TTC is an Individual process

Please lets all keep in mind that we do what is best for ourselves. It is not anyone's place to decide what is the right or wrong thing to do. Some people are comfortable taking things as they come. Not being super analytical. On the other hand(me included) some people like to know everything they can about their bodies, methods for TTC and any other thing they feel they should know about. Stressful to me is not knowing about my body or not knowing every way I can to have a healthy pregnancy. Just my 2 cents. Good luck everyone(whatever your method)

Message edited 10/3/2006 12:39:22 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Very well said. I could not agree more... this is a personal, individual process....

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Posted by melijane

Please lets all keep in mind that we do what is best for ourselves. It is not anyone's place to decide what is the right or wrong thing to do. Some people are comfortable taking things as they come. Not being super analytical. On the other hand(me included) some people like to know everything they can about their bodies, methods for TTC and any other thing they feel they should know about. Stressful to me is not knowing about my body or not knowing every way I can to have a healthy pregnancy. Just my 2 cents. Good luck everyone(whatever your method)

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Although I do agree it is an individual process, I also think the advice of the BTDT gals can be invaluable (isn't that the point of these boards??). Some of us have been on this board awhile (actively TTC or not) and see time after time how worked up some people get and how devastated they are when they get a BFN.

Although knowledge is certainly power, I truly believe you get to the point that you make yourself crazy and stressed out. I think EVERYONE would agree that stress & TTC is not a good mix.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

I am sorry...but i think we are all here with the same objective...TO GET PG.

NO?

I had been a lurker for a while..then posted a bit and post more now..

I have been extremely happy with all the advice, knowledge and support that i have gotten thus far..

Am i going to follow every little word wrote here...NO.

I am going to do what is best for me

AND I HOPE that everyone does the same...

I think we are all looking out for each other and only have each others best intrests at heart...

SO everyone once in a while people will give advice, an objective opinion that we may not see for ourselves..

If you don't like it...oh well, it was the thought that counted..

If you do an benefit...AWESOME...the best of outcomes..

NOBODY HERE, at least i have yet to see, is making ANY DECISIONS FOR ANYONE

and i think that is just silly for anyone to say...
jmo

Message edited 10/3/2006 6:07:54 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Posted by Redhead

I am sorry...but it hink we are all here with the same objective...TO GET PG.

NO?

I had been a lurker for a while..then posted a bit and post more now..

I have been extremely happy with all the advice, knowledge and support that i have gotten thus far..

Am i going to follow every little word wrote here...NO.

I am going to do what is best for me...

AND I HOPE that everyone does the same...

I think we are all looking out for each other and only have each others best intrests at heart...

SO evryone once in a while people will give advice, an objective opinion that we may not see for ourselves..

If you don't like it...oh well, it was the thought that counted..

If you do an benefit...AWESOME...the best of outcomes..

NOBODY HERE, at least i have yet to see, is making ANY DECISIONS FOR ANYONE HERE

and i think that is just silly for anyone to say...
jmo

Message edited 10/3/2006 6:08:39 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

I think that the boards will always be split into various categories of how much we know or want to know about our cycles and TTC. In order for me to reduce TTC anxiety, I try to stay away from the posts involving certain methods of maximizing conception. It simply is not for me at this point. When I have read them, I have sometimes felt that I am not doing enough. But as much as I may want a child, I have to give myself the chance to conceive as naturally as possible upon direction of my doctor. He knows me, my personality, my history, my cycle and my body best.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

well, i obviously agree with you. i'm going to do my own thing no matter what....and, personally, if someone or a group of people tells me not to do something then it just gives me more ammo to do it my way anyway.

i think these boards are very educational and very helpful and each person takes the info and does what they wish with it.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Re: TTC is an Individual process

I'm a little confused on where this came from, but please I would hope you make your own decisions and follow your doctors advice, gut and so forth.

I am a BTDT mom of 1 and 2 x pregnancy with a severe pregnancy disorder leading to my miscarriage. I come here for advice,opinions and support or other BTDT woman.

All of which have been extremely comforting and helpful. If you see threads that feel preachy, I wouldnt take it that way, everyone is here to get pregnant and help those of us that so desperetly want a or another child.

good luck to you and I hope you find some of the information on these boards helpful. Remember it is a TTC board which means support and helpful advice to TTC.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

I didn''t take the OP as saying that people are allowing others to make decisions for them.

I took it that we must all be accepting that we each take the TTC route in our own unique way.

Nobody likes to be told that their way is "wrong"- and we all need to remember that nobody's way IS wrong if they feel it's right for them. For example...Johnsae uses 2 sites to chart, Goldi doesn't use any; I pill-pop Mucinex to "make water", Redhead uses shots o' Tussin. Nuthin' wrong in any of those scenarios.

