she was trying and I had a feeling she was pregnant. It was when she told me her EDD my heart broke a little bit.

I will definitely tell my other friend. I feel bad I haven't told her yet. We just never had a time where we have been alone lately for some reason. She is absolutely not the type to not understand. I just feel so weird telling her when she just announced her pregnancy.

Message edited 4/2/2008 10:24:44 PM.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

I am so sorry, Lauren.

If you friend can't at all understand where you're coming from and what you've been through, then she stinks. Plain and simple.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

I'm so sorry.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

I'm so sorry, this is an extremely tough time.
Don't worry about telling your friend, she is not going to think ill of you. I'm sure a part of her is going to feel bad that she is PG right now while you are going through this.
Keep your chin up....it can only get better, right?

Re: The hits just keep coming.

Lauren, I'm sorry; don't worry about telling your friend; she will understand.

Here are some hugs for you and prayers that your luck will turn around!!

Re: The hits just keep coming.

Oh Lauren...hoping your luck turns around very soon!

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I'm sorry.

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I'm so, so sorry

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I am so sorry.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

Lauren,

I am so sorry! I completely understand though. A very good friend of mine is due the same exact day I would have been, June 7. It's been very difficult to watch her reach the milestones that I would have been at. She was not to hip to it in the beginning, b/c of her excitement, which I understood, but became sensitive to my pain eventually. She shares certain details, but keeps certain things to herself, which I am thankful for.

All I can say is I have found patience and strength I thought I would never have, and you will to.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

It is comepletely normal to feel how you do. I also had a friend due the same time i would have been due and it does make it hard to not compare..oh i would hve looked like that etc...in time it really did get a little easier.

Lots of hugs!

Re: The hits just keep coming.

Awww Lauren that completely sucks. I think you have every right to feel the way you do and I'm sure your friend will understand. If she doesn't, well then shame on her - she's not worthy of YOUR friendship.

Re: The hits just keep coming.

I know that feeling; last year when I m/c, there were about 8 women in my company pregnant. Plus, one of my bf was due when I was, so it was not easy. I hope that you will soon be pg and wonderful things come your way. You have every right in the meantime to feel sad and even jealous - it's completely normal!

Re: The hits just keep coming.

I have two friends at work who were in this IF journey with me, and have since graduated and are both pregnant. It can be hard at times, more so for you considering your m/c. Just let yourself feel the sadness and the happiness at the same time. There's no shame or guilt in what you're feeling - it's totally and completely human. And know that your turn will be next, and they will be your best supporters and cheerleaders when it does happen, just as you are for them

Re: The hits just keep coming.

Thank you everyone! I love you all!!