Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Ugh. I don't know if this is something that I should be concerned about or not..

Twice I have picked up DS from school and observed therapists basically yelling at students.
Once was when I was passing a bus and I saw one of the therapists struggling to get a child into the bus and then as I was passing the bus she was yelling at him " I SAID SIT DOWN!! DOWN!!!!!". And this was a 4 year old ASD student.

The other time was yesterday. I was standing outside the classroom because I was a couple minutes early for pickup and I could hear a therapist in the bathroom with a student. This particular student had just mastered the potty right around Christmas. The bathroom is right outside the classroom and very echo-ey. I could hear that the child was dawdling somewhat and the therapist was getting flustered. She got angry after about a minute and yelled "A-----, PICK UP YOUR PANTS! NOW!". And the kid was overwhelmed. She started to tantrum. This happens to DS. He is trying to do something, can't finish, I push him to finish and he is pushed into a tantrum, very predictable behavior. This therapist basically pushed her out of the bathroom and across the hall to get her coat -all while she's screaming- to go get on the bus. I wanted to scoop her up and calm her down.

I want to write the program directors an e-mail about these but I don't want to be implicated as the observer if they bring it to their attention because both of these therapists do substitute for my DS who his regulars are out sick.

I know working with children with Autism is stressful. of all people, I get it. I really do. and each kid does respond differently to different people but I can think of 5 different ways both of the situations could have been handled if the therapists just kept their cool. It bothers me emensely to think of ANYONE yelling at my DS like that.

Ugh- sorry to dump this. I guess I just sort of needed to get it out. Anyone observe anything similar at your kids schools?

Message edited 2/9/2012 7:46:17 PM.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

WOW. Nope never ever witnessed that. I don't know what to think but my little guys school on the other hand drives me mad with there "redirection" policy. They don't believe in "no" or even saying somethings wrong. Last week he literarly was ripping artwork off the wall when I was there and the teacher just kept saying ohh look over here.
So I don't know what's right but I can say (at least with my own) sometimes I need to yell or be forceful to get my point across otherwise they'll just keep doing it- issues or not.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

it depends on the student.. you don't know whether or not it is behavior that happens all the time and what is "allowed"

i have seen it many times, and i do NOT have a problem with it.

totally normal...i am with my DSs PTA so i am in his school daily and i get to see a lot more than a parent usually does.

it would NOT bother me one bit, it would actually bother me, more if someone was to call and complain that a therapists was being to rough with my child (meaning what you saw and you didn't approve) and the therapist got in trouble so they had to modify and then my DS regressed.

KWIM?

if it were your child and you didn't like it then complain, if there was physical abuse (meaning hitting a child, not carrying or restraining a child with force) then complain, but otherwise, if it isn't your child stay out of it, because you don't know what works and what doesn't work for this child.

ETA: there are two teachers i know personally that parents fight to have their children in their class, because they take NO sh*t from their students. parents LOVE LOVE these 2 teachers.

Message edited 2/9/2012 8:02:12 PM.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

No. I would send that e-mail. I would ask that they never sub for my child also. I'm sure you have that right.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

I would complain. If it turns out that is the approach the parent's are okay with, then so be it. I don't agree with yelling at the kids. Special needs or not. I don't care if the teacher takes no shit from the students. There is a difference in taking no shit, and yelling at the kids. I have been around a lot of families that have a child with autism, and I have yet to meet a parent who is OKAY with their kid being yelled at.

The sad thing is, there are many miserable people out there working with special needs kids (and kids in general) who have no business being in the field.

Message edited 2/10/2012 8:53:31 AM.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Posted by BargainMama

I would complain. If it turns out that is the approach the parent's are okay with, then so be it. I don't agree with yelling at the kids. Special needs or not. I don't care if the teacher takes no shit from the students. There is a difference in taking no shit, and yelling at the kids. I have been around a lot of families that have a child with autism, and I have yet to meet a parent who is OKAY with their kid being yelled at.

The sad thing is, there are many miserable people out there working with special needs kids (and kids in general) who have no business being in the field.

Posted by AJandCJsMommy



if it were your child and you didn't like it then complain, if there was physical abuse (meaning hitting a child, not carrying or restraining a child with force) then complain, but otherwise, if it isn't your child stay out of it, because you don't know what works and what doesn't work for this child.

