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The New Parent Rut...

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Pages: [1] 2

mommy2bella
Where does time go?

Member since 12/05

9747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

The New Parent Rut...

Anyone experiencing strain in your relationship with DH now that you have a baby? My DH is beyond amazing and VERY involved in everything we do for Bella...sometimes a little much. I try to be relaxed and he gets soooo amped up over nothing sometimes...

I mean she gained 1 lb 8 oz in 5 1/2 weeks at a time when babies are supposed to slow down in their gains, I think it's OK if she doesn't wanna eat all her dinner one night Chat Icon Chat Icon

I just feel like our weekdays are filled with mini-battles that amount to really nothing but really chip away at the core...I love him so much, but the thought of strangling him gets more enticing when he nitpicks what number to put the air conditioner in her room on because he feels an imaginary nice breeze (um, hi, we close her windows and the door)

Anyone else in a little rut??

Posted 7/25/06 11:42 AM
 
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: The New Parent Rut...

YES I'm going through the same thing right now with DH. He has been very involved in caring for katie since day 1 and 99% of the time I'm so thankful for that. But there are times, like the last few days, that I feel like flicking him in the nose! Chat Icon Like yesterday - poor baby is SO sick and didn't nap all day. She FINALLY fell asleep around 4:30...he got home at 5:30 and WOKE HER UP! Tried to give her some bottle and then just put her back in her crip like she was just supposed to go back to sleep. She didn't - she was hysterical and screaming because she is that sick - he let my Mom deal with her.

Stuff like that pisses me off. That's the 2nd time he did that this week.

Posted 7/25/06 11:45 AM
 

lmb03
Stop kissing me!

Member since 5/05

2636 total posts

Name:
L

Re: The New Parent Rut...

I feel your pain. DH is great with DD and helps out as much as he can, but he is very overprotective and if she makes one little noise or coos the wrong way he wants to bring her to the DR. to see what is wrong - Um...she is a baby!

Posted 7/25/06 11:50 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Yes and we've been in one for a long time since she was born.

Posted 7/25/06 11:53 AM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Ugh can I relate. I have been in Day Care for almost 20 yearsChat Icon So it is safe to say that my experience with small children is slightly more than hisChat Icon Yet he is always second guessing me and it makes me so madChat Icon He would have Damien at the Dr once a week some timesChat Icon

Message edited 7/25/2006 11:59:56 AM.

Posted 7/25/06 11:59 AM
 

Spring Baby06
My two loves

Member since 5/05

3612 total posts

Name:
Jillian

Re: The New Parent Rut...

yes

Posted 7/25/06 12:00 PM
 

mtg1970
We love summer!

Member since 5/05

1063 total posts

Name:
Teresa

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Us Us!

I chalk it up to being new parents.....I am probably more like your DH and my DH is like you (laid back). He is extremely involved as well (actually takes care of her from 7:45-1:30 and goes to work from 2-10pm so he is fully aware of how hard it is to care for an infant. We have mini battles everyday over everything which I believe comes from being tired and overworked. There is basically no real downtime in our home and sometimes the fatigue catches up with us which leads to snapping over any little thing. We do acknowledge that this is most likely the case and try to adjust.

Posted 7/25/06 12:02 PM
 

steph4777
**************

Member since 5/05

11726 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Yes.... We've been in a rut for a while on and off. DH and I have been bickering for the last 3 months over little stupid stuff. Most of it is the stress of him studying and not helping out much at home. Plus me adjusting to the working mom thing is tough. But tomorrow at 5pm it will be over and hopefully, I'll have my hubby back.

Posted 7/25/06 12:03 PM
 

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Yup, us too. But actually we just got out of it. We would have little tiffs here and there about the baby. Plus he's switching jobs right now so there has been a little stress.

Don't worry Kelly, you get out of that rut soon enough.Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 12:07 PM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by mommy2bellabean
I love him so much, but the thought of strangling him gets more enticing when he nitpicks what number to put the air conditioner in her room on because he feels an imaginary nice breeze (um, hi, we close her windows and the door)



OMG, I'm laughing hysterically! This is my DH to a T! We've had more fights about the "imaginary" breeze than you could imagine! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 12:22 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

We went through a rut when mine were younger too. Someone would tell him something at work & he would take it as gospel (wipe warmers are bad, cold bottles are fine for them).

Now that they're older we're enjoying them & us more.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 12:37 PM
 

pugmama
April already?

Member since 3/06

5297 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: The New Parent Rut...

yup!!! We dont really fight but bicker and get on each other's nerves about little things.

Posted 7/25/06 12:40 PM
 

JRG71
*****************

Member since 5/05

5025 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by nrthshgrl

We went through a rut when mine were younger too. Someone would tell him something at work & he would take it as gospel (wipe warmers are bad, cold bottles are fine for them).

Now that they're older we're enjoying them & us more.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



My DH does the same thing - Makes me so crazy!!

Posted 7/25/06 12:51 PM
 

mommy2bella
Where does time go?

Member since 12/05

9747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: The New Parent Rut...

I just realized what we really can be when we went to this wedding a few weeks ago. We danced and acted silly and we were soooo affectionate with each other.

And then Monday rolled around and it was the temp of her bathwater battle and whether she was tired enough to be going to bed for the night...pick, pick, pick...by the time she is in bed (I come home at 6-ish and it's a whirlwind of feeding, playing, bathing, and putting to bed at 8-ish) we are scrambling to eat dinner and then I am already feeling pissy with him so it's like we are always recovering from being in a snit...

