Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

DH watched the whole thing and he'll be the first to say that it made him sick to his stomach...but not for the reasons most people would assume. The bleeding, the tearing, all of it was was not gross...it was scary...not because of blood but because it was me experiencing this. He said it tore his heart out to watch me go through it and confused him even more that I wasn't screaming at the top of my lungs the way he wanted to.

When I tore I felt a cush of liquid but had no idea I tore...I thought it was something else and the whole time DH didn't want to tell me I tore...he just kept nodding saying 'no, no it's okay don't worry'

Afterwards he definitely waited the 6 weeks for me to heal and I am sure that had to do with what he saw. He came with me to my follow up appt and once the doctor turned to him and said you're good to go...he was back his old self.

And as we talk about baby #2 he is not grossed out in the least - even knowing what will happen. If anything, he seems to have an even greater respect for me for bringing his son into this world...it's pretty cool.

Message edited 7/2/2008 2:06:55 PM.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

Posted by racheeeee

OMG If men as a whole were turned off by seeing women having babies the human race would have died out millions of years ago!!!


If he has a problem after you squeeze his baby out of your vagina, you should probably get rid of him anyway!

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

dh would always kid around and say he wasnt going to look while i pushed, then when i was in labor, i told him seriously i wouldnt be offended if he didnt want to, didnt want to scar him, but he was all in there watching it lol, didnt scar him, thought it was gross but really cool..and afterwards didnt have any lasting effect on him and still looks at me the same..hth

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

we had amazing experiences...then again, I have an amazing DH.

BOTH times we went vaginal and BOTH times he helped to actually deliver the babies.

with DD, he threw on a gown and gloves and was the ONLY one with his hands on her while the DR was right next to him (he was an EMT, so she offered the experience to him!).

With DS...almost same thing...he was front and center and helped out.

According to him....nothing has changed, it feels the same (if not better )
and in fact, our sex life has gotten better after each child. To him, viewing me as the mother of his children gives him something MORE to love and it has brought us so close.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

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Message edited 7/2/2008 10:30:41 AM.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

My DH didn't fully look because he gets really queasy with blood. He watched from his peripheral, lol!!

He did however see the placenta come out..it was by accident, he went to walk across the room to see Johnny and glanced over and lo and behold..there is was. He said later that he got queasy but honestly, I would too...we are the same in that aspect.

It didn't change one thing sexually...he just wanted to make sure that I felt ok and healed before anything...

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

Posted by racheeeee

OMG If men as a whole were turned off by seeing women having babies the human race would have died out millions of years ago!!!


If he has a problem after you squeeze his baby out of your vagina, you should probably get rid of him anyway!

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

Oh I think about this all the time. I know my DH, I know he will never touch me again if he see it come out of there. I want him in the room, but way up north by my head. What he doesn't know won't hurt US!!! I love me some lovin!!!

Perfect for instance. I got a magazine from the dr with the 9 months, well at the end it shows a woman giving birth, he tossed it across the room and almost passed out, and it wasn't even me.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

I told my husband he HAD to watch! I wanted him to be forever in awe of what I was going to be doing in order to have our beautiful baby!
It's an amazing thing to watch, I would imagine! Seeing life begin right there in front of you - how much better can it get?
While he still remembers exactly what he saw, and talks about it often, because he was so entranced by it, nothing has changed between us since the birth of our daughter. I'm sure he sees me in a different way - but not negatively.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

I couldn't watch myself give birth. Seriously, I kept my eyes closed almost the entire time and didn't even realize I had given birth until my mother told me I did! The only reason I know that I was a total mess down there was because I saw the expression on my DH and my mom's faces.

MY DH watched the whoooole entire thing, cut the cord and watched the doctor stitch me up afterwards. And he had originially said he would NOT cut the cord.

5 1/2 months later, my DH is the same horny toad that he always was.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

I will be honest with you. My husband wasn't "grossed out", however he was freaked out by the amount of blood, etc. He said, Marybeth, you didn't see what I did. He did have an issue for a few months afterwards. Granted we were still intimate, but you could tell he was a little off about it. He did come clean with me eventually and say he was very freaked by it all. Since then we've had another child and he didn't flintch or react anywhere near the way he did w/my first child.

Re: Vaginal Births - Dh's experience and post-baby intimacy

Trust me, even if he is grossed out, after 6 weeks of doctor mandated no-nookie, he'll come around.