was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

So, I was at an event this weekend. I went to the restroom... there were three stalls and an ADA compliant stall. The three regular stalls were occupied, so I stood against the wall to wait for one to open (the accessible stall was NOT occupied).

A woman walked in behind me, stood there for a second, then started leaning over to look past me. She noticed the accessible stall was open. She huffed really loudly and said, "really?" in a tone of voice that sounded like she thought I was a complete idiot. She kind of brushed past me (her arm brushed against my arm, almost as if she wanted to make a point that I was in the way, even though I was standing up against the wall, not in an aisle or anything) and sighed loudly as she walked into the accessible stall and slammed the door.

Was I wrong for waiting? I was always taught that unless it's a complete emergency, that non-disabled people should never use the accessible stall. I don't know... it's not like there was a line out the door. It was just me waiting, and a person came out of the regular stall pretty much a nanosecond after she slammed her way into the accessible stall. I mean, I've used it when it was the only stall available and my son was about to wet his pants (and I still felt guilty lol)... but other than that, I've always waited. Is this not current etiquette anymore?

Honestly, the lady was so irritated that it made me feel like a complete idiot. I get that maybe she reeeeeeally had to go, and standing in line wasn't going to work for her. In which case, great... that's why it's there and that's why I wasn't in it. I wouldn't have looked twice if she hurried in there got down to business; no judgements here! But the way she acted towards me implied that I should have been in that stall already since it was open.

I don't know. Maybe you had to be there and right now I just sound like a judgemental snot. I hope I am not stirring up any drama by asking this... I'm actually a little nervous to post it. I just want to know if I was wrong so I don't unintentionally cause any drama in the bathroom.

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I use that stall, if no one is waiting to use it that clearly needs it, I use it. Especially when I bring my 3 boys with me. I would not have gotten annoyed that you didn't. I would have waited behind you.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I would have used the stall. The lady was rude though. She could have approached situation in many different ways.

When kids were younger, I would always go to handicapped stall since it is bigger. Now kids are old enough to go by themselves.

Only place I was given a hard time about the handicapped stall was in Italy. The janitor actually stopped me from going into the handicapped bathroom. I was surprised.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I think she was out of line reacting in that manner

I personally would have used the disabled stall if there was nothing else available. Especially if I knew I'd be quick.

Obviously if I'm on line and a disabled person comes in behind me, I wouldn't just go into the stall because I was "next in line"

I think you were polite to wait and she was just acting like an ahole about it

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I always use that stall if it is the only one available, especially when I have my DD with me. I used it all the time when she was younger and In a stroller. That lady seemd over the top rude.

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I don't use disabled stalls unless it is an emergency. She was being rude.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I wouldn't have used the stall unless it was an absolute dire emergency or I had a child with me. I guess given what I do for a living I'm super sensitive to those things. That lady was a rude B***** for acting the way she did.
People in general are rude. I had to use the bathroom at the outlets it was one of those bathrooms with a single stall so I waddled my way in. Not even a few seconds later I hear pounding on the door by a bunch of small kids. Obviously I'm in here going. The mother standing outside the door pounding on the door with them saying they really had to go. Well gee lady give me 5 seconds. I'm clearly a pregnant whale and don't move that quick but I was in there no more than 3 minutes. Like really I was so tempted to be like you and your kids need to learn manners and patience but I didn't even want to get into it.

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I would have used the stall. If I was waiting on line and a disabled person came in I would allow them to use the handicapped bathroom first.

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I would have used the stall unless someone with an obvious handicap came it, but there was no reason for that woman to act so rudely. She could have just asked you nicely about why you were waiting. Absolutely no reason for her to be nasty about it.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I used the handicap stall all the time. obviously if someone came in that was handicap they have first dibs.

My DD likes going in there when I am with her cause it gives us space.

Plus I notice that some bathrooms put the baby changing table in the handicap stall.

With all that said there was no reason for the lady to be rude. I would have just asked if you were going to use that stall and if you said no I probably would have just went in it.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I would've used the stall (unless someone who needed that stall came in, of course), but she was rude.

I do tend to use the accessible stall when I have a lot of bags with me, whether at work or in a store...again, of course not if someone who needs the room is in there.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

Message edited 10/10/2016 10:51:49 AM.

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

It was good of you to leave the stall in case someone who needed it came in. I would have used the stall but I would have felt like a jerk had someone been there who actually needed it.

That woman was a real asshole. There was no need to react like that.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I always use it if its open. IMO, its handicap ACCESSIBLE not for handicapped people only.

That is why they put the changing tables in them, bc there is more space. So they are not handicap ONLY, just accessible.

Message edited 10/10/2016 10:55:31 AM.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I always use the handicap stall. It has more room! That lady was a complete jerk. Don't allow her make you feel bad. Your heart was in the right place.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I think the etiquette is if there is a disabled person and a line, they get priority to use the disabled stall before others who are standing in line. I tore my knee completely. While I've had surgery to repair it and faithfully exercise to maintain, it will never go back to normal. It is not an obvious disability. I use the disabled stall as it is taller and easier for my knee. I once encountered a woman in a wheel chair who berated me for using the stall. I had to explain not all disabilities are obvious and I don't use a cain but have had to. So I will say, not all disabilities are obvious.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

That woman was an ass*hole. You did nothing wrong. I would have used the stall for sure, but your choice not to is also completely acceptable.

Sad to see that we live in a world where people get annoyed at others for being considerate.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

You werent wrong. You have the choice to use it or not. Not sure why that would bother someone.
She just sounded very impatient.

Re: was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

was I wrong? public bathroom/disabled access stall etiquette

I use it all the time of it's available. I have a baby and the stroller fits in it. To me it's accessible for those with disabilities but not reserved for use. Also, it's none of her business sometimes I don't go I to a stall because I think it's filthy or pee on the seat or no paper. Or for whatever reason it's not her busiesss. The polite thing to say is, hey are you waiting? Do you mind if I jump in? She's clearly a looney. Don't wrry about it.