| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
My daughter is friendly with a girl in her class and wanted to invite her to a birthday party. Not sure what their story is but her contact info is off on the class list, I would imagine, on purpose. So, I wrote a note to her mother introducing myself, providing my email and cell number and inviting the little girl to the party, and asked the teacher to put it in the girls' folder to take home to her family, which she did.
I never heard back from the mother of the little girl. Not a note, not a text, not an email, not a "no, thank you", NOTHING!
I find it incredibly rude and yet completely fascinating that someone can be just so socially... for the lack of a better work, weird!!
|
Posted 5/3/13 1:42 PM  |
| |
|
Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
How do you know it every actually made it to the mom. My feeling is if you got no response at all, there is probably a good chance the mom didn't get it (be it that the teacher forgot, kid lost it, whatever). I wouldn't just assume she gave no response, but again you never know.
|
| Posted 5/3/13 2:44 PM |
| |
|
InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Honestly, anyone who keeps their contact info off a class list is a bit odd to begin with!
|
| Posted 5/3/13 3:00 PM |
| |
|
KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
If she kept her name off the list she most likely does not want to be bothered with playdates/birthday parties for her DD's friends. Sad and yes weird.
|
| Posted 5/3/13 4:17 PM |
| |
|
CeeEmmDee
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/13 12 total posts
Name:
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Perhaps she's a single mom who has no time for playdates/birthday parties. Or she can't afford them, or her husband is terminally ill, or she's caring for her elderly parents. Before we make such a snap judgement and label someone as "weird" over what could be a very simple mistake - as Lillykat said - perhaps you should try to make contact again.
I sure hope you didn't use that word talking about this around your child, because they will begin to call this person's child weird. Bullying starts with parents, and this is a good example I'm afraid.
|
| Posted 5/3/13 7:22 PM |
| |
|
Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Most schools do not allow notes going home to one child. It has to be the whole class or all girls/all boys. This was a party invitation and would fit into that.
|
| Posted 5/3/13 7:54 PM |
| |
|
InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by CeeEmmDee
Perhaps she's a single mom who has no time for playdates/birthday parties. Or she can't afford them, or her husband is terminally ill, or she's caring for her elderly parents. Before we make such a snap judgement and label someone as "weird" over what could be a very simple mistake - as Lillykat said - perhaps you should try to make contact again.
I sure hope you didn't use that word talking about this around your child, because they will begin to call this person's child weird. Bullying starts with parents, and this is a good example I'm afraid.
Perhaps. But she could still respond to the OP's note.
ETA: Making this about bullying is beyond ridiculous. 
Message edited 5/3/2013 8:21:09 PM.
|
| Posted 5/3/13 8:19 PM |
| |
|
Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by InShock
Posted by CeeEmmDee
Perhaps she's a single mom who has no time for playdates/birthday parties. Or she can't afford them, or her husband is terminally ill, or she's caring for her elderly parents. Before we make such a snap judgement and label someone as "weird" over what could be a very simple mistake - as Lillykat said - perhaps you should try to make contact again.
I sure hope you didn't use that word talking about this around your child, because they will begin to call this person's child weird. Bullying starts with parents, and this is a good example I'm afraid.
Perhaps. But she could still respond to the OP's note.
ETA: Making this about bullying is beyond ridiculous.
Yes but that presumes she got the note. Unfortunately (btw I missed that she left her contact info off which is strange) unless you see her and ask if she got the note or resend it there really is no way to really know if she received it or not. Could your DC ask the child if her mom got the note you sent?
|
| Posted 5/3/13 8:25 PM |
| |
|
Ookpik
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/06 726 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
I have a little girl in my class who is a Jehovah's Witness. They're not allowed to partake in any type of birthday celebration. Perhaps there is a religious reason why they've left their contact information off and would prefer not to explain it?
|
| Posted 5/4/13 12:28 AM |
| |
|
Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
There could be many reasons why their left their contact off - like a PP said, could be religious. When DD was in nursery and pre-k one of the dads was an FBI agent, so needless to say they didn't just give out their contact information.
|
| Posted 5/4/13 8:35 AM |
| |
|
WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by InShock
Posted by CeeEmmDee
Perhaps she's a single mom who has no time for playdates/birthday parties. Or she can't afford them, or her husband is terminally ill, or she's caring for her elderly parents. Before we make such a snap judgement and label someone as "weird" over what could be a very simple mistake - as Lillykat said - perhaps you should try to make contact again.
