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mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)
Member since 5/05 6683 total posts
Name:
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Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
We are getting invited to a lot of b-day parties for DS and I have a dd who is almost 3. I am finding it hard to find sitters to watch her for me for all these parties. I actually had to pay my neighbors daughter today so I could take DS to one of these parties. My question is, do any of you bring your younger children to these parties? What is the proper etiquette for this? I don't want to be the mom that always wants to bring the sibling because I know how $$$ these parties can be per kid and if everyone did it, it wouldn't be fair. DH works long hours in the city and isn't around and my MIL lives on Staten Island and my parents live about 30 minutes east of us. This whole b-day party thing is stressing me out!
Any advice from some BTDT moms would be great. TIA!
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Posted 10/21/10 7:25 PM  |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I don't bring the other, we usually have to skip those parties.
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| Posted 10/21/10 7:51 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I have noticed that the majority of people don't bring a little sibling UNLESS the sibling is really just an infant in the car seat (not participating or eating).
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| Posted 10/21/10 7:57 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I don't bring. I have my dad watch the other or they just don't go. I am lucky now in that my son is 6, so if he's invited, I can usually just drop him and get him when it's over. For my 4 year old, I find a sitter for DS.
I got stuck very last minute last year when a sitter canceled!! I had no choice but to bring my then 3 year old. I asked the mom if I could leave my son (then 5) because I had no one to watch the 3 year old, and she made a huge fuss that I stay with her and let her join the party! I felt sooo bad! It wasn't my intent at all.
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| Posted 10/21/10 7:59 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I only have one DC...but Id say not to bring the other sibling. Ill be honest...I had a cooking party for DD last year..it was pretty pricy per person. One of the moms of the classmate DD invited..brought an older sibling to the party. I was pi$$ed..
because...a. DD was clear she only wanted girls at the party...the woman brought her son with her! and b... I had personalized aprons made for the kids...and none of this son she brought ...and she just sat him down at the table and let him start cooking anyway without even asking me if it was Ok that she brought him or anything.
I just found it to be veru rude.
I think if you aree friendly with the mother who is hosting the party its OK to ask if you can bring your other child..otherwise, if your DH or another family member (that you dont have to pay) isnt around to help, Id probably skip the party.
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| Posted 10/21/10 8:51 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Definitely no siblings should be brought to parties. How about carpooling?
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| Posted 10/21/10 8:56 PM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I completely understand: when I've hosted a party and I pay per child and/or sometimes the space is small it's not ideal to have siblings there. As far as parties that my DDs have been invited too, the sibling was always welcome, no one ever hesitated if I mentioned that I would have to bring them. BUT, I would not bring the sibling without asking first.
Your options:
get a sitter
ask the host if you can bring the sibling
drop child off at party (too young?)
don't go
Message edited 10/21/2010 8:59:45 PM.
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| Posted 10/21/10 8:59 PM |
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mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)
Member since 5/05 6683 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Thanks for all the responses. My intention wasn't to bring her to any parties. I will do my best not to bring her to any, it just so overwhelming. DS is in kindergarten so I am not used to all these parties. I don't feel like paying a sitter all the time and I have few "free" options but at the same time I don't want DS to miss out on the parties and have to go to class the next day and hear all about them  At the parties we have been to I have noticed that people have brought older/younger siblings, which left me  because I am stressing about finding a sitter.
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| Posted 10/21/10 9:21 PM |
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mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)
Member since 5/05 6683 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by twicethefun
Definitely no siblings should be brought to parties. How about carpooling?
I was thinking about that but as of now I am not really close to any of the mom's in the class so that really isn't an option for me right now.
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| Posted 10/21/10 9:22 PM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
"IF" I am in a pinch and have to bring the "other" kid, I would never allow then to eat or participate. I would always choose to pay a babysitter rather than bring. I think it is rude.
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| Posted 10/21/10 10:47 PM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I am in a similar situation with this - for me it started last year in PreK. I have never brought my younger son unless he was invited. I have had a few times the peolple tell me bring Alex but unless I know the family well - I try not to unless it is a house party or something where 1 doesn't make a huge deal. We have skipped parties but typically have found a way for him to attend. Weekends at least Dh is home. But it is getting harder because of all the kindergarten events too - I want to attend since I am home but they all say no siblings! I have a few friends who have offered to help and trying to rotate that a little and use my parents/inlaws when I can (one lives in SI and the other side works and lives in Queens and doesn't drive). Car pooling helped in PreK but like you not too familiar with the moms yet for K. For now I am just trying to find options.
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| Posted 10/22/10 7:13 AM |
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HillandRon
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2922 total posts
Name:
Hillary
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I have some moms ask me to bring their younger sibling to Jacob's parties because they can't find a babysitter. What I did was call the place and ask them last minute and they usually do not charge for the child as long as they don't participate in the party..
I would call the mom and ask.. don't think it is a problem.
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| Posted 10/22/10 7:54 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Unless the invite specifically says "Siblings Welcome" - I leave the uninvited one home or I skip it. I do have some friends who make a point to call and say that Noah is welcome and I usually extend a welcome to some of the kids with younger sibs when I know the parents are in a spot.
