UPDATE #2: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

I dropped DS off at daycare today. There was a new kid. Another mom came in with her DS. New kid came over and bit the other kid. Other kids mom was consoling her DS. Saying he didn't mean it, his teeth were bothering him.
Teacher didn't really discipline him. Just picked him up and put him in the highchair/table.
The teacher said to me that they moved him up from the infant room b/c he was biting the babies....
Do I wait for this kid to bite my son to say something? How do I handle this?
TIA,
Mom of a non-biter

PS. DS bit about 3 times, then he got smacked in the face, yelled at and it didn't happen again. The face smack was my fault - reflex - at the time I felt bad, but he doens't bite so I guess he learned.
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Update: So, I dropped DS off today, the little biter came over to see what DS was playing with and tried to grab DS hand and bite him. I pushed his mouth away and said NO BITE. The teacher just said, "I don't know why he does that" and picked him up.
Then the kid who got bit the other day came in. Mr. Biter went over to him and tried to bite his arm. His mom said its okay - he's just hungry and the teacher put him in the highchair table and gave him some cereal.

Do I say anything to the director now???
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So the biter is also a hair puller. I was putting DS stuff away. He was okay. The biter walks up to another kid (aka D) wraps his finger in her hair and starts yanking. She’s crying. Ms. T (another teacher filling in b/c DSs teacher was late) is giving someone else cookies. I grab him off her then hug her b/c she’s screaming. Ms. T comes over to biter and “calmly tells him no and removes him from the situation”. DS starts crying b/c I was giving attention to D. D’s mom was in the other room putting her stuff away (she moved up but her teacher was there yet). I told mom to leave b/c she was okay. Then Ms T tells me again that biter is also a biter and they had to move him up from the infant room b/c the babies were defenseless against him. This is the 3rd teacher that has said something to me about him.
I did see the director today – she asked me if I spoke to DH. I told her yes. She said they shadowed him yesterday and there were no more incidents. So, what, this kid needs his own teacher? How does that show him what he’s doing is wrong if he doesn’t have the chance to do it and get in trouble?
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DH talked to the director yesterday - said they would shadow him.
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Message edited 8/27/2009 8:33:24 AM.

Re: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

That's tough. I think a lot of kids bite though. I would discuss it with the teachers and ask them to discuss it with the parents maybe. I think they need a plan of a course of action to take when he does bite.

No one likes to get bit!

Re: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

Chelsea was bit several times by the same boy last year. After the 3rd time I was very upset and spoke to the director.

They did come up with a plan of action for the little boy. They kept a pacifier in his mouth and anytime he went near Chelsea they moved him away. Had this happened in the older rooms he would have been expelled at some point but because it was an infant room the school felt he was just learning.

They spoke to the parents who were going though a divorce etc and felt he was responding to that. Hopefully this year it won't happen again.

Re: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

A lot of kids do bite, and some child dev. experts think it's actually scarier for the biter than the kid being bitten since they are often experiencing strong emotions and can only express them through biting. How they know who it's scarier for, I don't know.

I would talk to the daycare about biters though and how they handle this.

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

Updated in first post - more opinions please...not its effecting my child.

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

I would say something to the director. I know I wouldn't want to wait until he broke skin and hurt my kid. Honestly IMO he should be aske to leave. They can't keep making excuses as to why he bites. hungry, sad, BS!

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

I would. It seems as if the staff should do a little more about this, I'm not saying yell at him or humiliate him in front of the other kids, but at least separate him, tell him we do not bite, something. It's for his own good as well as the other children--no one will want to play with him and he won't understand why.

I'm surprised his mother is so casual about it.

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

Oh okay, I saw the line about his mother saying he is hungry and thought she was there.

But again, it seems the school is too casual also. Honestly, it doesn't help you, but I kind of feel sorry for the kid that no one is drawing boundaries. Talk to the director.

Message edited 8/26/2009 8:51:50 AM.

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

I agree....It is now time to go to the director.

It sounds like such a short time span that this child tried to bite two children. I can only imagine what he does when there are no parents around watching.

Every child should have boundaries drawn, and they are setting up an unsafe environment by not letting this child know where the boundaries lie.

Go to the director. He/She should be able to set some sort of guidelines for how to handle a child who continually bites.

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

I can see both points since my child has bitten other kids at school. Besides me feeling so bad for the other kid and upset with my child, it is so embarassing even though alot of kids do it. I was very on top of it and since this happened in camp and they had young CIT's I asked for someone to sorta shadow DD to make sure that she wasn't given the opportunity to bite. I know they couldn't watch her all the time, but it did help. I would speak to the director and see if they could do something like that.

How old is the biter? I know since my DD was on the older side (2 1/2), we made a sticker chart and when she didn't bite, she would get stickers or a prize at the end of the week. So that might be helpful to suggest.

Also, it could also be because he's new. DD did this 2 times in the first few weeks and cried everyday when I dropped her off. By the next few weeks she felt much more comfortable, was happy in camp and miracuslously, the biting stopped.

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

Talk to the Director about having a shadow put in there until he grows out of this phase, which is completely normal. Most day cares will have biters at some point. They are so young the only thing the teacher's can do is remove him from the situation. They should also be giving all the attention to the child that was bitten.
Good Luck!

Re: UPDATED: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

They really need to keep on top of this child and watch him when he is around other children. My DS (11 months) is a serial biter, bites anyone near him. thankgod he is not in daycare or he would have been expelled already. so he is biting adults, but one day he bit his 2 year old cousin and there were teethmarks on her hand There is no reason for it, he just does it I guess it makes his teething feel better. It's so embarrasing as a parent when your child bites another.

Re: UPDATE #2: The new kid @ Daycare is a biter

Now the biter is also a hair puller....