Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

My brother and SIL made it Sunday night, effectively cutting off our whole weekend.

DH's birthday is Saturday. He has been working EVERY friggin weekend since Jan.

The one thing that we love, love, love is going to the beach.

That's what we do every memorial day weekend.

SIL called last Sun to say that she was having this party. We agreed bc at that point the weather looked crappy.

But now it looks like it will be nice on Sun & Mon.

We live in Queens, but we have our boat at the IL's in Oakdale, so we drive out to go to the beach and go to Fire Island.

Would I be the worse aunt in the world if I backed out last minute so that we could spend the weekend (and DH's birthday) in LI and at the beach?

FTR, SIL & brother live 5 blocks away from me and I see them at least 3-4 times a week.

I feel horrible, but we haven't enjoyed ourselves and relaxed as a family in months.

Update:

So, I explained the situation to my brother and SIL and they were not mad at all.

He said "just don't forget her present!"

So, all is well and I can enjoy my weekend guilt free and think of a special day for niece to make it up to her.

Message edited 5/26/2011 10:02:30 AM.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Personally I wouldn't back out last minute but that is because I hate when people do that to me. We get every weekend together as a family though. I may feel differently if DH never had off.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

ouch.. that's tough

You already said yes and if the weather had been bad you'd have gone. Which kinda makes you the fair weather auntie huh?

I don't know. Personally I would go to the party. But its tough if the hubby's been so busy etc. Still I think bad weather or not I would have said no the first time around because of my hubby's bday and the work thing.

sorry if im the bad guy for saying that.

I dont think you'd be the bad aunt but I know in my family there'd be some hurt/angry feelings about it.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Honestly I would ditch your brother and SIL and spend the time with your DH and family. Its not that you dont want to see your niece but like you said its memorial day weekend you want to spend time out on the boat especially because its going to be a beautiful weekend and your DH isnt working. My DH works every Sat so when hes off I want to spend it with him. You see your brother all the time. Dont feel bad! Enjoy the weekend with your family!!
I dont know how your family is but mine would totally understand. Especially since it was planned only a week in advance. I would not be upset if one of my sisters did this to me, I would miss them but totally understand!

Message edited 5/25/2011 4:51:30 PM.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Personally, I would not be upset if one of my siblings backed out of DD birthday so that they could have some "family" time. I missed my neices first birthday because we booked a trip. no one gave me any crap about it.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would be upset if someone did that to my child.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

If you had plans already, I think she'd understand because she was planning it last minute

But now...you said you'd come. I'd be ****** off if my sister bailed on my kid's birthday party to go to the beach or if I found out she was only coming because the weather looked bad.

How old is your niece?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Like you said, its also you DH's birthday and he's been working like a dog.

I think he to should be able to relax and enjoy his birthday.

Skip the party and drop gift off Monday/Tue

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

thanks, ladies.

I will drop off a present on Friday and I will make it up to her. Maybe I will take her out one day just the 2 of us.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

is it a family party or a kids party?
i prob would be offended if i were on the other side.esp if you use the weather excuse.
i wouldnt miss it sorry.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would ask your SIL if she could schedule the party for Saturday since it is a casual event. If she says no, then I think you need to deal and go. I am sorry at 10 years old I would be upset. If you said you already had plans I would not have minded - things happen - but since you said you could go already, to back out is not nice. You should have said no from the start. To me this is family politics. If your family(SIL) is laid back about these things then great. In my family that would not fly. You would become the black sheep.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I'd be pizzed! If the party is Sunday night, maybe go to the beach for the day and go to the party a little later.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Honestly, I would never do that. My children are very close with their cousins and, assuming your niece is close with your children I think it would really hurt her feelings and I would never do that. I mean what is your sister in law going to tell her - auntie and your cousins aren't coming now because it is nice out and they want to go to the beach? In my family we are always there for each others celebrations. Wouldn't you be upset if someone did that to you? Especially if it is just a family party. That said, maybe you can talk to your SIL now given the change of plans and they can do it on Friday or Monday instead so it gives you some family time instead. It would be a different story if you told her from the beginning but, I think now it would not be the right thing to do especially since it involves a child.

Message edited 5/25/2011 5:52:38 PM.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

If it was me I would go. Of course I would prefer to go to the beach but birthdays only come once a year.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

My brother would be pisssed if I did that to him. I would go.

But, I have to say, I really hate when people have bday, anniversary, they sky is blue parties on holidays like that. I just think its rude to others, since most others always have plans, ie: beach, vaca etc.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Well if one of my siblings missed my kids birthday party to go the beach...I would be ******.

SO my answer is yes.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would never do that and I would not be cool with someone doing that to me. Totally wrong, IMO.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Plenty of other beautiful weekends to come this summer, you niece only turns 10 one day a year.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would be really upset if one of my brother's did that to my child. Agree w/ the PP who said plenty of nice weekends but birthday parties and family gatherings don't happen all the time. I know I would feel my brother's family's absence if they bailed on my kid's day.