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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
We had one for my grandparents 50th.
I never did for my parents or in laws.
I would make sure you get on the same page. If you do 35 then do you have to do 40,45,50 etc. also what about milestone birthdays. This could get really expensive.
What about just a nice dinner with parents, kids and grandkids. A toast and even gift.
IMHO a several thousand dollar party for 35th anniversary isn't the norm and shouldn't be expected. I mean if you want to do it great but I can't imagine people are expecting an invite, kwim
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Posted 3/18/16 11:20 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
I agree with all of the PPs that said 35 is not really a milestone. For me the milestones are 5, 10, 25 & 50. I don't even think 40 is such a big thing but my father in law told us that everyone used to always do a big party for the 40th because usually at least one of the people died before making it to the 50th!
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| Posted 3/18/16 11:31 AM |
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PotofLuck06
Our Baby Boy Is Here!!!
Member since 11/06 13241 total posts
Name:
Betsy
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
My brothers and I threw my parents a 40th wedding anniversary, even found their old friends who attended their wedding and invited them. We held the party at a family's house, so all I had to do was arrange for food and decorations, so it wasn't that pricey and since it was over the summer, people could be inside and outside and kids could run around.
Collectively, it was a lot of fun and my parents were absolutely shocked and surprised! That was key since no one had ever been able to surprise her before.
We did this milestone because my parents married late in life and both had just recovered from severe illnesses. Their 50th is in 3 years, but in the last 10 years, they have lost a DIL and a son, so it won't have the same tune as the 40th did.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:39 PM |
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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
I'm not a fan of anniversary parties. Particularly if they are expected to be thrown by someone else or a surprise. No one knows what's really going on in marriage even if they been together a long time. To surprise them with a party and attention and people may be awkward if they are unhappy. I know many throw surprise parties and all is well but that's not always the case.
Also. I'm probably alone in this but.. Isn't the point of marriage to stay together? To celebrate yourselves is fine but when you expect others to acknowledge or throw a party, it's different.. And not really right IMO.
It sounds like u have a lot going on, OP.
I just think anniversaries are a private thing between the two people who said their vows. It's cool if the couple themselves wanna host something but again, expecting others to do it is not cool.
Message edited 3/18/2016 12:58:21 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:57 PM |
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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
Also you said that renting just a hall wouldn't fly and that they would expect you to go all out. I just think that's wrong. But that's my opinion.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:59 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
35 years? Nah lol id wait til 45 or 50.
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:11 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
i think it is a nice gesture, but you are right in the middle of starting up your life.
I would take them out to dinner instead or send them to a bed n breakfast for the weekend- it will be $500 tops!
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:39 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
Posted by Jacquelina
Posted by Mushesgirl
No one really did it in our family, however, we did throw my parents a 40th. It was the first milestone one we did, and it was partly due to my father having lung cancer. The party was in June and he passed that December, so that being said, it was nothing short of a miracle that we had ALL their family and friends at that party. He was relatively well too, we had no idea what was to come but in the back of my mind I knew there was a possibility it would be their last anniversary. So glad we did it.
Moral of the story: don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
So sorry for your loss! What a wonderful memory to have before his passing
Thank you we do cherish that day
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:40 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
My sisters and I threw a party four our parents' 30th anniversary. They were really surprised. We just went out to dinner on the other major ones. Then, for their 45th, they took the family to DR and for their 50th, they took us on a cruise. Not bad, it's their anniversary and their kids get the gift!
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:43 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
35 years is not a "celebratory" year IMO. Couple that with your financial situation and I think the choice is easy..............just wait. I'd do a 40 years celebration, that's more common, easier to find cards/decorations/gifts, and it gives you time to plan and save. I would absolutely hold off.
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:47 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
Posted by Momma2015
I know where you're coming from. 35 years might not be a "traditional" milestone anniversary, but it's not like you got the chance to throw a 25th or 30th. My parents 30th was this past year and since we were in the process of buying a house and TTC, we didn't really have the money to do anything either. Add in the fact that my brother and sister are much younger than me (8 and 9 years younger) and couldn't contribute and it just didn't work out. I was throwing around the idea in my head of doing something for their 35th in a few years as well. I don't think it's so outrageous. I might wait til their 40th though.
They aren't very common in my family either, but I like the idea of it. The past few years there's been a lot of sickness (cancer) and deaths in my family so the idea of seeing everyone to celebrate something happy is very appealing to me. If you guys can swing it and want to celebrate, I say go for it.
I agree with this.
No, 35th is not a "milestone" but for various reasons (including the same as the OP that we never did anything for the 25th) we are doing a big party for my parent's 35th this year. We are having it at a catering hall. I might have otherwise waited until their 40th or even 50th, but due to some issues in our family, this felt like a really good year to do it.