I sure hope you didn't use that word talking about this around your child, because they will begin to call this person's child weird. Bullying starts with parents, and this is a good example I'm afraid.
Perhaps. But she could still respond to the OP's note.
ETA: Making this about bullying is beyond ridiculous.
Thank you, InShock. That's just my point!
It's perfectly OK to chose not to take your child to a birthday party for whatever reason- be it religion, lack of resources or time. But not to reply to a handwritten note that I know was placed in her child's folder?? I was a single mom for 2 whole years when my husband was working out of state and I was alone with 2 kids in NY - I don't see how it would have prevented me from taking a sheet of paper and writing exactly this - "Hello, thank you for your note. Unfortunately, my daughter will not be able to attend. Best regards, Name."
And I must say: turning this into a post about bulling does take very, very special kind of imagination.  
|
| Posted 5/4/13 10:32 AM |
| |
|
Bobfan24
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 250 total posts
Name:
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
You can't assume the mother got the note -- anything can happen.
I asked my nanny to hand a birthday invitation to a mom at dismissal with whom I'm very friendly. A day before the party, I had not heard from the mom. I emailed her and after a bit of back and forth, it turns out she assumed it was a valentine (and not an invite) and gave it to her 2 year old to play with and never read it!
As for being off the contact list, again, there could be an explanation (like the FBI agent example above)...
Did the party happen already? Don't be surprised if she ends up coming -- there are always a few kids from DC's class who don't RSVP but end up showing up!
|
| Posted 5/4/13 10:34 PM |
| |
|
FranM
And so it goes....
Member since 9/05 2217 total posts
Name:
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
I agree she may not have seen it. Not all parents check their kids folders.
|
| Posted 5/5/13 7:30 AM |
| |
|
Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by WhatNow
Posted by InShock
Posted by CeeEmmDee
Perhaps she's a single mom who has no time for playdates/birthday parties. Or she can't afford them, or her husband is terminally ill, or she's caring for her elderly parents. Before we make such a snap judgement and label someone as "weird" over what could be a very simple mistake - as Lillykat said - perhaps you should try to make contact again.
I sure hope you didn't use that word talking about this around your child, because they will begin to call this person's child weird. Bullying starts with parents, and this is a good example I'm afraid.
Perhaps. But she could still respond to the OP's note.
ETA: Making this about bullying is beyond ridiculous.
Thank you, InShock. That's just my point!
It's perfectly OK to chose not to take your child to a birthday party for whatever reason- be it religion, lack of resources or time. But not to reply to a handwritten note that I know was placed in her child's folder?? I was a single mom for 2 whole years when my husband was working out of state and I was alone with 2 kids in NY - I don't see how it would have prevented me from taking a sheet of paper and writing exactly this - "Hello, thank you for your note. Unfortunately, my daughter will not be able to attend. Best regards, Name."
And I must say: turning this into a post about bulling does take very, very special kind of imagination.
The bullying part is ridiculous...listen I totally understand why you are upset. I would be too, but I would try to look at it that you can't be 100% sure she even received the invite. The teacher could have forgotten and thought she did it, maybe she put it in the wrong bag, the child might not have given it to her mom, a babysitter/nanny at home could have missplaced it and it could be sitting somewhere....there are so many what ifs that that I wouldn't take it too personally or get too upset with her because unless it was handed directly her you will never know the truth.
|
| Posted 5/5/13 8:15 AM |
| |
|
CeeEmmDee
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/13 12 total posts
Name:
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
I was referring to having the "weird" label the writer imposed upon the parent of this child, being said in front on their child. Words can be extremely hurtful, especially coming innocently from the mouths of children who've heard it from the parents in the first place. Read this article to educate yourselves a big - http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html
|
| Posted 5/5/13 9:59 AM |
| |
|
Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
She could have a large family and not have time, could have forgotten, maybe she is working FT, she is probably just very busy. Don't take it personally. . I know several families ( that have more then one child) just don't do play dates at all and really limit bday parties to best friends. Weekdays are all about school and activities. They are not strange, they push the kids academically and activity wise. Big family hogs up the weekends too.