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| Posted 10/22/10 8:47 AM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
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| Posted 10/22/10 9:23 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by justmefornow
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
I usually put the sibs name on the invitation so that everyone knows younger/older sibs are welcome, but I'd never want to put that additional expense on someone if they hadn't told me it was ok.
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| Posted 10/22/10 9:27 AM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by justmefornow
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
I think its OK to bring the sibling if you have to..but NOT for the sibling to participate (if its at a place where the host is paying per child not at someones house of course) ...read my first post above...the Mom didnt even ask me and just sat her son down to start cooking at the party
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| Posted 10/22/10 9:49 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by CathyB
Posted by justmefornow
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
I usually put the sibs name on the invitation so that everyone knows younger/older sibs are welcome, but I'd never want to put that additional expense on someone if they hadn't told me it was ok.
Totally agree. I often write "Siblings Welcome!". Sometimes if someone calls and says "Oh, I can't find a sitter.." I'll say "Bring them!" - at least that way I can have enough goodies for all the kids and not feel like cr*p because someone was left out.
ETA: I don't give butt about 'rude' - but as the hostess I would feel awful if I couldn't offer a little goodie bag or something to the additional child so a heads up is definitely appreciated.
Message edited 10/22/2010 10:41:10 AM.
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| Posted 10/22/10 10:38 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by rojerono
Posted by CathyB
Posted by justmefornow
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
I usually put the sibs name on the invitation so that everyone knows younger/older sibs are welcome, but I'd never want to put that additional expense on someone if they hadn't told me it was ok.
Totally agree. I often write "Siblings Welcome!". Sometimes if someone calls and says "Oh, I can't find a sitter.." I'll say "Bring them!" - at least that way I can have enough goodies for all the kids and not feel like cr*p because someone was left out.
ETA: I don't give butt about 'rude' - but as the hostess I would feel awful if I couldn't offer a little goodie bag or something to the additional child so a heads up is definitely appreciated.
ITA with this.
There are usually at least 1 no show at a party & I feel that there is always room for one more at a party I'm throwing.
I've had moms decline to have their child participate when offered, walk them around outside or bring an activity for their kid to do.
For me personally, I do leave the other one home - DH, my mom, my sister, whoever is available. If I'm in a complete bind, I will do a drop off at the birthday party & hang out with the other child outside.
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| Posted 10/22/10 11:21 AM |
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Kathy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/05 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
When RSVP'ing explain that you have no one for your other child and offer to pay the extra fee for the extra child.
Usually at any of the party places, it could be $12 and up for extra kids, so just showing up without offering is just rude.
I always bring them solo, but I have had parents ask and pay extra, I hate to ask but it adds up with extra kids if you weren't planning on them!!
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| Posted 10/22/10 2:12 PM |
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
My kids are 3 and 4. If the party is on a weekend then the other child stays home with either me or DH. If it is durning the week then I ask the host if it is OK for me to bring the sibling and ALWAYS offer to pay for that sibling.
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| Posted 10/22/10 3:49 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by justmefornow
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
When I have parties for my kids-I've really only had 1 party -siblings are always welcome.
To your point, I'd rather everyone come then DD's friends have to skip because of the sibling "rule". I would appreciate a head's up so I can make sure I have enough food, goody bags, etc.
As for other people's parties-so far it hasn't been an issue-DS is too small to participate in anything. As he gets older, I won't bring a sibling unless I am in a bind and ask and offer to pay.
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| Posted 10/22/10 3:59 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
Posted by justmefornow
I'm just curious for those that say it's an absolute "NO" and it's rude to bring siblings, if you were throwing a party for your DC would you rather that his/her friends NOT come or come with a sibling (granted the parent asked you if it's ok)?
In my situation, I have limited funds and do not want to pay for siblings. My DC's closest friends are welcome to bring their siblings, in fact they are usually invited to attend and their name is included on the invite. More than half of the children there barely talk to my ds, but they are in his class so I should pay for the sibling of the kid he barely talks to? I just think its out of control sometimes.
Once a sibling came to my son's party and the mom did not let her play so I would not have to pay. I felt bad for her and told her to go have some fun. Yes I paid for that sibling, and it was once. No big deal. But when certain parents continuously show up with a sibling I think its totally rude.
The only exception is when the party is in a public place like a rollerskating rink or WPFs and they can pay separately for sibling. Of course the sibling gets cake and food.
Message edited 10/22/2010 5:15:02 PM.
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| Posted 10/22/10 5:13 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
We have a party today and I always arrange for someone to watch my younger DD. If I got stuck I would call the host and say that I couldn't go due to babysitting issues and then it would be up to her if she would allow my younger DD to go or we miss the party.
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| Posted 10/23/10 9:38 AM |
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LisaI
Momma's Little Beans
Member since 1/06 3923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I only bring the other if it's insisted or my DH is out of town.
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| Posted 10/23/10 10:56 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Those with younger kids and Birthday Parties?
I generally leave the younger one home with DH.
One time, DH took both kids to a party for a child in DS1s class (I had a bridal shower that day) but I asked the host first when I RSVPd. If it was a problem, I would have declined the party altogether.
Another time, it was a good friend of mine. I had absolutely no intention of bringing DS2 but DH had JUST gotten home from China that morning and could hardly see straight, forget about watching a 2 year old! I called the host the morning of the party and asked if it was OK.
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| Posted 10/23/10 1:24 PM |
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