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What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I have a wedding to go to in August - church is at 4:00, then a few hrs later Fox Hollow. The invite says black tie optional.
What exactly are my options here???
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Posted 7/11/07 10:15 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
It means I want you to Dress like you are going to a black tie event and if you don't I will make sure I remember.
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts 
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:16 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by june262004
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts
but maybe the groom's family from Kentucky does!
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:17 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I would say it means the couple would prefer everyone to wear something formal (ie. tuxes, full length gowns) but it's not mandatory like a black tie wedding.
Your options: If not full length something dark. Basically something dressy.
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:18 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I just dress the same way. We once went to a "Black Tie" wedding where I ruined $140.00 shoes because the ceremony was outside and it had rained the night before, the ground wasn't dry, they didn't put down ground supports and my heals went right into the muddy grass......that is the last time I paid much attention to dress code. I am an adult and know how to dress appropriately for a wedding!
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:19 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by Shorty
Posted by june262004
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts
but maybe the groom's family from Kentucky does!
WELL 1) does the family from Kentuck even know what black tie means?
b) put it on their invites 
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:21 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by Jennie0898
I would say it means the couple would prefer everyone to wear something formal (ie. tuxes, full length gowns) but it's not mandatory like a black tie wedding.
Your options: If not full length something dark. Basically something dressy.
I agree. It means if you want to get decked out you can. People have fun with it. But it's not manditory.
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:22 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by Shorty
Posted by june262004
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts
but maybe the groom's family from Kentucky does!
I put it on my invites for DH's family. They had never been to a NY wedding and were glad that we put it on there so they were dressed appropriately.
They also came up to me all alarmed at the cocktail hour b/c the tables didn't have numbers like the placecards did....they didn't realize there was more.
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:24 PM |
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NASP09
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Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
For men I believe it means either a tux or a dark suit. For women it means a nice dress. I went to a "black tie' wedding last weekend and some women wore gowns, some girls wore summer dresses, and some girls wore what looked like prom dresses.
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:32 PM |
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Jessee
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1260 total posts
Name:
Jessee
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
To me, it means dress nice.
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:34 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by KateDevine
They also came up to me all alarmed at the cocktail hour b/c the tables didn't have numbers like the placecards did....they didn't realize there was more.
The same thing at mine.... they all thought that the cocktail hour was it, the end.
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| Posted 7/11/07 10:40 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
To me it means:
Groom's view: DW wants you to wear black tie but I don't want you to blame me for making you do it, so it's your choice.
Bride's view: Because DH's friend don't know how to dress properly for a wedding, they should be specifically told how to dress.
What it equals is -
The guys in suits feel underdressed.
The guys in tuxes feel overdressed.
Wear a long dress, have Angelo in a dark suit.
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| Posted 7/11/07 11:08 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
We had black tie on our invites.
Actually my DH wanted black tie Saturday night. I wanted Sunday afternoon to save money - at our place, it was cheaper. But it was a concession because he originally wanted a spring/summer outdoor wedding which I nixed due to my serious seasonal allergies as well as the high cost of wedding season. We got married in February.
That being said, the "black tie", meant tuxes or dark suits. Most of our male guests actually owned the tuxes they wore. Id say somewhere between 85-90 percent of them wore tuxes and the rest dark suits. Nobody got kicked out. I have seen people dress in untucked button down shirts at Saturday night weddings and I don't like it. For women, it meant cocktail (at or below the knee) or long dresses. Nothing hoochie.
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| Posted 7/11/07 11:38 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I had friends from Florida (originally from upstate New York) who were blown away that there was a full dinner reception after the cocktail hour food. I hate to say it but when I went to their wedding a year later, I understood why they were surprised
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| Posted 7/11/07 11:41 PM |
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by june262004
It means I want you to Dress like you are going to a black tie event and if you don't I will make sure I remember.
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts
sh it... so I CAN'T wear my jean shorts? 
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| Posted 7/12/07 6:25 AM |
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I think thats so cute....
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| Posted 7/12/07 6:29 AM |
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MrsPowers
So blessed!
Member since 11/06 10348 total posts
Name:
Ivelysse
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I had a similar situation at mine. One friend of my parents from TX, wanted to sit at his table in the ballroom at the beginning of the cocktail hour. 
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| Posted 7/12/07 8:06 AM |
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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
really you could wear whatever you want. a nice black dress is always a safe bet. its just a way to let people know to dress up in my opinion.
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| Posted 7/12/07 8:16 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Our family friends from other parts of the country thought that too. They commented to my mom that the hall must do a nice business since they were setting up inside for another wedding and my mom told them "No! This is just the cocktail hour. We still have dinner and dancing and cake inside." They still tell her how "fancy" my wedding was.
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| Posted 7/12/07 8:29 AM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Take a cab to Fox Hollow...someone just posted a horror story about the valet.
Black tie in Ny/LI/NJ means your DH better wear a tux or the bridezilla will kick his azz.
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| Posted 7/12/07 8:54 AM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by Shorty
Posted by june262004
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts
but maybe the groom's family from Kentucky does!
Which is why I put FORMAL ATTIRE on my invitation. Not because I didn't think you would look nice, but it was a gentle way to tell my Darling Husband's Northeastern PA family, that corduroy blazers and floral jumpsuits were indeed a no no.
I know people think the whole BTO is rude, unreal, etc, but after spending so much time on every detail of my day, I didn't want people coming to my wedding in washed out khakis.
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| Posted 7/12/07 8:57 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
it is code for "dress formal". It does NOT mean wear a tux IMO
Message edited 7/12/2007 8:59:11 AM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 8:59 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by june262004
Im sorry But I hate that crap! We don't live in a hick place where people go to wedding wearing Jean shorts
Sorry, I have to disagree. I know for a fact that if I didn't write "black tie optional" I would have had guests dressing inappropriately.
It means for your DH to wear a suit and for you to be in a dress, or dressy outfit.
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| Posted 7/12/07 9:00 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
Posted by jxnoscar
I know people think the whole BTO is rude, unreal, etc, but after spending so much time on every detail of my day, I didn't want people coming to my wedding in washed out khakis.
we had a few male guests from TX show up at our wedding in kahkis and a dress shirt. I honestly didn't mind. one of their wives was wearing a blouse and casual pants. that bothered me for some reason
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| Posted 7/12/07 9:01 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: What does black tie optional REALLY mean?
I think men can get away with tuxes or dark suits (preferably black).
Women can get away with dark colored dressy cocktail dresses or long gowns.
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| Posted 7/12/07 9:02 AM |
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