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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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uodate 11/14
Yesterday I went to a lab near me instead of my dr in Brooklyn.
The lab is running behind and they won't have results until Monday. Hell. I am in hell. I wanted the BFN confirmed dpo could stop the meds in good conscience. Now I can't stop.
Why? Why can't the ending of this be easier?
Update 11/14
Beta was negative as I expected. If I haven't responded to your fm or message please know I appreciate them so much!!!!
Time to dig deep and see what I can handle.
Ill talk with the doctor tomorrow and see what her thoughts are.
I so appreciate you all!!!
Message edited 11/14/2016 5:24:21 PM.
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Posted 11/11/16 2:51 PM  |
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IUIGirl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/14 852 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
I'm so sorry  
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| Posted 11/11/16 3:27 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
I'm so sorry.
Time is standing still for you. I get it.
Message edited 11/11/2016 3:34:23 PM.
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| Posted 11/11/16 3:34 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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As if life wasn't tough enough...
I'm so incredibly sorry.
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| Posted 11/11/16 9:15 PM |
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
I'm so sorry! Prayers prayers prayers for good results on Monday! 
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| Posted 11/12/16 6:24 AM |
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BabyBearA
LIF Adult
Member since 7/11 1254 total posts
Name:
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As if life wasn't tough enough...
I'm so sorry. That is complete torture! All the best to you xo
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| Posted 11/12/16 10:32 AM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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As if life wasn't tough enough...
sorry you're going through this, can you go to your RE today have blood drawn so this can be over.
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| Posted 11/12/16 11:33 AM |
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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
Posted by hmm
sorry you're going through this, can you go to your RE today have blood drawn so this can be over.
Took my last test and it's negative. The blood test is irrelevant at this point.
I don't see myself going through adoption and I already did part of the foster to adopt process before I realized it wasn't for me.
Main decision is to use my last embryo or just move on in a child free life.
Calling my mom was hard. Just sucks.
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| Posted 11/12/16 11:56 AM |
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
Posted by aim
Posted by hmm
sorry you're going through this, can you go to your RE today have blood drawn so this can be over.
Took my last test and it's negative. The blood test is irrelevant at this point.
I don't see myself going through adoption and I already did part of the foster to adopt process before I realized it wasn't for me.
Main decision is to use my last embryo or just move on in a child free life.
Calling my mom was hard. Just sucks.
I am so so sorry. I pray that whatever decision you make, you will be at peace. I am so sorry hun. My heart is breaking for you again.
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| Posted 11/12/16 12:47 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
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| Posted 11/12/16 1:21 PM |
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TooSoontoTell
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 501 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
I'm so sorry.
Your last embryo, that was PGS tested right?
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| Posted 11/12/16 6:34 PM |
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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
Posted by TooSoontoTell
I'm so sorry.
Your last embryo, that was PGS tested right?
Yes. I don't know if I can take another failed try. Breaks my heart every time. And I'm so tired of not living in joy. This embie doesn't have a great rating either. A blastocyst but with a CC rating I believe.
I don't know. I'll get through the finality of the bfn phone call tomorrow. Then I'll dig deep.
I have just enough coverage left for a FET. Not sure I have enough left of my heart to hear another bfn.
Message edited 11/13/2016 9:02:54 AM.
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| Posted 11/13/16 8:06 AM |
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TooSoontoTell
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 501 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
Posted by aim
Posted by TooSoontoTell
I'm so sorry.
Your last embryo, that was PGS tested right?
Yes. I don't know if I can take another failed try. Breaks my heart every time. And I'm so tired of not living in joy. This embie doesn't have a great rating either. A blastocyst but with a CC rating I believe.
I don't know. I'll get through the finality of the bfn phone call tomorrow. Then I'll dig deep.
I have just enough coverage left for a FET. Not sure I have enough left of my heart to hear another bfn.
I do understand that. I always felt better to look back knowing I did all I could, to be at peace. It's up to you of course, but with coverage for one more FET and having one more embyro, to me that would be a tiny light I had left in the darkness.
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| Posted 11/13/16 11:46 AM |
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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
Posted by TooSoontoTell
Posted by aim
Posted by TooSoontoTell
I'm so sorry.
Your last embryo, that was PGS tested right?
Yes. I don't know if I can take another failed try. Breaks my heart every time. And I'm so tired of not living in joy. This embie doesn't have a great rating either. A blastocyst but with a CC rating I believe.
I don't know. I'll get through the finality of the bfn phone call tomorrow. Then I'll dig deep.
I have just enough coverage left for a FET. Not sure I have enough left of my heart to hear another bfn.
I do understand that. I always felt better to look back knowing I did all I could, to be at peace. It's up to you of course, but with coverage for one more FET and having one more embyro, to me that would be a tiny light I had left in the darkness.
Your words are kinder than you know.
I truly feel blessed with this board and all of you
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| Posted 11/13/16 2:21 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
For me too, it was I had to knew I did all I could before I closed the door. I had enough coverage for a 2nd cycle and was like well I might as well.
You're luckier than most that you have an embryo left over and coverage for a FET. look at it that way. I know its hard to see, but if that were me, that would be my last ditch attempt.
Right now we have open enrollment at work and a new service called Progeny which is an IVF service. It says it replaces our current aetna benefit. so right away I was like Ohhh...does this mean its new and b/c i've maxed out aetna I can start again?? No one at HR can give me a straight answer. But for that fleeting moment I was right back there thinking what if I could try again. and then I got my head back into reality.
Sending you hugs
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| Posted 11/13/16 5:23 PM |
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jus183
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/12 499 total posts
Name:
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As if life wasn't tough enough...
Give yourself time off. I'm sure you'll then feel like trying more. Now is not the time to decide because this is just depressing and so heartbreaking I always remember feeling like I don't think I can handle this anymore, I don't know if I even want to keep going. Then after some time I began to feel like I had to do everything I could otherwise I'd never be at peace with myself. But for now just allow yourself to grieve. I am so sorry this has happened to you, infertility is so heartbreaking.
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| Posted 11/14/16 9:02 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
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| Posted 11/14/16 10:04 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
I just wanted to say . I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.
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| Posted 11/14/16 10:40 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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As if life wasn't tough enough...
Sending prayers your way.
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| Posted 11/14/16 2:08 PM |
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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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Re: As if life wasn't tough enough...
Bump for update
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| Posted 11/14/16 5:22 PM |
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Re: uodate 11/14
So terribly sorry. Whatever decision you make I hope it brings you peace.
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| Posted 11/14/16 6:14 PM |
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JellyBear
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 260 total posts
Name:
Thinking positive thoughts!
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Re: uodate 11/14
So sorry! Infertility is such a *****!
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| Posted 11/14/16 10:04 PM |
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BabyBearA
LIF Adult
Member since 7/11 1254 total posts
Name:
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uodate 11/14
I'm so sorry! Take some time to yourself and do what will make you happy... I know at first it will be difficult but after you clear you head you will be able to make the right decision for yourself.
Message edited 11/15/2016 7:49:29 AM.
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| Posted 11/15/16 7:48 AM |
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APT910
Let It Be
Member since 2/11 5021 total posts
Name:
Ashley
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Re: uodate 11/14
I'm so, so sorry. I've been there, take some time for yourself and be kind to yourself.
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| Posted 11/15/16 11:10 AM |
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Re: uodate 11/14
I am so sorry 
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| Posted 11/15/16 2:27 PM |
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