This might be petty- thoughts please

We are going to my DH friend's house today to go swimming. I am more than happy to bring something of course. They asked my DH to bring a case of beer which they know 1000% that neither one of us drink beer. My DH even said to the guy you know I don't drink beer.

Thoughts?

I am so mad at DH today as it is, so don't know if I am being irrational!

Re: This might be petty- thoughts please

That is weird. I wouldn't be mad at your DH since he said something (feel free to continue about previous silliness though. lol)

I would bring a case of non-alcoholic.

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I would bring the beer, but that's just me. I almost always bring beer to a BBQ/party or whatever and usually don't end up drinking it. But if it really bothers you, you could just get a 6 pack instead of a case and then bring something else like soda or chips.

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I think it's weird to ask them to bring something that you don't drink, but I'd bring it anyway.

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this is so situationally dependent.

Did you ask them if there's something you can bring? And they answered beer?

or did they just tell you to bring beer out of the blue?

IDK I'm thinking they may want you to pick up beer for them because they are out and will possibly pay you when you get there for it.

Or maybe they have what you drink there and just need beer... as a trade off?

I think I'd still bring it... just to be nice. Even if I contribute something that I don't necessarily like... It's more about the contributing part for me. I'd still bring it.

IDK either.

Have fun swimming though!

Message edited 7/5/2010 1:25:54 PM.

Re: This might be petty- thoughts please

I would not be mad at your DH, as he told the hosts that you don't drink beer. We don't drink beer either but would still bring it. I would chalk it up to being friends and having a fun day. In no way would I be upset with DH though.

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One of my pet peeves is when I'm having a BBQ and get calls that day asking "what can I bring?" At that point I've already done all the shopping, cooking, etc. I don't need another salad, desert, chips etc. It's just likely to mean food gets thrown out if we have too much left over. In a case like that I'll always suggest either "nothing - I'm all set" or something that has a longer shelf life such as beer, soda, etc. They're providing a pool and presumably food, soda, munchies, etc. so it's kind of irrelevant that you're not going to consume what you bring.

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I'd be irked with the hosts, especially if they know you both dont drink. But I wouldn't be upset with DH, it's not his fault.

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This wouldn't bother me at all!

IMHO, I wouldn't interpret it as you guys asking "what can we bring that WE will enjoy consuming?

IMHO, I would interpret it as you guys asking "what can WE bring to help make THEIR hosting easier? something THEY are low on or could use more of?"

This isn't about YOU and what YOU & DH drink. Its a gesture your DH extended to your hosts (as a common courtesy), and this is what THEY want you to bring.

Since you & DH don't drink, if it were us asking, we would have asked them if THEY have any preference as to brand or type.

The ONLY circumstance where I think I'd find it inappropriate or rude is if you or DH were recovering alcoholics.


ETA: Just a couple of weeks ago, DH & I were invited over to a friend's house for a BBQ dinner. I called and asked what can we bring ... answer was salads. DH doesn't eat any of that stuff. I only eat macaroni salad, and would have been perfectly happy without it. But we went out of our way to go to the place with the best salads we know to bring them potato salad, macaroni salad, coleslaw ... all the while knowing that DH wouldn't touch the stuff and I'd only have 1 or 2 spoons of the macaroni salad. THEY asked for salads, so we brought SALADS, happily since they were providing EVERYTHNG ELSE! I don't consider this to be much different.

Message edited 7/3/2010 2:27:07 PM.

Re: This might be petty- thoughts please

It wouldn't bother me at all. When I offer to bring something to a party, I want to bring something the host needs. I would be confident there will be plenty for me to eat/drink at the party.

I once had to make that god-awful string bean casserole with durkee fried onions for a thanksgiving dinner once.

Re: This might be petty- thoughts please

You def should just bring it anyways... Will you be drinking their soda, liquor etc? You cant really say anything ya know?

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it wouldn't bother me. as people mentioned they have food all covered what else is their to bring - beer, booze, wine? Perhaps bring a 12 pack and a bottle of something you like.

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I agree with PrincessP. A case of beer is a bit much to ask others to bring that do not drink, especially if they KNOW that.

I can see MAYBE asking to bring beer (which could be anywhere from a 6 pack to a case) or wine, but to me a case is quite a lot of beer to expect from non-drinkers.

Next time I would also try to find out from the wife what they need as well.

To me from the way your post reads it kinda looks like your DH asked the guy, and this is what the guy friend wants to stock his house for a weekend of partying. I am saying this based on personal experience.

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id be irked if they know you dont drink beer.....

we dont drink beer and our friends know that.... if they were asking about alcohol id be more inclined to say im bringing Smirnoff or mikes lemonade

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DH and I don't drink and have a dry house, so that would bother me too, especially if the hosts knew you don't drink. After I saw this earlier today I asked a few family members who have been sober for a while and they both told me that they wouldn't be able to do it, they worry that just the act of purchasing beer would open the gates to bad behavior for them.

As to it being the same as bringing salads, I don't see that at all. I've never heard of someone engaging in reckless behavior after OD'ing on potato salad.

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I read all of the other posts and can see all points, but to determine if it's petty II think it really depends on how it was asked, etc. As far as your DH and you not drinking beer and them asking you, I agree with a PP that said it's not about you guys you're bringing something to a party and maybe that's what they really need at this point. However, if someone asked my husband, a recovering alcoholic, to bring beer, than YES we'd be irked.

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I would have just bough the beer and probably a wine or something that I would drink too.

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I'd never ask my friend who's vegetarian to bring some hamburgers to a party I was hosting. So, I'd probably not ask my friend who I know doesn't drink beer to bring beer to my party.

That said, I don't think it's THAT big of a deal. Just bring the beer and have fun.

Re: This might be petty- thoughts please

Were you mad at the hosts or at DH for what he said?