UPDATE: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

There is a boy around 2yo in DD's class at daycare who is always hurting the other children. I'm really concerned because he seems to do it in a malicious way i.e.: He will lock eyes with another kid and just go charging at them and hit/kick/push/tackle/etc.

Just this morning when I dropped DD off he was literally hitting a new little girl in the face with a crayon! She went running to the teacher crying and the teacher didn't even see him do it.

So I put DD's bag in her little cubby and then I take DD to put her lunch in the fridge in the kitchen and then back to the classroom. When I am writing DD's name and check-in time on the sheet the teacher comes over and mentions that she filled it in for me. As I am looking at her I see this little boy over her should and he is running at this younger gentle little boy and basically knocked him down and tackled him. The little boy started to cry so hard and these big tears were coming down I told the teacher the name of the boy who did it and she tried to put him in timeout but he basically spazzed out screaming and crying and threw himself down kicking on the floor so the teacher just picked up the poor little guy who was just run over and she consoled him.

I felt terrible leaving DD there and was really worried about this kid hurting her - he actually bit her arm last month and he also bit another little boy in the face about two weeks after he bit DD.

The director was bringing some of the kids to school this AM when this went down otherwise I would have said something to her.

Do you think this kid's parents have any idea what is happening at daycare? Or is he getting a great daily report sent home even though he is hurting all of these other children?

This stinks

UPDATE:

So I sent an email to the director and said the following:

Hi X,

I wanted to let you know that it is becoming more and more common that I see Z acting out in an aggressive way in the morning when I drop DD off. I don't think that it has anything to do with the supervision because it happens when there are two teachers and only a few kids.

I would realistically say that four of the five mornings that I drop DD off at daycare I see Z intentionally hurt another student in the class. I have seen him punch, kick, push, hit with his hands, hit with a toy, back a child up against the wall, get up close to someone's face and scream at the top of his lungs, and this morning he literally tackled a child who was playing alone innocently. The teacher today tried to discipline Z by telling him that he needed to take a time out, but Z threw himself down on the ground and began screaming and crying and kicking so the teacher left him to console the little boy that was hurt. I know that these are very common behaviors for kids this age, but it appears to be done in a malicious way versus getting in one another's way or trying to play with the same toy. I have seen Z lock eyes with another child and he just goes charging at them.

To be perfectly honest, I felt uncomfortable leaving DD in her class today for fear of what Z might do...when I walked in to the room Z hit a little girl that is new in the face with a crayon and she went crying to the teacher and then when I left the room maybe 2 minutes later the teacher was consoling the little boy that Z had just knocked down and tackled.

I'm really not sure what the answer is but I feel like something needs to change. I know that DD is afraid of Z and tries to avoid him in the morning because he is so physically aggressive toward her and the other kids in the class. At what point will DD or Z transition in to the older room? Maybe this is something that should happen sooner rather than later? Is Z's daily report indicating any of this bad behavior? I know that Z has bitten DD and another little boy in the class - are Z's parents aware of these incidents? Are we the only parents that are showing concern over this child?

I truly fear for DD's safety when Zis nearby and I am hoping that we can work quickly to resolve this.

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks,

DD's Mom

So she responded back to my email about an hour later asking if I could come in to discuss with her. We talked about scheduling and I said that I would come in this AM to speak to her.

So I spoke to her this AM and she said that they were completely aware of Z's behavior and they have tried several different methods to work with him, his parents are aware, etc. She said that she just hired a teacher that has experience with "children who have issues" as she put it and that he and a few other children would be moving in to a smaller more intimate classroom. She said that they were going to make the move on Monday but they didn't get a chance to but the transition started today so we should be seeing a lot less of Z in DD's classroom. She did say that Z would still be in DD's classroom occasionally since he needs a bit of integration and interaction but it would be significantly less than it is now.

So I guess I am happy with the outcome and I am hopeful that things will change.

Thanks for everyone's support!!

Message edited 11/11/2011 9:50:02 AM.

Re: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

depends on the daycare to be honest.. some report this to the parents and try and work with the parents and the child.. some dont have that policy.

Mine had that policy.. a little boy was HORRIBLE to all the kids.. they went thru a ton of steps to help and after the last resort, a shadow, didn't work..they had to askt he boy to leave the daycare.

Re: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

If you have a serious concern like this you NEED to go to the director. The teachers reaction makes it sound like she doesn't know what to do about this child's behavior and also makes me suspect the director has no idea. You owe it to your daughter to say something.

Re: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

the sad thing about this is that there is a good chance SOMETHING is going on in this little boy's life to cause him to be so agressive. of course there are times when it is entirely organic to the child but there is a good chance something in the home is being reflected in the child's behavior with other children.

I would say something, and also find out what your center's policy is. I would HATE it if my child was terrorizing or being terrorized and their policy was don't tell.

good luck. poor kids!

Re: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

Wow and that was only 2 things he did that you saw in what a matter of a few minutes?! I think you should say something.

Re: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

I think I am going to draft an email to the director, she is usually on top of everything so I'm hoping that she will be receptive.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Re: UPDATE: LONG: Experience with Physically Aggressive Child at Daycare?

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