"This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

What I mean is this...

I have two girls. Almost all of my friends have boys--many have strictly boys.

Everytime you hear a story about a teenage pregnancy, or a rape, or "teenagers today..." Or anytime you see the way teenagers are dressed at the mall, or the shows on MTV etc. You hear, "This is why I'm so glad I have sons!" I've even seen similar comments on here.

One of my DH's best friends recently had a boy and is currently in "newborn hell" Anyway he told my DH (to paraphrase), "It's pure torture right now, but at least it's a boy..." or something like that.

Do parents of boys get the same negative commentary? Is it only parents of girls? Am I sensitive to it BECAUSE I only have girls?

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard.

like their lives are somehow better/easier because they have sons instead of daughters?



people are so DUMB. kick them in the shins

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

As a mom of a I think it is just terrible! That's an awful thing to say. As if boys don't play any role in that happening

ETA I did have a coworker tell me "a daughter is a daughter all of her life, a son is a son till he takes a wife" upon learning it was a and that remains one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me

Message edited 12/29/2008 3:09:25 PM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I think both genders have their ups & downs.

It makes no sense to me when you hear a girl get raped that you'd say you're glad you have sons. Someone's son did the raping. I'm sure that parent is going through a whole lot of anguish.

Message edited 12/29/2008 3:09:46 PM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Well we just found out baby # 2 is a girl, and we got the girl comments also. I get, don't you wish this baby was another boy so you would be free and clear when they turn 13? Ummm, no. Each sex has their own issues to deal with. Neither sex is a walk in the park, but both are equally as wonderful. Some people make me . You have beautiful girls, and I know you know how lucky and blessed you are, don't let other people get to you!

ETA: I have heard that saying before too...A daughter is a daughter for life...Whoever said that obviously doesn't know my DH. At 28, he is still a huge mama's boy...almost to the point of being annoying!

Message edited 12/29/2008 3:11:58 PM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Posted by Gatsbygirl

ETA I did have a coworker tell me "a daughter is a daughter all of her life, a son is a son till he takes a wife" upon learning it was a and that remains one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I personally feel that boys/men have it a bit "easier" in life than women. Double standards, work pay, etc...

That being said, my son is at risk of a rape like any other little girl. I do have to worry about his safety just like if I had a little girl.

Yes, they are not at risk to get PG but they face other challenges.

In term of NB boys or girls. This is totally ridiculous!!! Each child has their own personality regardless of gender. Boys whines just like girls.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I have 2 friends with 4 kids each... both had 2 girls, then a boy, then a girl.

They both told me to pray for a girl when I was pregnant.

One of them, when she was preggo with #4, would flat out tell you that she wanted her baby to be a girl because she couldn't deal with another boy because they're so crazy.

The other hired a babysitter *JUST* for her DS because her mom couldn't watch him alone, even though she has no problem watching her DDs together.

The last time we went to lunch my friend's 8 year old DD had to grab her 3 year old DS before he ran into moving traffic (because he just took off without warning as we left the restaurant), she told me "this is why you don't want boys!"

So it works both ways.

And what - do they think their sons can't come home with a pregnant girlfriend?

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

OK, I may be the minority here, but this is my view on it....

As far as the boys are crazy statement, I think either sex can be wild and crazy, as evidenced by my own cousins.....the only boy out of 4 kids and he's the most calm, the girls go crazy while he does his own thing....

As far as the "you're lucky, you have it so easy with a boy" comment, to a certain extent I have to agree. Granted I worry and will continue to worry about my son until the day I die.....but if I raise him right, , I may not have to worry AS MUCH as if I had a girl. Let's face it, as many of us have experienced who have brothers, we were not allowed to do many of the same things as our brothers simply because we were female.
And I have to agree......girls get crazy in their teen years, hormones out of whack, guys are noticing them more, there is an impossible standard to uphold what with the society we live in.....it's just simply not as daunting for a boy....girls have it a lot tougher and we as parents feel the need to shelter and protect them a little more than boys.

And there is no comment I can make about the whole rape comment, that's just terrible for anyone to say, and stupid to boot.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I hear that from friends and strangers as well since we have two girls and just think they are ignorant people. The reality is this is not the same generation that our granparents or even parents existed in--its a whole new ballgame for these kids.

Pregnancy--Takes TWO so both girls and boys are affected

Rape---has taken on a whole new face, not just girls anymore-- Many pedophiles tend to target young boys so to link rape just to girls shows how detached people are from the society we live in

Girls have society issues--body image etc this I agree but boys do as well--just not as publicized. But its there.

As for violent crimes--both are exposed so there is no SAFE "gender" to raise.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I will admit, I honestly did not 'care' about the sex of this baby -But when I found out he was a boy, my first reaction was b/c I wouldnt' have someone to do the fun girly stuff with -Like mani/pedi bonding sessions and shopping and cheerleading etc etc - And I had this pang of jealousy that DH was SO excited b/c I could see the wheels turning in his head of all of the 'stuff' he was going to do w/ 'his son' -

....and then it was b/c teenage boys can't get pregnant. -
That really did go through my head -

I would NEVER say to someone 'oh thank God I'm having a boy' b/c I think there HAVE to be ups and downs to BOTH genders !! - You worry and stress about different things, but you're still worrying and stressing -

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Oh, it annoys me a lot - I have two DDs....the one I get all the time is "girls are easy now, just wait until they get older"....

thanks for the advice, now go stick it...

