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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Touchy subject but I am curious
At what age if any do you think it is " too late" for a woman to decide or try to have children?
Do you feel it is wrong or selfish of an older woman to have a child?
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Posted 10/10/06 9:17 PM  |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
It is indeed a touchy subject.
I do believe nobody has the right to tell someone whether they are too young or too old to have children.
I am "older" than the average to TTC but it is my right to want children. Nobody knows why I did not try until now and don't feel my DH and I should have to justify ourselves.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:21 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
yes it's a touchy subject. If I had it my way, I would have been married 10 years ago and would have started my family soon after that. But, as fate would have it, I didn't meet my DH until I was almost 33 and we didn't get married until I was almost 34. So, really, I didn't have much of a choice but to be an "older" mom.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:31 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by smdl
It is indeed a touchy subject.
I do believe nobody has the right to tell someone whether they are too young or too old to have children.
I am "older" than the average to TTC but it is my right to want children. Nobody knows why I did not try until now and don't feel my DH and I should have to justify ourselves.
i really don't htink the question was one of telling people what they can and cannot do..
it is just a personal opinion that i think all of us may think about..
an age that we each know..well i would NOT have kids after this point..
but i am sure that could be subject to change
For me..
I would NEVER have a kid when i am 40 and above..
Message edited 10/10/2006 9:34:19 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:33 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by Redhead
Posted by smdl
It is indeed a touchy subject.
I do believe nobody has the right to tell someone whether they are too young or too old to have children.
I am "older" than the average to TTC but it is my right to want children. Nobody knows why I did not try until now and don't feel my DH and I should have to justify ourselves.
i really don't htink the question was one of telling people what they can and cannot do..
it is just a personal opinion that i think all of us may think about..
an age that we each know..well i would NOT have kids after this point..
but i am sure that could be subject to change
For me..
I would NEVER have a kid when i am 40 and above..
Ditto. I am the child of older parents. By today's standards, they are not old, but to have had a child at 38 in 1970, it was. I will more than likely have two children after I turn 37. I am healthier than my mother was at the same age. However, I seriously doubt I would have a child past 40. I simply know too much based on the line of work I am in. There are dangers to the mother and risks for the child - risks I am not willing to take.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:38 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by Goldi0218
I simply know too much based on the line of work I am in. There are dangers to the mother and risks for the child - risks I am not willing to take.
DIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOO
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:42 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by Redhead
Posted by smdl
It is indeed a touchy subject.
I do believe nobody has the right to tell someone whether they are too young or too old to have children.
I am "older" than the average to TTC but it is my right to want children. Nobody knows why I did not try until now and don't feel my DH and I should have to justify ourselves.
i really don't htink the question was one of telling people what they can and cannot do..
it is just a personal opinion that i think all of us may think about..
an age that we each know..well i would NOT have kids after this point..
but i am sure that could be subject to change
For me..
I would NEVER have a kid when i am 40 and above..
I was making a general comment. Most people who think you are too old to have kids, would generally either make a comment about it or talk about it behind your back.
In my case, if my ex husband had not been a total psycho, trying to recoup from a nasty divorce, found the man of my dream before my mid 30's..... I would have several kids already.
But you are right, each of us have their own "time limit". Yours may be different than mine or someone else. That does not mean either one of us is "wrong". I don't think I would try after 42 or 43.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:43 PM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
I'm not into telling someone when to have a kid or when not to. I look at some of these celeb 40 yr olds having kids, like Brooke Shields and Madonna, and think they're in better physical and financial shape then me so why not? I do consider the fact they'll be in their 60's when the kids are 20, that seems kinda late, but quality of life is what counts. Who's to say they don't live until 100. I do think folks like Rod Stewart are a little old to be having babies...60+ is a bit old, even for a Dad.
Message edited 10/12/2006 4:16:30 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:45 PM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name:
Blessed
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
This is how I see it.....
If my mother in law would have listened to her doctor when he told her to abort because she was 44 years old than I would not be here right now happily married to my husband.
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| Posted 10/10/06 10:11 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by LovingLife
This is how I see it.....
If my mother in law would have listened to her doctor when he told her to abort because she was 44 years old than I would not be here right now happily married to my husband.
i kinda look at that situation soooo completely differently than what I perceived the topic to be about..
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| Posted 10/10/06 10:13 PM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name:
Blessed
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by Redhead
Posted by LovingLife
This is how I see it.....
If my mother in law would have listened to her doctor when he told her to abort because she was 44 years old than I would not be here right now happily married to my husband.
i kinda look at that situation soooo completely differently than what I perceived the topic to be about..
I'm sorry if that came out wrong...my mother in law tells the story just the way I said it and even jokes that her husband said how she got pregnant because he was 56 years old.
