The terrible two's

I obviously had no idea what they really entailed until our trip to Florida this past week. We had an amazing time, BUT, Alex went into full throttle terrible two's mode. The last night we were there, she started melting at dinner, in the high chair - full, high-pitched screaming, just because I wouldn't give her a french frie. I took her down, and went outside with her, and she laid in the middle of the path, on the ground, pounding her fists, screaming at the top of her lungs. Everyone who passed looked in utter amazement - I sat on a bench and just watched. It continued for about 20 minutes on the ground, and then we went back to the room, and it CONTINUED.

We put her in her crib and told her we would take her out and play with her once she calmed down, and she continued wailing for another 10 minutes. Finally she calmed down, we took her out, played a little and she fell asleep.

Same thing happened yesterday, on the plane. She woke up at the end of the flight, was a grump-ump, and started SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, for the last 25 minutes of the flight.

I don't know how to handle this anymore - it's so frustrating because we were in Florida with friends who have a 5 month old - the baby sleeps through the night, stays quietly in her stroller through every meal, barely makes a peep. We've NEVER had a relaxing meal with Alex. She's always two seconds from melting. I adore that she has so much personality, but I can't handle these tantrums much longer - I've never seen anything like it, and I can't lie, it's so unbelievably humiliating when we are in public.

It's a horrible thing to say, but sometimes I'm so frustrated that we were dealt this card, while others have the easiest babies in the world, and have absolutely NO clue how difficult it can really be.

So, there's my vent... any advice on how to handle these kind of tantrums? Right now, we just let her scream and cry until she runs out of steam. We try to reason with her, and tell her, if you stop crying and calm down, we'll read a book, or play, or give you your paci - it used to work, but it doesn't anymore.

Re: The terrible two's

First of all...so sorry! The frustration for little ones lies with them not being able to communicate I think!! Have you read Toddler Taming? My friends swear by this book...

Re: The terrible two's

Re: The terrible two's

Yikes, I'm sorry I thought maybe it was a communication problem too. Roman would have MAJOR meltdowns when I picked him up at daycare screaming BA BA BA BA. I too would just watch him throw himself on the floor scream, cry, and wiggle around. It was embarrassing when the director and teachers came running to see if I needed help. I realized that may not be the best place to practice my planned ignoring For him it was a communication thing, I think he just missed me and needed to be comforted more so than a physical bottle.

I hope you find some good tips, please share if you do

Re: The terrible two's

Posted by MrsBumbleb

Yikes, I'm sorry I thought maybe it was a communication problem too. Roman would have MAJOR meltdowns when I picked him up at daycare screaming BA BA BA BA. I too would just watch him throw himself on the floor scream, cry, and wiggle around. It was embarrassing when the director and teachers came running to see if I needed help. I realized that may not be the best place to practice my planned ignoring For him it was a communication thing, I think he just missed me and needed to be comforted more so than a physical bottle.

I hope you find some good tips, please share if you do

Message edited 5/29/2007 8:42:21 AM.

Re: The terrible two's

Jillian stared it when she was 2 and we stopped them right away.
First you did the right thing my removing her from the Situation at Dinner. And letting her have some calm down time was the right thing as well
It also gets worse because she sees how upset you are getting from how she is reacting.
I know you say that she can communicate with you even through signing but maybe something else is bothering her.
We actually bought a soft booster chair and call it DD "special seat" This was she does not have to sit in the high chair. I also bring a bag of toys woth me.. onces that i went out with her and let her pick out and she knows they are going out toys.
Also try ordering her food to comeout when your does this way she is not done when you are ust starting. We usually let DD have some bread ot give her some veggies from our salad and then talk to her the bathroom to wash her handsa nd then she is ready to eat when her dinner arrives.

It will get better.. I would aslo ask at Daycare if she asks this way as well

Good luck..