I think regardless of HOW we all go about the TTC thing- we are ALL just a little stressed, regardless of our method of madness. No matter how much we chart, check CM, time BD, etc- nobody is TRULY in control of this situation, so it's difficult when you feel like you're "way" is being criticized.

Just think how those who are having difficulties TTC hate to be told they just need to "relax"....

Just my take on the OP....

Amy

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Re: TTC is an Individual process

i guess when i read statements like this:

Message edited 10/3/2006 8:36:09 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

i have definitely read some threads on her where posters will question what someone is doing or not doing.

but its not just here and pg, its everywhere. people judge and there is not much you can do. you have to do what is best for you, not what someone thinks you should do.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Message edited 10/3/2006 8:48:17 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Considering it's very difficult to convey "true" meaning on a messageboard- you can easily see how feelings can be hurt- or feathers ruffled.

No one has said you intended to sound judgemental. You asked how THIS post applied to anything- I offered what I thought was the reason. Someone thought her way was being criticized.

You also say you look at this board differently than the other boards- that's your view, maybe others don't.

I didn't see this as drama- just a PSA that although we may not see eye to eye on one anothers methods, we should all just be supportive of one another. Maybe you see it differently, and this post was meant to spark drama- so we'll have to agree to disagree.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

i guess i didn't think anyone needed a PSA...

i think that it is blanantly obvious that we all are different..

i mean come on now..

and i agree...not everyone is going to see this board the way i do..
and i guess i feel that is unfortunate

i can see how sensitivity is high...but there are going to be as much as a variety of opinoins here as there are on all the other boards..

I would hope people should all feel confident in themselves and what they have chosen to do with their ttc..

and i just hope that we are not here to sit in judgement...

but to help one another in anyway we can

ETA....And just in case anyone thought what i have said on these threads has been in judgement..

it wasn't

just a FYI

Message edited 10/3/2006 9:15:38 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

At the end of the day, I believe we all have the best of intentions towards one another. That being said, if we see someone VERY stressed out, I think it is only natural to offer suggestions as to how to help out and alleviate some of that stress.

I don't see why that is so bad - or why it warranted a post like this being started.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Maybe the original poster felt she needed to voice a PSA- thats HER prerogative. Perhaps SHE saw something that she felt warranted it.

Maybe you don't agree, but everyone is entitiled to their own opinions and thoughts and to post as such. She made no personal attacks to anyone, just a friendly reminder. And I think it was a wonderful message- lets all respect each others methods, views, opinions- whatever. When someone asks for advice or opinions, feel free to give them. If they're just looking for support, offer it.

I don't think the OP was meant to stir up drama.... so I'll again, agree to disagree with you on this and with that, I step away from the thread.....

Amy

Re: TTC is an Individual process

yes i do agree in that i do not see that the OP was looking for any drama

YES we do all have our own opinions..
as i stated mine aobut this topic..

but do DISGREE in that i feel that certain statements were unnecessary

anyway...

carry on

Message edited 10/3/2006 9:42:22 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Correct me if I am wrong, but I what I think Red was trying to say is that it is inconceivable that someone, especially here, in our LIF TTC community, would be so callous as to judge and verbalize (actually write in this case) anyone's methods of TTC as right or wrong.

Having said that, it leaves people to wonder where the implications of the original post came from. Right vs. wrong doesn't really come into play here. Personally, I have never read comments that judge or imply that someone is doing something wrong.

IMO I think that the choice of words in the OP started us all thinking. I dont think any harm was meant.

Message edited 10/3/2006 10:05:46 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Message edited 10/3/2006 10:22:29 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

I have to say that much like Red I too thought this board was free of judgement. I would like to hope that this board (like others such as the Infertility board) would be 1000% drama free. Leave that for other boards. But again, I can only hope.

And the OP didn't write back, so I can't assume what she meant. I too thought it correlated to jonhsae's post about charting on 2 sites but didn't want to make that assumption because I thought if that was the case, the PSA was like a scolding from a mother...and again, who are we to judge or say anything?

I don't know. This left me with a kind of aftertaste.

Edited...because I left a few words out!

Message edited 10/3/2006 11:52:16 PM.

Re: TTC is an Individual process

Whoa! Apparently I need to come on here at night. My post was osmewhat based on Johnsae's post but others I have seen like it. I have gone through a long road here. I have seen people many times questioning why one would do something or not or that being on top of your body and its signals will :stress you out" I was pointing out the fact that while Person A may think keeping track of temps, charting, OPK's etc is stressful to Person B this could eliminate stress.

For any that think I posted this to start drama than you obviously have not read my other posts on here. I constantly give advice. I have a lot of knowledge because that is the type of person I am. Sorry to any I offended but I can't say I won't post an unsolicited opinion again since this is a public chat board Thanks Poruss for seeing my point and explaining it for me very well. I do not come on at night. GL and

Oh and now I have to go into a meeting so I prob. won't be back for a while

Message edited 10/4/2006 8:56:40 AM.