John Mayer has a warning to underage drinkers - like the ones busted at his recent Hershey, Pa., concert. "If I happen to see any young men passed out drunk," the Grammy-winner blogged yesterday, "you will come to with a face full of Sharpie and the sneaking suspicion that you've been teabagged by one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people of 2007." And we don't think he was talking about the great taste of Lipton's.

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Chris Tucker showed no mercy at a Malibu benefit for HollyRod Foundation. Helping Rodney and Holly Robinson Peete fight Parkinson's, the comic made Jim Carrey pay $30,000 to have dinner with him. Tucker also demanded that Eddie Murphy match his $100,000 donation - and Eddie did. Whatever his estranged babymama Melanie Brown says about him, Murphy considers himself generous. At Monday's premiere of "Who's Your Caddy," he confirmed that he bought the diamond ring current girlfriend Tracey Edmonds has been wearing. But People reports that he hasn't proposed. "If [it were] an engagement ring," he said, "it would be much bigger!"

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Kimora Lee Simmons looks great in red in Hamptons magazine, but she's not seeing red despite her split from her husband of seven years, Def Jam founder Russell. "Every day is not an ice cream sundae," she admits to the glossy. "But most days are." She's still seeing hunk Djimon Hounsou and is filming "Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane," a reality show for the Style network. But deep inside, she says, "I'm always a mom, and I'm always a mogul."

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Kathy Griffin may not be on "The View," but she's sure on view in the next issue of Steppin' Out mag, on stands Wednesday. "Barbara Walters is a very complicated woman," she tells editor Chaunce Hayden. "I like her, but she doesn't get me at all. ... Barbara recently told me, 'They think that we're very good together.' I answered, 'Yeah, Barbara - we're like a very f-ed up buddy cop movie.'?" But it looks like Kathy doesn't need to worry about on-air chemistry - we hear "The View" job is going to Whoopi Goldberg, with an announcement coming next week.


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It looks like Tyra has banked herself a banker.

The model-turned-TV-host certainly doesn't need a man for his money - but it doesn't hurt.

We hear Banks is friendly with John Utendahl of Wall Street's Utendahl Capital Partners. Because when you're a handsome, 6-foot-3 investment banker, why wouldn't you be dating a supermodel?

We hear the relationship is part of the reason "The Tyra Banks Show" has announced plans to move from Los Angeles to New York City.

Reps for Banks and the banker did not return calls yesterday.

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Julia Roberts was spotted ducking paparazzi yesterday morning by sneaking into a Gramercy CVS and exiting via a different door to get to her limo waiting a few blocks away.

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We hear that "45 and Single" Scott Baio tried to arrange an invitation to the after-party for Anne Hathaway's latest film, "Becoming Jane," Tuesday at the Bowery Hotel, but that organizers didn't think he was the right celeb to have at the Piaget-sponsored event.

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Britney Spears retreated to L.A.'s Il Sole with her new assistant for lobster risotto Monday night, the day before stories of her latest kooky behavior broke. Our spy says Rihanna dined on Chilean sea bass at a nearby table with a male friend.

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CALL it the curse of Dori Cooperman. The Zelig-like socialite has been partners in partying with Tara Reid, then Lizzie Grubman - and, most recently, busted-again Lindsay Lohan.

Reid, the promising "American Pie" actress who regularly hung out with Cooperman, had her career collapse in a spiral of public tipsiness, bad plastic surgery and an even worse reality show, "Tara-dise," which had cameras following her around the world as she embarrassed herself.

But it turns out Reid was the lucky one - at least she avoided arrest, jail and rehab.

Cooperman - whose father, Edwin Cooperman, was chairman of Travelers Bank Group and pays her bills - lives on East 64th Street. But she seems to gravitate to hard-partying power girls headed for a fall.

Grubman did two months behind bars after mowing down 16 people outside a Southampton nightclub in 2001. Cooperman, who was in Grubman's Mercedes SUV during the carnage, had to testify before the grand jury that indicted the p.r. princess.

Now married with an adorable 7-month-old son, Harry, Grubman hasn't been hitting the party scene lately. So Cooperman latched onto Lohan when the two met in the Promises rehab spa after the Memorial Day weekend.

Cooperman extended her stay at Promises so she could stay close to Lohan. "She loves the attention," a source told us at the time.

Lohan partied nonstop with Cooperman after they got out of rehab two weeks ago, but they weren't together when the starlet was arrested a second time this week on suspicion of DWI and cocaine possession.

Cooperman told Page Six yesterday, "At this point in my life, I'm not associating with people who are not sober . . . As soon as I was able to confirm that Miss Lohan was not sober, I immediately terminated my communication."

Cooperman ended up in rehab after being busted herself last April for stealing a neighbor's $4,300 check and depositing it. If she stays out of trouble for two years, prosecutors will dismiss criminal charges. She also has to do 100 hours of community service.

But David Spivak, whose check was swiped by Cooperman, scoffed, "If that was you or I, our *** would be in jail."

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KELLY Rowland once wanted to look white. "It's said that brown-skinned girls don't sell magazines and that's so sad," the sexy songbird tells next month's Essence. "I remember wishing I was more fair-skinned, but Tina Knowles, Beyoncé's mom, would say, 'Don't you know how beautiful you are?' She made me come into my brown beauty. I didn't get it, but now I do. I am chocolate and beautiful and loving it."

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We Hear

THAT Brad Pitt is reuniting with Gwyneth Paltrow for "Dirty Tricks," a political drama on the aftermath of the Watergate scandal with Annette Bening, Meryl Streep and Sharon Stone.



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Bad box office numbers can be a real bummer. According to a source close to Angelina Jolie, 32, the actress is “devastated” by the audience rejection of her movie A Mighty Heart (it has earned just $9 million).

“She poured her heart into the story and can’t believe people don’t understand how important it is,” the insider tells Us Weekly in this week's issue.

Helping to lighten her mood: a vacation in France with Brad Pitt, 43, and their four kids.

The whole clan is staying at a $13,818-a-week rental manor in Marthon, which boasts a swimming pool and private theater.

(Family friend Mariane Pearl, whom Jolie played in the film, was seen joining them.)

Says an insider, “Brad and Angelina wanted to get away from everything, and France is a great place to do that.”