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Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Since moms have been asking about time out - its important first of all to know that time out really means time out from social reinforcement and from something enjoyable - so, if they don't want to eat their veggies, and throw them, and you give them time out, you have still removed veggies from them, so they still got their way....
So, that being said, heres how i have done this with Cailen....
Cailen does something (hits, throws a toy at me, touches the cable card in the bo, presses a TV button, etc) - basically, he does it for the reaction.
In a quiet, firm voice, I get down on his level, point my finger, and say "No!"
He will then LOOK at me, and start doing it.
I say, at his level, with the same voice - "If you do it again, you will get a time-out."
One warning only. Not repeating over and over again - Do you want a time out? Don't do it! You'll get a time out (this happens a lot, and its not effective at all....)
He does it again, and I lift him without saying a word, and without lookign at him.
I place him in a corner, facing the wall. If he walks away, I wordlessly and wihtout eye contact face him back. Initially, I did say one time"stay there."
We do 30-45 seconds. I try to let him out when he stops crying. I then have him pick up what he threw, but I don't rehash at all. Its a clean slate.
It has been working remarably. He stays in time-out all by himself. He will scream and cry - but get this, after 30 seconds, he knows its winding down and he will stop crying.
Now, he will stop the behavior 90% of the time if I say to him, "If you do ____ again, you will get a time out."
I choose my battles. Not every behavior gets the warning (or the T/O), just the ones that can hurt him or someone else, or break somehting.
Just wanted to share!
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Posted 9/2/08 2:49 PM  |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
This is EXACTLY what I do. But I also add, after timeout, I sit on the floor with her, ask her to sit with me and I ask her to tell me why she was in timeout - she always knows why. Then I explain "we don't hit/steal/lie/scream/etc in this family", ask her for a hug and a kiss and then we go back to what we are doing.
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:53 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
sounds exactly what I have been doing
mikayla was in time out like 5 times yesterday for touching the buttons on the TV 
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:54 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Posted by Bxgell2
This is EXACTLY what I do. But I also add, after timeout, I sit on the floor with her, ask her to sit with me and I ask her to tell me why she was in timeout - she always knows why. Then I explain "we don't hit/steal/lie/scream/etc in this family", ask her for a hug and a kiss and then we go back to what we are doing.
This is what I have been doing as well.
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:55 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
That is great to hear that it is working well with Cailen! How old was he when you first started time out?
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:55 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Good for you! Thats really great. I find time-outs work really well for DS too. I do the same thing and have since DS was very young, of course the length of time he sits has changed. but I also tell him why he is going in time out as I put him in the time out spot. And remind him of how he could have behaved when getting him out of time out, then its a hug and off he goes. We do not mention it again. I find time-out works really well. DS is 2 and while he has his moments he is really well behaved and listens (most of the time) when I tell him not to do something. He even cleans up his toys (with help from mom of course). On occassion I find myself getting frustrated and raising my voice and I find it to be much LESS effective. Time-out works for us, for now, so I am sticking with it.
Go Mommy, go mommy, Go mommy!
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:56 PM |
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Posted by jerseypanda
That is great to hear that it is working well with Cailen! How old was he when you first started time out?
mini time out, when he was maybe 10-11 mts old - when it seemed he did something deliberately after we told him "No"
For the mini, we picked him up, and plopped him down and walked away. The crying alone was enough for him without a whole production.
The way I just described above- about a week!
Message edited 9/2/2008 2:57:55 PM.
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:57 PM |
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Posted by Bxgell2
This is EXACTLY what I do. But I also add, after timeout, I sit on the floor with her, ask her to sit with me and I ask her to tell me why she was in timeout - she always knows why. Then I explain "we don't hit/steal/lie/scream/etc in this family", ask her for a hug and a kiss and then we go back to what we are doing.
I'd like to do that when he has more language...
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| Posted 9/2/08 2:58 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Posted by Bxgell2
This is EXACTLY what I do. But I also add, after timeout, I sit on the floor with her, ask her to sit with me and I ask her to tell me why she was in timeout - she always knows why. Then I explain "we don't hit/steal/lie/scream/etc in this family", ask her for a hug and a kiss and then we go back to what we are doing.
same here. we always make sure they know the reason, and we make them tell us.
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| Posted 9/2/08 3:01 PM |
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Annemarie13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 628 total posts
Name:
Annemarie
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
thank you for the advice. i am at the end of my rope with my 2 year old!!!
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| Posted 9/2/08 3:01 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Thanks for sharing...
This is going to sound SO bad but I cant do it. I cant let her sit and cry against the wall and I dont want anyone else to do it to her either. In my mind she will "grow out of it". To me its alot of different phases. Not trying to say that her and I have to have a "best friend" kinda relationship but for us its been working thus far. Gilly really has an even kind of temperment so maybe I just havent had to go there yet or maybe I am naive bc obviously she is still young and has ALOT of plans for me...LOL Whatever the case maybe we shall see. I think your techniques are excellent. Just curious though...do you think that all children will need to have restrictive guidelines or do you think its case by case? Like you and I kinda work in the same field and as you know not everyone is on a behavior plan so do you think that it is mandatory to do time outs with every child? I hope you understand what I mean bc I definitely want to hear what you have to say...
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| Posted 9/2/08 3:59 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Posted by Bxgell2
This is EXACTLY what I do. But I also add, after timeout, I sit on the floor with her, ask her to sit with me and I ask her to tell me why she was in timeout - she always knows why. Then I explain "we don't hit/steal/lie/scream/etc in this family", ask her for a hug and a kiss and then we go back to what we are doing.
This is what I do too but it doesn't always work!
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| Posted 9/2/08 4:03 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Ty for sharing! DD is 16 mths and testing us royally and i wasnt sure if time out was good for her now and whether she would understand.
Im going to try this. Thanks!
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| Posted 9/2/08 4:03 PM |
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MrsG
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/06 552 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Thanks for this helpful info - we have been trying to figure out how to discipline DD when she does these exact things that you mention. This sounds like a great plan, and I am going to try this starting tonight. Wish me luck!!
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| Posted 9/2/08 4:48 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
DS is stubborn beyond belief. We've been doing this for about 3 years now. Time-outs don't seem to bother him. We've done absolutely everything that every "expert" has said to do, and we are extremely consistent. Even after his T/O is over, he'll punish himself for another hour or two and just stay in the corner. How can a 5 minute T/O from us make an impact when he goes for another hour (or more).
We don't let it get to us, and we still do T/Os, but we keep trying to figure out different angles to see what may work better.
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| Posted 9/2/08 4:53 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
Posted by Bxgell2
This is EXACTLY what I do. But I also add, after timeout, I sit on the floor with her, ask her to sit with me and I ask her to tell me why she was in timeout - she always knows why. Then I explain "we don't hit/steal/lie/scream/etc in this family", ask her for a hug and a kiss and then we go back to what we are doing.
Beth we do EXACTLY what you do.
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| Posted 9/2/08 5:07 PM |
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Lizzy
Carson's Mama
Member since 2/08 2430 total posts
Name:
Elisabeth
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Re: Wanted to share my time-out procedure for Cailen that is working!
This sounds just like Nanny 911  It works!
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:46 PM |
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