Huge WWYD? (super long) Expecting DS2, moving OOS

I would move after the baby is born. Yes you rely on your parents but what about support at night that is from your dh

If you are not up to going down to look - I would look into a community with activities. Some have some daycare programs. Also I would look for houses that have cozy coupes and tricycles out - so they have kids similar in age.

Re: *Tiny update* Huge WWYD? (super long) Expecting DS2, moving OOS

Update:
A lot of what everyone said made a lot of sense. I underestimated how difficult it would be for DS to be without his daddy. And was probably being selfish. We are a family and I guess that we should move down together. I would never ask DH not to take the job. I am terrified but that's why DH and I work so well together, we're different - where I am afraid he pushes us forward and vice versa. We've been married 10+years. I told DH we'd go down together after the birth and it made him happy. Still, I'm not sure how this will move will work logistically. He *may* have to head down to FL before DS2 is born. We (DS and I) just cannot go before. I had too many complications with my last delivery and during the postpartum period to be with a new OB and no help. It was that bad, medically, last time. I asked him to ask to be permitted to work out of NY for 3-4 weeks after DS2 is born in addition to the 2 weeks he'd be taking off for paternity. This would made DS2 about 5-6 weeks old and we'd leave together. He's not sure. I don't know what he wants

*Tiny update* Huge WWYD? (super long) Expecting DS2, moving OOS

I completely feel for you, I am a SAHM with twin toddlers. It is really, really rough. I am having a horrible day so I am completely empathizing with how you feel. The only person I see is my sister once or twice a week for a couple of hours and my mom 6 hours on fridays. None of my friends have young children. The only contact I have with other moms is on here. I have tried making new friends, but have not been able to actually get together with anyone yet.

Reading your update, I think you are doing the right thing.

As for him extending his time in NY, hopefully that will work out. Maybe he can split the difference and just take another week or 10 days on top of the 2 weeks paternity? I can not imagine the stress of a new born baby, selling your home, packing up and moving OOS. That's pretty intense. That would be harder for me to deal with than actually living in another state. I would be begging my family to move to FL with us. Can you have any of them come down with you for a couple of weeks?

Once you are officially in FL I hope you can meet new people.... join a moms group maybe? Sign up for classes?

*Tiny update* Huge WWYD? (super long) Expecting DS2, moving OOS

Fathers are eligible for leave under FMLA--can he take that to get a bit more time off? He doesnt have to be out the full 12 weeks, but at least its something.
He should be eligible since this is a new position in the same company, it isn't like he's going to a new job, correct?

Re: *Tiny update* Huge WWYD? (super long) Expecting DS2, moving OOS

Having stayed home with a toddler and a newborn I can completely understand your feelings. It makes perfect sense that you don't want to be alone in a new place with nobody around. I think your plan of staying in NY for a few months so that your parents can help out sounds reasonable. Within those first few months would your DH be able to fly up on weekends? What is his new schedule going to be. With a big promotion will he be working longer hours anyway?

If that wouldn't be an option would it be possible for your Dad to come down to FL with you for a few weeks. To help your son get adjusted? and to help out with the new baby?

Seems like an awful situation to be in. I hope that you can agree to something that makes you both happy.

*Tiny update* Huge WWYD? (super long) Expecting DS2, moving OOS

I would start now and look for meetup groups and message boards like this one for the area where you will be in Florida, to make some connections before you go.