What is your biggest regret in life?

I have two:

1. Not getting a second opinion awhen I knew in my gut I should not accept my father's
doctor's opinion that nothing could be done about his condition.

2. Not waiting a little longer to have my second DD. My girls are 2.5 years apart and I wish I had waited another year.

Message edited 5/30/2017 11:52:21 AM.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Not leaving NY right after college. It would have been much easier to be a fledgling in the world in an new area without the worries of kids and a current mortgage. I could have lived just fine on ramen noodles to make it work if it were just me and DH. I think about this daily.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Not doing what I wanted to do, rather than listening to others.
That's water under the bridge and I try not to dwell on the regrets. It has taught me to stand up for myself.

Second regret is never having a child when I was younger. I am childfree now, not by my choice.

What is your biggest regret in life?

1. not going away to college
2. listening to others & not majoring in what I wanted to which meant giving up on the career I had always dreamed of.

Message edited 5/30/2017 12:02:58 PM.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

I have two.

1) I wish I didn't wait so long to have kids, especially because DH and I have been together since we were 16. Our DD was born when we were 33, our son didn't come along until a week before my 38th birthday because of fertility issues. We always wanted 3 kids but because of a late start and the IF issues, time wasn't on our side.

2) We moved to FL after college, I hated it and we moved back to NY after 4 years. In hindsight, I wished when we left FL we didn't move back to the island but instead headed to MA or somewhere else in the New England area. We're trying to do that now at least, just 16 years after the fact.

What is your biggest regret in life?

1. Not traveling more when I had the chance
2. Not going away to college. I should have just done it and not worried about how I was going to pay for it.

What is your biggest regret in life?

I thought I had a few, but realized that I wouldn't have gotten to where I am if it weren't for alot of them.

1. Wished I went away to college for awhile, but now I am happy I didn't. I stayed home for college, knowing I wanted to be a teacher. While I missed out on going away, I wanted to stay in NY because I knew I'd be taking all the NYS teaching exams, and I wanted to do all of my student teaching on Long Island to get my foot in the door. Glad I stayed here because I had friends who went out of state for their education degrees, and had trouble meeting all the requirements for NYS as a result. The NYS colleges knew all of the required exams, and there were tons of locations where I could do my testing. My friends had to take their exams on college breaks and during the summers when they were home.

2. Wished I never took my LI job in Sept and gave up my maternity leave. However, I know if I didn't take that job, I would probably still be applying like crazy to get into a LI school. I got a job last year in one of the top school districts in nassau and was over the moon excited. I resigned from the NYC DOE in June, and started at the new school in Sept. I had DD in late July, and had to do my orientation for the new job in mid August which was really hard. DD was just under 6 weeks on my first day of school. Had I known I was hired just as a placeholder until a teaching assistant got her certifications, I would have never risked everything to go out to LI. I found out about it all in January, and got an amazing full time position mid-year in a great school on the Queens/LI border in the DOE. While it sucks that it all happened, I am so grateful to have found my current building. I have the best coworkers and principal, and I've been rated highly effective based on my observations! My former DOE position was a far commute, and I knew I would be incredibly unhappy if I stayed there. Glad I had the long island experience, because it just solidified my decision to never leave the NYC DOE.

To be honest, the only REAL regret I have is buying my Jeep Compass lol.. I HATE IT. You can't fit any car seat in the rear facing position because it is so tight in the back, and had I planned ahead better, i would have bought something with more space and possibly a 3rd row. I can't sell it now, because I am not sure if I will break even based on the amount I still owe on the car. Now I'm stuck with it for another 2 years or so before I can consider selling it and getting something bigger

ETA: Actually I do have one: Asking friends to be bridesmaids in my wedding. I should have kept it just my sisters and my cousin/best friend. I don't speak to two girls that were in my bridal party. They are still in party mode, and stopped asking me to hangout once I told them I was pregnant. Never got a text or phone call when I had the baby, and they have yet to meet her. Haven't spoken to them for over a year and a half and it really stinks to have them in all my wedding photos.

Message edited 5/30/2017 12:27:04 PM.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Not being more serious about college applications and not realizing how important your peer networks at age 19-26 shape your life as an adult socially/professionally. I know it sounds silly because in retrospect, I did just fine w/ my education and now do well as an attorney - but I wonder what my life would be like now had I done the research and actually applied to more broader competitive schools like UPenn, Brown, Notre Dame, Northwestern, etc instead of just going off to SUNY Binghamton because my parents said going to my top choices back then (Brandeis/Univ of Rochester) was too expensive (our household income was too low to qualify for full aid, but my #s weren't high enough for full merit scholarships).