This I do NOT agree with at all. Kids are verbally abused everyday. So parents should mind their own business when they see something inappropriate because it's a child with special needs? Those kids can't typically speak for themselves. This just makes me sad

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Posted by BargainMama

I would complain. If it turns out that is the approach the parent's are okay with, then so be it. I don't agree with yelling at the kids. Special needs or not. I don't care if the teacher takes no shit from the students. There is a difference in taking no shit, and yelling at the kids. I have been around a lot of families that have a child with autism, and I have yet to meet a parent who is OKAY with their kid being yelled at.

The sad thing is, there are many miserable people out there working with special needs kids (and kids in general) who have no business being in the field.

Posted by AJandCJsMommy



if it were your child and you didn't like it then complain, if there was physical abuse (meaning hitting a child, not carrying or restraining a child with force) then complain, but otherwise, if it isn't your child stay out of it, because you don't know what works and what doesn't work for this child.

This I do NOT agree with at all. Kids are verbally abused everyday. So parents should mind their own business when they see something inappropriate because it's a child with special needs? Those kids can't typically speak for themselves. This just makes me sad

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Posted by BargainMama

I would complain. If it turns out that is the approach the parent's are okay with, then so be it. I don't agree with yelling at the kids. Special needs or not. I don't care if the teacher takes no shit from the students. There is a difference in taking no shit, and yelling at the kids. I have been around a lot of families that have a child with autism, and I have yet to meet a parent who is OKAY with their kid being yelled at.

The sad thing is, there are many miserable people out there working with special needs kids (and kids in general) who have no business being in the field.

Posted by AJandCJsMommy



if it were your child and you didn't like it then complain, if there was physical abuse (meaning hitting a child, not carrying or restraining a child with force) then complain, but otherwise, if it isn't your child stay out of it, because you don't know what works and what doesn't work for this child.

This I do NOT agree with at all. Kids are verbally abused everyday. So parents should mind their own business when they see something inappropriate because it's a child with special needs? Those kids can't typically speak for themselves. This just makes me sad

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

this doesn't sound like verbal abuse at all. but again i would be pissed to high holy hell if someone reported one of my sons therapists for doing their job and they got in trouble for it.

again, YOU don't know the situation, YOU don't know why they were being yelled at, YOU don't know is that is part of how the kids is taught, so PLEASE as a parent who has a behavioral child, MYOB, because again i would be PIS$ED to HIGH HOLY He LL if someone reported someone for doing their job.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

I hate to say this (I'm a parent of an ASD daughter and I'm also an teacher's assistant at a special needs preschool)-A LOT of times the staff working with ASD kids tend to be very loud. Some of them think that the louder they are, the better. I'm come from the notion that these kids are not hearing impaired and therefore, speak in a normal tone. But I'm also a parent who knows it's not necessary to yell.
It could also be possible that the child was having a behavior. It's easy to lose your cool in those types of scenarios. Kids bite, elope, hit, spit, etc.
I'm not defending the actions by the therapists, etc. but if you didn't witness the whole scenario from start to finish, you really don't know what the full story is.
I don't think I'd report it, honestly, unless I saw signs of physical abuse, unnecessary force, etc.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

i came back to add also, what you may think is yelling could be a therapist talking very firmly to a child.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Sadly, I work with a few teachers who yell at kids like that. I saw a teacher once yell in a child's face who was 6 years old, non-verbal, with very low cognitive functioning. I was so upset-like this child doesn't have hardly any receptive language and she can't comprehend what is happening to her. I know administration sees it, and I don't understand why they don't stop it.

I teach 1st and 2nd grade ASD and ED kids and I have to say that some of my ED kids only respond to a more strict approach. I do raise my voice sometimes at those kids in certain situations-like if I turn around and they have their hand up to hit someone, I might yell their name-to get their attention and stop them from hurting someone or themselves, but I try to only raise my voice like that in an emergency situation. I don't yell at my ASD kids, because their behaviors are part of their disability and yelling at a child for a manifestation of their disability is frankly abuse.

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Re: Uncomfortable with some things I observe at school.....

Thank you for all the responses.

This has really stuck with me and I can't rationalize not saying something to the director. I'm going to send her s quick message tonight.

Thanks again. I appreciate the responses.