Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Alex is at the stage where she gets VERY upset is someone (i.e. her neighbor - Abigail) starts using her toys. Not all her toys, just what she's using at the moment.

Case in point - Alex has a little pink car, and a little doll stroller (no doll - she puts sparky in the stroller ). Yesterday she was using the stroller when Abigail came out to play. Abigail wanted to use the stroller but Alex said "No, Abby pink car" So, clearly she's willing to share, but as long as she dictates what toy is being used by whom

As you can guess, Abigail wasn't too pleased about being told what toy to use, and was adamant on using the stroller. She grabbed onto it, and Alex started having a fit.

How would you handle this situation?

Most days, if Alex is in a decent mood, not hungry or cranky, I'll walk away for a moment with Alex, kneel down and tell her that the nice thing to do is share with our friends, and it's ok because we can play with the toy when the other children go home - most days she's VERY receptive to our little "talk", will turn around and hand over the toy to the kid who wants to play with it.

But, on the days that she isn't receptive, and starts having a fit, and pushes the other kid, how would you handle it?

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Well, she's at that age!
I really have no advice as I go through this daily with mine, but we practice the art of taking turns. They have become pretty okay with that -
For example we have only 1 swing outside and of course they both want to swing at the same time, which is impossible - so we do a couple of minutes each. They started off screaming until it was their turn but once they realized that they were actually going to get a turn they started to wait a little more patiently.

We do this with pretty much everything cuz they always want what the other has (even if there is 2!).

Maybe they are taking to it a little better cuz they are together all the time but its been working for us.

I think once they realized that the whole taking turns really worked they have fewer tantrums.

BUT, they are at the age where they don't want to share with anyone. So what Alex is doing is perfectly normal and she will come through it as she comes through everything!

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Posted by Tracey

Well, she's at that age!
I really have no advice as I go through this daily with mine, but we practice the art of taking turns. They have become pretty okay with that -
For example we have only 1 swing outside and of course they both want to swing at the same time, which is impossible - so we do a couple of minutes each. They started off screaming until it was their turn but once they realized that they were actually going to get a turn they started to wait a little more patiently.

We do this with pretty much everything cuz they always want what the other has (even if there is 2!).

Maybe they are taking to it a little better cuz they are together all the time but its been working for us.

I think once they realized that the whole taking turns really worked they have fewer tantrums.

BUT, they are at the age where they don't want to share with anyone. So what Alex is doing is perfectly normal and she will come through it as she comes through everything!

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

In that situation I would tell Abigail that Alex is playing with that toy now and your turn is next. Then tell Alex that she can play with it for two more minutes then she has to share it with Abigail. If she refuses to share it, then the toy goes away and they both have to pick something esle to play with.

Usually that works since they realize that taking turns is better than losing the toy all together.

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Talia is also very defensive with her toys. She always wants what someone else is playing with.

I usually start by letting them work it out - but if I see Talia is being a bully then I explain to her that so and so wants to use that toy - i offer her a different one and then explain they need to share.

If it becomes an issue and nothing works it out then I take it away from both of them. Usually they just move on to something else.

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Oh, I remember being so embarrassed when Michael used to FREAK OUT if someone was using his toy or took something from him. He was so horrible with sharing I was mortified, BUT all of a sudden he approached two (maybe a little after) and now he shares EVERYTHING!!! Mostly with Mommy and Daddy now - toys, food, his juice - it's all "I share with you", but then we have to share too, lol! Anyway, I think it's another lesson we just have to teach our children. This one took time for us, but he's so good now with other kids! Whew!

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

I have the same issue. My daughter is a "snatcher" too which mortifies me. If she wants something back she just takes it and leaves the other child crying I feel so bad. So at home I am emphasizing "we share." Sometimes when she wants something from ME I try to reinforce that I am sharing with her and if she doesn't give it back to me then I take it away, and of course, she has a fit but then I say to her do you want me to share? And of course she says yes we share. I'm at my wits end too but this has been working lately lol.

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"

I put the toy in time out if they can not share it and are fighting over it. If they flip when I do it, they are ignored as long as they don't hit one another. Once they hit the other they go into time out.

Re: Toddler moms - let's talk about "sharing"