I had a great time at SUNY, came out w/ 1 small loan and was able to study abroad in Paris on a full scholarship but there's a HUGE difference in experiences, and career/dating prospects coming out of a SUNY vs. a Brown University. Marrying a rich finance guy is easier if he sat next to you in Econ 101.

Message edited 5/30/2017 1:06:11 PM.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

No real regrets because I really believe everything happens for a reason and if I didn't go through everything in life I may not have the life I have now.


So my regrets are small like not fighting for more money when we sold/traded in DH car at the dealership
how we have handled money and not saving more money before we had kids.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

I also believe everything happens for a reason...but I have major regrets in life, but of course if I didn't do things the way they happened, I wouldn't be where I am...

1) I wish I never married my ExDH. I KNEW I shouldn't have married him, I just went through the motions, I wasn't in love and we had problems from even dating. BUT if I didn't marry him, I wouldn't have DS soooo that's the 1 good thing out of that.

2) I wish I studied to become a teacher, which was what I always wanted to do. Even though my job now allows me to retire in 4 yrs at age 43 with a pension and benefits (NYPD), I miss out on so many things for my son. Even though I have 16 yrs in my job, and many many benefits, the friends I went to school with that became teachers are making what I'm making, have tenure, with all the perks of summers, weekends, holidays off. Yes it's stressful, but it's what I always had a passion for, to teach. And definitely beats being a NYC officer!

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Posted by blu6385

No real regrets because I really believe everything happens for a reason and if I didn't go through everything in life I may not have the life I have now.


So my regrets are small like not fighting for more money when we sold/traded in DH car at the dealership
how we have handled money and not saving more money before we had kids.

What is your biggest regret in life?

My biggest regret is not trying for another baby right after having DD. I was 38 when I had her and had gone through almost 4 years of fertility treatments. After she was born I just wasn't ready. I didn't try again until I was 42 and it was a failed IVF cycle. I'm now almost 44 and am still yearning for another baby.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

My biggest regret is probably turning down a job that I was offered that would have enabled me to travel the world. However, if I took that job I never would have met my husband and so in the long run meeting him is way better than seeing the world. We will be able to retire one day and travel….

I do regret not having a 4th baby sometimes but I have three healthy children so I feel so fortunate for what I do have.

Overall I feel like you can't live life thinking about your regrets. You need to think about the present and the future but there's no sense dwelling on the past.

What is your biggest regret in life?

Not focusing more in school and getting my degree when I was MUCH younger and before kids. HOWEVER I might have ended up in a completely different career and I love what I do now.

Not waiting a little longer to have kids. We should've saved for a house, got my career established and moved before we started a family. Now I feel like we're working backwards.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

1 not going to college straight out of high school
2 kinda between not getting married yet or having a child I'm 34 and only have a few years left to have children.

What is your biggest regret in life?

Not calling my uncle more and specifically not calling him the day before he died suddenly. I meant to check-in since he wasn't feeling well but I got caught up in household crap and didn't get around to it. Chances are the outcome would have been the same but I always wonder if maybe I could have somehow convinced him to call his dr that day he would still be here.

What is your biggest regret in life?

Not having a 2nd child right after DS was born. That was the game plan all along. But DS was a preemie and my mom was Diagnosed with cancer, so life threw us a curveball then. There was so much going on. But I wanted to be pregnant again immediately. 5 years later I still have not had another and probably won't.

What is your biggest regret in life?

Not going for that job interview... I'll never know what would've came from it... that was my turning point...

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Not going to college. I like what I do and I make pretty good money, but I'm sure I'd be making a lot more if I had that degree.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Not studying abroad my junior year of college. I wish I had that experience. I did work so I could afford to visit friends that lived in the UK, but that semester my friends got to travel Europe before returning to the States. I wish that I could have afforded to travel with them, but I got a job instead. I know career wise it was better for me and opened other doors for me. Interestingly the people that did the traveling and study abroad did not have career success.

What is your biggest regret in life?

I wish I would have been more involved during undergrad and studied abroad.

I also wish I would have spent more time with my grandfather. I was a teenager when he died, typical angsty teen, and wish I would have appreciated him more when he was here. He shaped my life in such a huge way.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

I wish I never went to college... I never got the job I wanted and now my students loans are a massive headache and the single most stressful thing in my life.

Re: What is your biggest regret in life?

Not studying abroad while in college.