So what I meant is that back then the doctors thought she was too old and she refused to listen to his advice and thankfully she did....
therefore.....to answer the qurestion directly I think that if you feel healthy enough to carry a child no matter the age you should do what pleases you.
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| Posted 10/10/06 11:03 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
gotcha 
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| Posted 10/10/06 11:04 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by MrsRbk
yes it's a touchy subject. If I had it my way, I would have been married 10 years ago and would have started my family soon after that. But, as fate would have it, I didn't meet my DH until I was almost 33 and we didn't get married until I was almost 34. So, really, I didn't have much of a choice but to be an "older" mom.
OMG I do NOT consider 34 old at all!!!! 
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| Posted 10/10/06 11:06 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by Redhead
Posted by smdl
It is indeed a touchy subject.
I do believe nobody has the right to tell someone whether they are too young or too old to have children.
I am "older" than the average to TTC but it is my right to want children. Nobody knows why I did not try until now and don't feel my DH and I should have to justify ourselves.
i really don't htink the question was one of telling people what they can and cannot do..
it is just a personal opinion that i think all of us may think about..
an age that we each know..well i would NOT have kids after this point..
but i am sure that could be subject to change
For me..
I would NEVER have a kid when i am 40 and above..
Thanks red! Thats exactly what I mean.
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| Posted 10/10/06 11:07 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
To answer my own question 40 would be the cut off point for me as well.
ETA - But I would like to and probably will be done having children before I turn 30.
Message edited 10/12/2006 3:40:13 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/06 11:08 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
I would get nervous as I approached 40, but I would continue to try if I didn't have a child...it's the most important thing to me in my life (someday having a child).
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:03 AM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
It's a personal decision, but you have modern science saying that it can happen if you really want it later on in life.
Me for one have no choice but to be an older mom. I'm 37 and didn't get married until two years ago. I wish things were different.
It's hard to really say about being selfish, because a lot of women put career first (me) and chose that over relationships and family for a while. Is that being selfish? To want a career for yourself? I wouldn't change things.
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:34 AM |
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LisaI
Momma's Little Beans
Member since 1/06 3923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Not a touchy subject. I think after 40 would be enough for 'me' personally. I can't say what the age limit for someone else would be. Every woman's body and situation is different. I could never judge that for someone else. I know plenty of amazing woman that have had children well into their 40's and are amazing parents. Age doesn't matter, it's how you handle things.
eta: no, I don't think it's selfish at all to have a child at any agec. what's selfish is neglecting the child and not being a responsible parent when it happens.
Message edited 10/11/2006 8:41:29 AM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:40 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Posted by MABLE03
Posted by MrsRbk
yes it's a touchy subject. If I had it my way, I would have been married 10 years ago and would have started my family soon after that. But, as fate would have it, I didn't meet my DH until I was almost 33 and we didn't get married until I was almost 34. So, really, I didn't have much of a choice but to be an "older" mom.
OMG I do NOT consider 34 old at all!!!!
Thanks! Actually, 36 is just around the corner for me now! But to really answer your question, I always used to say that 35 would be my cut off, then when it seemed there were no prospects when I hit 30 for a husband, I pushed that age cutoff to 40. Now that 40 is only 4 years away.... I realize it's really not THAT old (considering DH is already 41) So, I would probably push my cutoff age to 43 perhaps 44
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:49 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
I would not cut myself off ever I don't think. Thts the way I feel now anyway-I have not had any children and I am 32. No one knows what can happen so I don't put those kinds of expectations on myself. Whatever happens...happens.
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:51 AM |
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Sweetpea130000
My Love!
Member since 5/05 2375 total posts
Name:
Shandra
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
I don't think i would try after 40, but that all depends on what happens in my life, if I have 2 children by then, then no i will not try, it I don't, maybe I will, though since I am 32, I hopefully will have my 2 children by then
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:03 AM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
For me, I wouldn't try to have children once I pass age 40. That would be the cutoff age for me. My grandmother had my mom when she was 40 so I think that is why that age sticks in my head(my mom was the last of 6 kids and kind of a surprise baby). For anyone else, I think it depends on the situation. If a person is mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially sound, I think any age is a good age. I think a bigger problem is kids who have kids. JMHO.
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:15 AM |
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Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
my SIL had her first baby at 44 - and he was big and healthy!
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:56 AM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
I don't have a cut off.
My MIL had my beautiful 7 yr old SIL when she was 43. She was a blessing (after 5 boys) and a HUGE oops.
You just never know what God has planned for you.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:06 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Touchy subject but I am curious
Wasn't there someone on the news or something who recently got pregnant in her 60's?
To me that is a little selfish....
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| Posted 10/11/06 2:59 PM |
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