Message edited 5/5/2013 11:01:17 AM.
|
| Posted 5/5/13 10:20 AM |
| |
|
WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by CeeEmmDee
I was referring to having the "weird" label the writer imposed upon the parent of this child, being said in front on their child. Words can be extremely hurtful, especially coming innocently from the mouths of children who've heard it from the parents in the first place. Read this article to educate yourselves a big - http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html
Much like any other adult, I use a lot of words in adult conversations — including ones on this forum — that I would never say in front of my children. Why would you assume I even shared with my child the topic of conversation I was having with adults on a parenting forum?
|
| Posted 5/5/13 3:56 PM |
| |
|
InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by WhatNow
Posted by CeeEmmDee
I was referring to having the "weird" label the writer imposed upon the parent of this child, being said in front on their child. Words can be extremely hurtful, especially coming innocently from the mouths of children who've heard it from the parents in the first place. Read this article to educate yourselves a big - http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html
Much like any other adult, I use a lot of words in adult conversations — including ones on this forum — that I would never say in front of my children. Why would you assume I even shared with my child the topic of conversation I was having with adults on a parenting forum?
EXACTLY.
|
| Posted 5/5/13 5:49 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
When you say the information on the class list is 'off' what do you mean? It isn't correct or not listed?
I wouldn't assume she got the note, or they are just rude. You never know either way. LOL
|
| Posted 5/5/13 7:29 PM |
| |
|
justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
We have this problem all the time at my son's daycare, there are many people who are rude and thoughtless. Oh we'll I just feel bad for the kids because that limits a kids friend making attempts etc
|
| Posted 5/5/13 7:31 PM |
| |
|
my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by WhatNow
Posted by CeeEmmDee
I was referring to having the "weird" label the writer imposed upon the parent of this child, being said in front on their child. Words can be extremely hurtful, especially coming innocently from the mouths of children who've heard it from the parents in the first place. Read this article to educate yourselves a big - http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html
Much like any other adult, I use a lot of words in adult conversations — including ones on this forum — that I would never say in front of my children. Why would you assume I even shared with my child the topic of conversation I was having with adults on a parenting forum?
EXACTLY!!!
The use of the word bully is out of control!!!! You can't say or do anything that people don't like without someone throwing out that word. My kids came home saying someone was bullying a girl on the bus - a boy called a girl one bad name one time and she told on him and the situation was corrected. Same day a girl came off the bus saying people were nbullying her - came down to they didn't want to play what she was playing that day so they said no...she didn't like it so she said she was bullied! Kids are kids - they say things and it isn't always a reflection of the parent. It irked me how easily my kids used the word bully. We don't ues that to describe people in my house.
WHATNOW - my thinking would have been the same as you - rude they didn't respond. Yes it is true that something could have happened to the note but wouldn't have been my 1st thought either. Parents should check their kids folders!!! That's something that irks me too! lol
|
| Posted 5/6/13 8:21 AM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
OP - my kid's backpacks are like a blackhole. I'd see if there was another way to get in touch with her (FB, google, etc)
Posted by CeeEmmDee
I was referring to having the "weird" label the writer imposed upon the parent of this child, being said in front on their child. Words can be extremely hurtful, especially coming innocently from the mouths of children who've heard it from the parents in the first place. Read this article to educate yourselves a big - http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/name-calling-vs-bullying.html
This isn't bullying. It doesn't even remotely describe bullying.
I do agree that we should all watch what we say in front of our children because they pick up everything. Unless the OP's child is on this site & able to read, I wouldn't worry about it.
|
| Posted 5/6/13 9:45 AM |
| |
|
|
|
This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
To the OP...not in a critical way but try not to assume it was a rude gesture (although yes some parents can be this way)...I know my DD takes papers out of her folder before I can get even take a look. She has even innocently taken stuff out and thrown it away thinking its just junk. Im just saying that maybe there are other reasons she didnt respond other than just being rude.
|
| Posted 5/9/13 8:57 AM |
| |
|
2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
Posted by CeeEmmDee
Perhaps she's a single mom who has no time for playdates/birthday parties. Or she can't afford them, or her husband is terminally ill, or she's caring for her elderly parents. Before we make such a snap judgement and label someone as "weird" over what could be a very simple mistake - as Lillykat said - perhaps you should try to make contact again.
I sure hope you didn't use that word talking about this around your child, because they will begin to call this person's child weird. Bullying starts with parents, and this is a good example I'm afraid.
What? This is such an odd response. This by far takes the cake for "hypothetical diabetic" response.
|
| Posted 5/9/13 8:37 PM |
| |
|
adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
|
Re: This I find fascinating: bit of a vent.
I would take it as a no and wouldn't send another note. I wouldnt stress over trying to figure out why people don't respond to things.
|
| Posted 5/10/13 11:28 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
