Unpopular opinions you have

I have noticed recently (mostly on these boards), that I have some fairly unpopular opinions

For example:
1. I think that if someone is having a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) wedding, that a gift should be given regardless of the number of marriages it is. If you attend a wedding, you bring a gift.

2. If I am invited out to a birthday dinner, I expect to pay for my meal and any drinks. A birthday PARTY on the other hand, the host pays.

3. Also, if there is a group of "friends" or even family members, not ALL need to be invited to each and every single outing or event. I think that as grown ups, feeling "left out" is a choice. Not everyone needs to be included in everything.

4. I also think that parents need to stop helicoptering their children and let them make mistakes and screw up every once in awhile.... it is how people learn. Let them get into arguments with their friends. Let them be disappointed sometimes.

5. You should RSVP to everything you are invited to and if you do not RSVP, you should not show up at the event.

I make no apologies for my opinions.
What "unpopular" opinions do you have?

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

I actually agree with all your unpopular opinions. Lol

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

I agree with all of the OP's unpopular opinions, although nothing is black and white, and I guess in certain contexts, or with more info, I would feel differently.

The only thing I can think of that may be unpopular or against the norm: I lot of my contemporaries - or the older people I work with - seem to think it is the norm/expected that they pay for their children's college education. And if school loans need to be taken, it's expected that the parents pay the student loans for the adult child who has then graduated college.

I don't think that is or should be the norm. If someone can afford to do it, then I guess it's a nice thing to do for your child (especially if they are a good student who appreciates the gift of the education they are getting and makes the most of it).

But I know people who do this for whom it is a huge financial burden, and they put their own retirement at risk and/or move heaven and earth to make this happen. And their kids go to expensive private schools or go to college locally yet choose to room and board there, which is really a luxury, at a huge cost.

I had a full college scholarship to a local college and I took it, and then I went away to an expensive law school, but that was my choice and I took loans that I then paid for myself. I would not have expected my parents to shoulder that burden. They supported me in many ways and helped me be successful, but I just don't think paying for kids college and law school should be the expected norm. And if parents are financially contributing, at that age/point, I would expect the child to be contributing in some way, too (by having a job, or taking out partial student loans and repaying them, or whatever).

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

except for the first, these are mostly aimed towards the non-LIF world

* bring a gift to a wedding, no matter what number it is. bring a gift you can afford, not cover your plate.

* if you're getting married, don't tell people that you want cash and gift cards as gifts. people should give you what they want to give you... even if it's your 10th blender, return it to BBB for cash and be done with it, but don't be tacky and tell people what to give you.

* i hate cash bars. i know booze is expensive, but a host should provide SOME booze... even if it's only table wine.

* if you do not RSVP, i will consider it a no and i will not put you on my guest list.

* children need to do things for themselves. you are doing no one any favors when you do everything for your children, ESPECIALLY adult children.

* celebrations are not an emergency. if you can't afford christmas gifts for your kids, don't borrow from your 401k to pay for it.

* early is on time, on time is late... especially for work, interviews, and appointments.

* men should not "help" their SOs with housework or "babysit" their own kids!!!! i hate when women say, "i'm so lucky. My man always HELPS me with the housework." no!!

* i am not a "girl." women are not "girls." stop referring to women as children.

then there's this one lol

* talking about a surprise birthday party for almost two years is not a bad thing. i have no one at home to share the struggles with lol, so you all are my "victims."

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Shower gifts that are requested to be wrapped in clear or not wrapped.

OK, so I paid for something that the recipient picked out. I had to have it sent to my house (or bring it to my house), lug it to the shower (especially large baby shower items) and then she brings it home.

If it's all about being practical, I would just as soon pick it off the registry and have it shipped to her house.

Unpopular opinions you have

I’m not a fan of wrapping presents in cellophane for showers.

Millennials are the way they are (and I’m on the lowest end of the millennial spectrum) because of how they were raised. None of those kids asked for everyone to get a trophy. So instead of everyone saying “damn millenials” they should be saying “damn those people who raised millennials.”

FTR, my parents were awesome and made me work for everything I had. Aside from the crippling anxiety I turned out pretty well.

Unpopular opinions you have

I agree with you 100% OP!