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Oh, that must drive you crazy. Boy moms get the same kind of stuff.

I'm expecting my second boy and I get comments like "you poor thing, they're going to rip your house apart." I'm like, well, my 2 year old son is very well behaved and isn't ripping anyone's house apart. I also get the "poor you" comments about not having a daughter to bond with -- makes me crazy since I have an incredible bond with my son!

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

yeah, it's supid stuff people say....

Boys and girls both have challenges growing up.... I totally don't accept that sexist cr@p that teen girls need protection while teen boys don't anything that happens to girls, can happen to boys... it's just that society doesn't readily discuss boys being victimized, so it all seems one-sided.

In the hospital, a cleaning lady popped in and said 'oh, is it a boy or a girl?' I said 'a boy'... she said 'GOOD' I actually took offense to that. If it were a girl I'd also be elated.

The only discrepency between the genders is in how adults behave and are treated. unequal pay and promotions.... and boys being allowed to do anything while girls are coddled like fragile flowers. If we have another child and it's a girl, I will NOT coddle her... mark my words....

as for the pregnancy thing, the boy, if he knocks-up a girl, will also be in deep weeds... I don't buy that argument at all.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I am offended by those types of remarks whether they are about boys or girls. I have made remarks like that in response to the comments that I must be so sad that I don't have a little girl. I think that is a rude remark! The truth is that I somehow knew deep down, my whole life, that I would have a little boy. I am more comfortable as a boy mom because my younger cousins were boys and those were the only babies I knew as a child. I have also made remarks in response to comments that my DH must be so happy to have a little boy. My DH and I are so happy to have a CHILD. Before I had DS, I did not realize that people expect me to want a girl and DH to want a boy.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Just ridiculous. Every child is different, just as the two sexes have differences. There is no hard fast rule for sexes across the board.

Maybe a female child will prefer sports to dolls. Maybe a male child will prefer dolls to sports.

No ONE knows how their child will turn out, and the sex of the child is not always a determination of WHO the child will become as a teen/adult.

Also..I think in SOME cases (not all so NO flames please) people who may have wanted a child of the opposite sex say things like this to make themselves feel more accepting of the sex child they wound up with. So they look to find negative reasons why the sex they don't have would not have been "what they wanted or could handle". Again, NOT all, but definitely some people, this is obvious with the ignorant things some people say.

Message edited 12/29/2008 4:59:29 PM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

While I agree that boys and girls both have their nuances, I will admit that the idea of raising a teenaged girl really scares me.

I think there's a bit more pressure to "raise them right", because even though boys do the impregnating, the girls are the ones that live with the stigma if they get pregnant young.

And I don't even want to THINK about what she will want to wear when she's a teenager. I tell my mom all the time that she was lucky with me...I grew up in the era of Nirvana/flannel shirts/baggy pants!

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Posted by MrsRivera

While I agree that boys and girls both have their nuances, I will admit that the idea of raising a teenaged girl really scares me.

I think there's a bit more pressure to "raise them right", because even though boys do the impregnating, the girls are the ones that live with the stigma if they get pregnant young.

And I don't even want to THINK about what she will want to wear when she's a teenager. I tell my mom all the time that she was lucky with me...I grew up in the era of Nirvana/flannel shirts/baggy pants!

Message edited 1/5/2009 10:26:04 AM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Posted by Gatsbygirl

ETA I did have a coworker tell me "a daughter is a daughter all of her life, a son is a son till he takes a wife" upon learning it was a and that remains one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Posted by Gatsbygirl

ETA I did have a coworker tell me "a daughter is a daughter all of her life, a son is a son till he takes a wife" upon learning it was a and that remains one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me

Message edited 1/5/2009 10:25:38 AM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I have a DS and everyone tells me boys are harder to deal w/ when they are little and girls are harder when they are older. Personally ( My parents had 2 girls) I think it's harder during the pre teen/ teen years when you have a girl. they have esteem issues, body issues, boy issues, pms issues, being a teen girl is rough!

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I think it is a ridiculous sentiment. While the idea of a teenage pregnancy is scary - I think it is not by far the scariest thing that could happen to teenagers - maybe if we lived in 1950.

Both genders are at risk of STDs, drug use, rebellion. With boys, fatal car accidents, drag racing etc. are risk factors.

I do not think anyone can say that a greater percentage of teenage boys fare better than teenage girls. I am sure we have all heard of stories about either gender. I think all of this stems from sexist ideas of women's chastity and outdated notions of the dangers of teenagers. Honestly, regardless of gender I do not want my children to be promiscuous or drug addicts.

ETA: as a teenager I was really good - my brother gave my parents MANY more headaches than I did!!

Message edited 12/29/2008 6:47:10 PM.

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

I have to admit I have said that...but I dont think people really think that boys are perfect...i know there will be MANY bumps in the road with DS

Re: "This is why I'm glad I have sons!" Do you ever get this?

Posted by Gatsbygirl

As a mom of a I think it is just terrible! That's an awful thing to say. As if boys don't play any role in that happening

ETA I did have a coworker tell me "a daughter is a daughter all of her life, a son is a son till he takes a wife" upon learning it was a and that remains one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me