He is also a little jealous of the fact that she is very mommy-centric right now and only wants me sometimes....me, I just want to pee when I walk in the door, I can't win.

Posted 7/25/06 12:54 PM
 

antoinette
boy mamma

Member since 5/05

2975 total posts

Name:
Antoinette

Re: The New Parent Rut...

yes definetly, we talk about it all the time which is great. we talk about going out just the two of us and we are soon. We bicker over everything and it stinks, and I def dont want my child to be around fighting parents all the time so we need to work things out soon. Luckily we both agree on that now its just solving it. We always say ok no more fighting and then something comes up and we are at it again and its always sooo stupid really, when I tell a gf why we are fighting she looks at me like Chat Icon its over some thing like 20 bucks or ten minutes just not worth it but we are both stubbornChat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 12:54 PM
 

mommy2bella
Where does time go?

Member since 12/05

9747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by nrthshgrl

Someone would tell him something at work & he would take it as gospel (wipe warmers are bad, cold bottles are fine for them).




I made the mistake of NOT rescheduling a well visit at the ped. that I couldn't make. He came home convinced I was over-medicating her by giving her tylenol two nights in a row while her teeth were cutting. Seriously, he's lucky I ain't spiking HIS gatoradeChat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 12:55 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by mommy2bellabean

Posted by nrthshgrl

Someone would tell him something at work & he would take it as gospel (wipe warmers are bad, cold bottles are fine for them).




I made the mistake of NOT rescheduling a well visit at the ped. that I couldn't make. He came home convinced I was over-medicating her by giving her tylenol two nights in a row while her teeth were cutting. Seriously, he's lucky I ain't spiking HIS gatoradeChat Icon



Maybe that's an option for you. Hey - anything for love & if you love him drugged or unconscious on benedryl...Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 1:05 PM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by mommy2bellabean

Posted by nrthshgrl

Someone would tell him something at work & he would take it as gospel (wipe warmers are bad, cold bottles are fine for them).




I made the mistake of NOT rescheduling a well visit at the ped. that I couldn't make. He came home convinced I was over-medicating her by giving her tylenol two nights in a row while her teeth were cutting. Seriously, he's lucky I ain't spiking HIS gatoradeChat Icon



Ok, seriously, we have the same husband. Our fights center on: I think it's time for bed, he doesnt, I think the bathwater is fine, he thinks it's too hot, I think the room is too warn, he refuses to let her sleep in the a/c (I tell him, why isn't she sleeping with air conditioning if we are? His response - yes, but we are covered by the blanket and she isn't. Um, yeah, well, genius, just put her in warmer PJ's Chat Icon ). Let's see, what else, oh yes, he's adamant against over medicating nad will only give tylenol as a last resort, whereas I'm all for letting the poor girl feel better. It took about 3 days for me to convince him that the pediatrician said it was OK to give her tylenol every 6 hours while she had cosackie. The list goes on and on... I've learned to pick my battles. For the not so big stuff, I let it go. I figure, it's not going to hurt her. For big stuff, I take a stand.

Posted 7/25/06 1:12 PM
 

mommy2bella
Where does time go?

Member since 12/05

9747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Beth, they are FREAKIN' twins...
sometimes I feel like there are two women in this relationship...

Posted 7/25/06 1:23 PM
 

SoinLove
Making big changes

Member since 5/05

16541 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: The New Parent Rut...

I guess I'm in the minority here...things are better between DH and I than ever before. I'm sorry to all the ladies that are having troubles Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 1:26 PM
 

mtg1970
We love summer!

Member since 5/05

1063 total posts

Name:
Teresa

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by mommy2bellabean
...me, I just want to pee when I walk in the door



OMG this is me every single day! I get home to take over and I don't even get to pee first. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 1:50 PM
 

LuvMy2Girls
@>---------

Member since 5/05

11165 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: The New Parent Rut...

this thread is at the right time! DH and i have def been bickering over things and we've been wondering if it's just us that have changed sice DD came along. We are def different

When does it get better?

Posted 7/25/06 2:05 PM
 

ggt08
;)

Member since 5/05

5208 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Kelly I am so glad you posted this because i know ita stressful for you and although I can be a good sister and listen. I DONT know what its like and how you feel..

I hope it helps that others are going through the same thing (not that I want any of you ladies going through a rut) but it helps to know there are others out there who are feeling like this...

Lots of hugs for ALL of you!!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 2:16 PM
 

lmb03
Stop kissing me!

Member since 5/05

2636 total posts

Name:
L

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by mommy2bellabean

was the temp of her bathwater battle and whether she was tired enough to be going to bed for the night...pick, pick, pick...

QUOTE]

My DH does the same thing. I have been bathing her for 7 months now, I think I know if the water is too hot, but every night he sticks his finger in it to "make sure" Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/06 2:22 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: The New Parent Rut...

Posted by sweetness


When does it get better?



When the kids get more independent and can express what they want.

The other day, Maddie was on the bed with us and DH said "Come here & give me a hug." She ran over to him & gave him a hug & snuggled next to him. He said "That's right we know who you love more." So I said "Yes we do. Oh I wish I had someone to hug me." She dropped him like yesterday's news.

Posted 7/25/06 2:26 PM
 
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