Was this punishment appropriate?

DD is in 5th grade and I've been concerned about what's been happening during her lunchtime. The five classes go into the cafeteria first and then go out to the yard as a group. She's been telling me for a while that the kids often have to stand, usually for 10 minutes, during recess, as punishment for not being quiet in the hall. The recess aide usually yells at this while this is happening.

I get that it's hard to get all these kids quiet and am not necessarily opposed to punishing them. But today DD had a book with her, and was reading while the aide yelled at the kids. Then the aide noticed her, made her get out of the line, and began yelling at her, in front of 100+ kids. DD was really upset, especially because she never gets in trouble.

So I'm trying to decide what, if anything, to do. The principal is kind of ineffective and based on the layout of the school, I am sure she knows what goes on. My daughter struggles so much with self-esteem and being ashamed over the smallest things, and this really upset her, but I don't know if I should just tell her to suck it up or I should complain.

Was this punishment appropriate?

I would definitely contact the principal. It's elementary school, not military school. Ive never heard of a punishment like that for children. If they're being punished for talking, then reading a book quietly should not be an issue. Sounds like that lunchaide is on a power trip. I get it's frustrating to get that many kids to all be quiet and behave, especially when they're all excited about recess time. But making them stand and get yelled at is insane. At the school where I used to work, they wo ukd just make the classes that were too noisy stay seated in the cafeteria as "punishment ". No one yelled at them.

Re: Was this punishment appropriate?

I agree with PP. It is unreasonable to think kids would be all quiet from lunch to recess. And then having them to stand for 10 mts while yelling at them? Also reading a book wouldn't be bad at all if what they want is for the kids to be quiet. Some people just like to yell and give punishments just because. Last year I was told a teacher in my DS's school sent a whole table to detention - including the kids that were in the bathroom when the incident happened

Sorry this happened to your DD. I think it is unreasonable.

Was this punishment appropriate?

I agree with both pp's. Totally not appropriate and I would definitely complain.

Was this punishment appropriate?

Two things about this bother me.

First, the aide yells at them. Standing for 10 minutes during recess because you weren't quiet sounds reasonable, but getting yelled at does not. From your description, it doesn't sound like the aide is calmly explaining to them why they're standing, but is actually yelling at them as a way of embarrassing them. That's does not sound ok.

Second, from what you described, your daughter was not doing anything wrong. Was she not allowed to read? Was she supposed to be paying attention for any reason? If not, then I'd complain about her getting in trouble when she didn't do anything.

Of course, there is always the issue of what will complaining to the principal achieve. I doubt it would help your daughter in any way. I think that's more of an issue where you just need to talk to her about what happened and make sure she understands that she shouldn't be embarrassed or upset about it. However, I honestly think some one should complain to the principal about the aides yelling at children, because that should be stopped. Not just for your daughter, but for all the kids even if they are being loud. Maybe see if some other parents would go with you to complain. Strength in numbers, and then you can't be brushed off as overly sensitive or something.

Re: Was this punishment appropriate?

Was your daughter reading during the “punishment”?
If so, I’d not do anything. It would be like she was being disrespectful and ignoring the aid during the punishment.

10 minutes of standing while being yelled at is a long time. I’d double check the details with the teacher responsible for the class. If it really is 10 minutes, I’d discuss the punishment as a group with other moms with teacher first.

Was this punishment appropriate?

This seems excessive, and I would definitely speak to the teacher about it before going to the Principal. Some of the lunch aides and aides in general that we have encountered over the years have no business working with children, and have done stuff like what you have written.

Re: Was this punishment appropriate?

Thanks everyone for the input.

I emailed the principal last night. In a nutshell I said I had a problem with her being pulled out of the line and berated in front of 100+ other kids for reading a book. I acknowledged that maybe she wasn't supposed to be reading, but I felt the way it was handled was over the top, especially since she wasn't the only one reading.

I didn't get into the fact that an entire group has to suffer because some kids can't be quiet but I am hoping the principal reaches that conclusion herself. Though I am sure she is aware of what goes on because of the layout of the school- the kids pass the main office/her office on their way to the recess yard.

A mom friend who has worked as a substitute aide told me that multiple parents have already complained about this person. I am hoping they do something- even if it's just giving her training on how to manage kids.