Vent re MIL upset over lack of involvement

while this is a vent I would love to hear how others handle this TIA
SO MIL had what I call a breakdown this sunday at my son's dedication cermony. She was upset she was not acknowledge as a grandma ( my mother was one of DS's sponsers as well as my SIL ). First off neither my SIL or mother was "acknowledged' besides standing next to us as we promised to raise our son Christian. Second MIL is not of the same "religion" (hate that word) as we are.
So now it comes out that she's upset that she's not a part of his life. SHe lives an hour away and she sees him 2-3 x a month. He currently is 6 months old. I know she is jealous of my mother since she came up to lives with us when DS was born. She has another grandson who is at her house ALL the time. That grandson lives 15m away and is her daughter's son.
After having DS I wanted to make my life simplier not more complicated but I guess it's out of my control.... should know better
Any words of advise? similar experience?
TIA
Thats feels a little better

Re: Vent re MIL upset over lack of involvement

First off all, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Yes, it's understandable that she feels jealous and like she wants to be part of your DS's life more, but it's not your "fault" that she lives an hour away. and 2-3x a month is about how much my parents and ILs see DS, maybe 4 times, and they live 1/2 hour away. We are just too busy. They still all feel very involved! I make it a point to send pics and texts all the time as ways to update them on what's going on in his and our lives. That might help her deal with it better

I don't think you should compare your son to her other grandson though. This is her son's son, just because she has her daughter's son close by doesn't mean she shouldn't also miss her other grandson like crazy.

Re: Vent re MIL upset over lack of involvement

Well. . . if she is not the same religion as you maybe she didn't understand the ceremony. And maybe she felt that the other grandma was recognized as being a grandmother.
As for seeing them 2-3 times per month, my parents live 20 mins away and so does my MIL. DS does not usually see them more than that - just because life happens. . . .
But . . .unfortunately, children complicate things sometimes with in laws and parents!!

Re: Vent re MIL upset over lack of involvement

Posted by Jacksmommy

Well. . . if she is not the same religion as you maybe she didn't understand the ceremony. And maybe she felt that the other grandma was recognized as being a grandmother.



But . . .unfortunately, children complicate things sometimes with in laws and parents!!