Edited to add .. try to go out and buy her a ittle chair that you can use for "time outs" and tell her she has to sit there for 2 min to think about what she is really getting upset about...I know the crib thing works but you do not want her to hate her crib as well...Also let her try to do things herself maybe she wanted to brush her hair herself.. i always let DD do "herself " first and then I can do it...

Message edited 5/29/2007 8:52:25 AM.

Re: The terrible two's

Re: The terrible two's

she also sounds like she is extremely intelligent, she may be bored. My friend has a son who is super smart and he is always on the verge of a tantrum because he is so intelligent that he requires constant stimulation, could this also be the case? Always have a bag fullof "tricks" with you, it is a great distraction.

Re: The terrible two's

No advice but

Re: The terrible two's

With Jack, what works for us is ignoring him when he starts acting up and yelling. I simply tell him, "Mommy doesn't listen or talk to you while you are acting like that." and I go about my business. I tell him when he is finshed with his screaming he can come and ask me nicely for what he needs/wants. Usually it works because he has learned that acting like a loon gets him no where.

As with meal times, Jack is non stop, wont sit for very long so as long as he eats enough I let him get down after 5-10 minutes. Knowing his personality it is a no win battle at this age to expect him to sit through a peaceful dinner with us.

Somedays I feel like all the kid does is sit in time out, but I've vowed to be consistent with it and if he acts up all day, then in time out he will be.

Its rough...I feel for you. My DD is a perfect little angel....the best baby you could ask for, which somedays makes it seem even harder with Jack since he was never that way as a baby and is still my high maintenance child. Hang in there...it does get better. Jack is now 2 1/2 and it is a world of difference from when he was two. He really understands and listens to consequences and rewards for his behavoir.

Re: The terrible two's

Posted by emilain

she also sounds like she is extremely intelligent, she may be bored. My friend has a son who is super smart and he is always on the verge of a tantrum because he is so intelligent that he requires constant stimulation, could this also be the case? Always have a bag fullof "tricks" with you, it is a great distraction.

Re: The terrible two's

I offer you lots of I was one of those mommies with the easiest baby in the world when I had my son. He still is, for the most part, a very good child we can take anywhere.

Then my DD came along. She is everything that Andrew wasn't and she is giving me a run for my money. She sounds just like Alex and she is only 1!! I am in for a long one with her.

Re: The terrible two's

I totally know what you are going through!


My son was the easiest infant and then he turned one. We went away last week and he was a horror! He didn't sit still for more than 5 minutes!

I am looking for some advice too!

Re: The terrible two's

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by emilain

she also sounds like she is extremely intelligent, she may be bored. My friend has a son who is super smart and he is always on the verge of a tantrum because he is so intelligent that he requires constant stimulation, could this also be the case? Always have a bag fullof "tricks" with you, it is a great distraction.

YES. That's absolutely part of the problem. She needs CONSTANT stimulation, otherwise she gets bored quickly and starts to melt immediately. Usually we provide oodles and oodles of stimulation (which is exhausting), but there are times when we simply cannot - like, on an airplane, or at dinner time in her high chair when we are doing other things. That's when she melts. There are times I can do things to avoid the situation, but I also don't want to be the kind of parent who is constantly jumping through hoops to avoid a tantrum - at some point I want her to learn that there are times that we cannot stimulate her, and that it is unacceptable for her to have such an extreme tantrum as a result.

Re: The terrible two's

I wish I had an easy answer, but I've been doing the same as you - ignoring it, trying to reason, nothing seems to work. Thankfully only one of my twins seems to be going thru it - My DS is an utter nightmare - while my DD is a total angel. Zachary will throw fits, full on throwing himself on the ground, pounding his fists into the pavement all the while screaming at the top of his lungs. I agree that it is completely and utterly embarassing when this happens, and it happens often.

We don't know what to do either. When he is not throwing a tantrum and getting "his way" he is a dream. Spunky, adorable, full of energy, into everything.

I wish I had an answer - it seems we just have to ride this out - and hope and pray that Hailey doesn't start to do the same thing.