Unpopular opinions you have

My unpopular opinion is that I don't think couples should live together without being married. In general, living together is usually a temporary state. At some point, one of you is going to say "Where is this going?" So you'll either end up getting married or break up. And then, if you break up, one of you is homeless! Yes, there are couples who happily live together long term. But it isn't for everyone.

Few people ever agree with me.

Unpopular opinions you have

In related news:

https://www.scarymommy.com/stop-complaining-multiple-baby-showers/

I have some opinions about the woman who wrote this:

"Baby showers are just one of the ways our first pregnancies are a magical time."

The only thing magical about my first/last pregnancy was zofran. Go eff yourself, you gift grabby monster lady.

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

I dont see the need for pregnancy photo shoots

I think gender reveal parties are silly

I think in only rare cases can straight men and women be “friends”

Message edited 11/4/2018 7:27:28 AM.

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

- i don't have to think your kids are cute or even entertain them.

- i don't agree with separate bank accounts for married couples.

- i think you should change your last name after getting married (whether the husband changes it to the wife's or the wife changes it to the husband's) to be a united family

Unpopular opinions you have

I agree with a lot of what you said.

I’ll add that I do not feel the need to tip people for doing their job. If someone goes above and beyond, I can see tipping but for doing what is expected of them - no.

Unpopular opinions you have

I think gender reveal parties are obnoxious.

I also think showers are unnecessary. Not actual showers, just the gift giving ones.

Unpopular opinions you have

I agree with everything the OP said!

My unpopular opinion is "blood is NOT thicker than water"... I don't agree with any of the posts on here that insist that the whole family be included in every thing (holidays, birthday parties, etc). When DD is older, i don't intend on inviting the 5 siblings + spouses to her birthday parties every year if they don't have kids close in age to attend the party. It's gonna be school friends and that's that. I was raised in a family where my parent's best friends were closer to me than my aunts/uncles were. And i think that's ok because we were a very happy family who had the BEST family vacations because we were all surrounded by friends, rather than suffer with that one uncle nobody likes LOL.. also, last christmas DH and I decided to say eff you to both sides of the family and kept christmas eve to ourselves. And it was the best holiday ever. We drove around to see the christmas lights around town, went out to an early dinner, cuddled in our PJs and watched christmas movies, and made cookies for santa. It was the best :) We are doing it again this year and don't care who we offend lol end rant!

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Baby showers are boring and I usually decline invites to them unless I’m very close with the guest of honor.

Gender reveal parties are obnoxious and an obvious gift grab even if people say not to bring one. Also why are we celebrating a gender that the child may not identify with? Why are we celebrating this at all?

Farmhouse sinks and shiplap are indicative of a lack of design creativity and look weird in houses that are not 100+ years old and on a farm.

“Live, Laugh, Love” signs belong in the trash.

Billy Joel and Sting can take a hike. Ugh, they’re the worst.

Cilantro is the herb of the devil.

Unpopular opinions you have

I agree with you 100%! Lots of times I find myself typing out a post that I know I’ll be in the minority, but then I delete it bc it’s just not worth the hassle on here lol

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Message edited 11/5/2018 8:54:33 AM.

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

OMG thank god I am not the only one... I was beginning to feel like the worlds biggest b!tch

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

I feel like I am the unpopular for thinking that if you have any reason you want to celebrate - have a party! You are having your 8th baby? Have your 8th baby shower? Getting married for the 4th time? Have a big white wedding! Just got a puppy? Have a puppy party. Who the hell cares? Life is too short to complain about this stuff. The people in my real life that are constantly complaining about this stuff are pretty much miserable all the time. Let it go. If you don't want to bring a gift to the party, just get a card and write a nice note congratulating the person and call it a day. Who cares???? I just don't understand how people have the energy to get upset at other people wanting to celebrate happy occasions. You know what gets me upset? Having to go to a funeral.... Not getting invited to a party!

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Unpopular opinions you have

I think going out to breakfast is a waste of calories and money. Breakfast places have become super popular but I would never go to one of those places on purpose--unless that's when everyone can get together. I'd way rather splurge on a nice lunch or dinner. PS Why are pancakes $15????

Re: Unpopular opinions you have

Message edited 11/5/2018 1:33:14 PM.