We will do something else for their 50th as well, but nothing in between then.
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:49 PM |
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SHOPAHOLIC
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1712 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
We just went to a 50th wedding anniversary at a hall.
The parents/guests of honor paid for the hall, then each set of children paid for something. One the DJ, One the favors, one the flowers, etc.
That way everyone contributed and helped plan it but didn't have all of the financial burden. It also helps that they have a bunch of kids who are all grown with grown children of their own and in good places financially.
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| Posted 3/18/16 2:21 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
I think it varies by family.
My parents wanted no part of retirement parties or birthday parties, so I wouldn't throw them an anniversary party, but I have friends that have done that for their parents.
I went to a few 50ths for some of my dad's family members--my in laws might expect one for theirs(in 2 years), but my I can't see my husband being into that & he is an only child.
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| Posted 3/18/16 2:40 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
Posted by MsSissy
Nobody in my family lasted long enougb for a milestone anniversary 
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| Posted 3/18/16 2:42 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
We would do the "big" ones: 25th, 50th and then in 10 year increments from there.
Instead of doing a big party, why don't you and your immediate family just go to a nice restaurant, like Prime or something, for a nice dinner?
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| Posted 3/18/16 2:58 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
Posted by FirstMate
We would do the "big" ones: 25th, 50th and then in 10 year increments from there.
Instead of doing a big party, why don't you and your immediate family just go to a nice restaurant, like Prime or something, for a nice dinner?
This is a great suggestion (I know a few others have also mentioned it as well). I think we might do a nice dinner out for the 35th and save the big party for the 40th.
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| Posted 3/18/16 3:03 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
My mom and uncle threw my grandparents a huge 40th wedding anniversary party. My grand parents sadly didn't make it to their 50th year my Grandpa died on their 49th wedding anniversary. My grandma always said she was so happy they got to celebrate their 40th in a big way. I plan to throw my parents a big 40th. I've been to a few anniversary parties. My Aunt and Uncle had a 30th party. I think if you want to throw the party you should. I really believe in celebrating every happy year!
Message edited 3/18/2016 5:03:47 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/16 5:03 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
We threw our parents a 41st anny party, random but the year before was crazy and didn't work, it was great and my brother and I were so glad to be able to that for them
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| Posted 3/18/16 5:20 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
IMO I would wait until the 40th.
My mom and aunt threw my grandparents a 50th anniversary party at a nice restaurant. They were both shocked and so appreciative.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:02 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
We threw my in laws a 40th anniversary party last year at a restaurant in Manhattan which is where they live ( family and close friends were invited). Dh's brothers pitched in but they are in their 20's and single so their contribution wasn't too great - we paid for most of it. I think my inlaws felt bad about it so they gave us a check for part of it a few weeks later. It wasn't necessarily done in the family but I think it's nice to celebrate milestones.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:15 PM |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
My brothers and I did a nice luncheon at a restaurant for my parents 50th with just immediate family. The bigger gift was that we hired a photographer to take family photos and pics of my parents...they really loved that.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:45 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
My parents 50th was last year and I planned the whole party with my mom. I would have been more then happy to pay for the whole thing, but my parents insisted on paying for most of it. They wound up paying for the reception and band. I paid for the invitations, flowers and photographer. My sister and I chipped in for the favors.
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| Posted 3/18/16 10:22 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
As far as how common it is.... I heard of 50th anniversary parties but nothing before that. A few people in my extended family had them- not at a hall with dancing though, but a nice restaurant.
I can't imagine too many people throwing their parents 25th anniversary parties..Even if the parents had these kids right away, that would make the oldest child 24 right? These days, 20 year olds and teens don't have the money to be throwing lavish celebrations at catering halls. So I definitely wouldn't feel bad that you didn't do anything then.
I'd do something for the 50th if you think that's what your parents would want.
Message edited 3/19/2016 6:59:52 PM.
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| Posted 3/19/16 6:58 PM |
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bella321
Blessed!
Member since 3/09 1952 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
I think it's fabulous if you want to throw your parents a party for their anniversary. Who cares what's the "norm"? It's your business, WKIM?
My dad died when I was a teenager, my parents never made it to 20th, 25th, 30th, 35th anniversaries so I think it's really important to celebrate a successful marriage. Congrats to them!
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| Posted 3/19/16 7:24 PM |
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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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Re: Throwing parents milestone anniversary parties
Do it now...we're never guaranteed tomorrow and if you want, do it at 40 too...we celebrate too little in life and put off get togethers b/c there's always something else that can be done with the $$
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| Posted 3/19/16 7:27 PM |
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