Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

See the thing is, to me, it's not "just going to the beach".

It's that DH has been working like a dog for months now, leaving me alone with the kids every weekend. I'm exhausted. He's exhausted. Neither of us have had fun or relaxed for months now bc of his work schedule.

And, it's HIS birthday too. I get that I shouldn't have committed to going to the party in the first place, but it was last minute, and we were both so deflated at the thought of having his one weekend off ruined by the weather that we were fine with the alternative plan of going to the party.

But in my mind, we both really need some family time together, a little break from everything. And you don't get that at family functions (at least not mine)

So, it's like a mini 3 day vacation, away from it all, which we both desparately need.

It's not like we can pick up and go to the beach the next nice weekend - his work schedule is nuts.

I love my niece, and I don't think she will be too upset. She will have all her other cousins there and I will make it up to her.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would call and explain the circumstances. If my sister bailed on me after committing, I would be very hurt. If she called and gave me your explanation, I would understand, since I am there myself with the being exhausted, needing a break, etc.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I think you need to look at the responses to your question. About 90% of the people who responded said they would be upset if a family member did that to them.

I get that it is also your DHs birthday. Its my birthday and my soon to be SIL is having her bridal shower the same day. She picked the day of the shower. She knew it was my birthday and the one day I asked her if she could not pick well before it was scheduled. We normally have a family party for birthdays. She could have picked another weekend. She did not. I have to deal with it. I have not said a word of my annoyance to her or anyone else.

I think you need to talk to your SIL. See what she says. If she says she would be upset, then you need to either do a day trip or be prepared for her being upset with you.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Can you call your SIL and explain the situation to her? Will she understand?

We never have time off together. My DH is only off Wednesdays, so I understand your wanting to get away while your able to.

Is it a party at their house?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by jambalady

Posted by DPerotti

I think you have made up your mind. Do what you want, in the end only you know how your family will feel/react.

I wouldn't do it but that's just me. You need to do what you think is right.

You're right. I guess I do have my mind made up.

I think I posted to see if it would sway my decision at all.

The fact that it hasn't makes me feel like DH & I need this weekend for ourselves.

are you mad you posted now?

Message edited 5/25/2011 9:10:37 PM.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would be really mad if my siblings did this to me. Especially if you said the only reason that you were coming is because you thought the weather would be bad. I would definitely not say that to your sister.

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Hmmm...even though I know she has all the right to be upset, I would probably go....I would do something special to make it up to her but I know I'd feel guilty. But from the way it sounds it sounds like you guys need this time together. This is why I *hate* when people plan b-day parties, weddings etc on holiday/3-day weekends! I wish for you that you hadn't said yes already

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

You only said yes due the weather looking crappy. If it were ME...I would be furious if you bailed because the weather turned nice.

Crappy weather=ok to go to party
Sunny day=bail on your niece who is old enough to know that you bailed

Family time is important...I get it. When we both worked we had little of it. BUT that being said I would never bail due to a weather change.


So to answer your question....if it were my kid....I would have the award printed and pasted to your front door

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

I would never do that and I would be completely PiZZed at my sister if she did! sorry Let us know what your SIL says...

Re: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

So, I explained the situation to my brother and SIL and they were not mad at all.

He said "just don't forget her present!"

So, all is well and I can enjoy my weekend guilt free and think of a special day for niece to make it up to her.

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Posted by jambalady

So, I explained the situation to my brother and SIL and they were not mad at all.

He said "just don't forget her present!"

So, all is well and I can enjoy my weekend guilt free and think of a special day for niece to make it up to her.

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Posted by jambalady

So, I explained the situation to my brother and SIL and they were not mad at all.

He said "just don't forget her present!"

So, all is well and I can enjoy my weekend guilt free and think of a special day for niece to make it up to her.

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Posted by jambalady

Update:

So, I explained the situation to my brother and SIL and they were not mad at all.

He said "just don't forget her present!"

So, all is well and I can enjoy my weekend guilt free and think of a special day for niece to make it up to her.

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Great update! whoohoo.. guilt free weekend!

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Given the circumstances (i.e. it was only planned a week ago, your DH never has off and it's also HIS birthday), I would have done the same thing and I would absolutely understand if my brother did this to me. In fact, my brother told me he'd be at DD's birthday and I told him since he never has a day off, I would totally understand if he wanted to skip it and that's even her first birthday. I also agree with others that have said it is to be expected when people plan things smack in the middle of a holiday weekend.

So glad it worked out. Enjoy

Message edited 5/26/2011 10:33:22 AM.

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Glad it worked out...enjoy your weekend!

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

as close as I am to my nieces (and I am extremely close to them) as someone who doesn't get a weekend with her husband from January through April I would totally bail on the party and get some good quality bonding time with my nuclear family.

I would plan something superfab for either the Friday before OR monday afternoon evening, and take the bulk of the weekend for ourselves.

anyone in my family who couldn't understand WHY I would jump at the opportunity to have a couple of solid days alone with my family would just have to deal.

I would NEVER EVER begrudge someone in a similar situation that time b/c I know how hard it is on a family.

my answer would be completely different if I saw my husband every weekend all year. but I don't, and the weekends after April 15 are golden to us.

enjoy your family time!!!!

Re: Update: Would I get the worst aunt in the world award if I bailed on my niece's b-day party this weekend?

Posted by jambalady

So, I explained the situation to my brother and SIL and they were not mad at all.

He said "just don't forget her present!"

So, all is well and I can enjoy my weekend guilt free and think of a special day for niece to make it up to her.