What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

Initially I told dh that I would get up with the baby during the night for feedings (generally 3) b/c I only work 1 day a week at my own business for the summer but now our son is 1 month old and I am EXAUSTED. I refuse to be resentful so I asked him to help out and he has a REALLY hard time waking up. He'll feed the baby while laying in our bed which wakes me up anyway. I'm a super light sleeper.We tried to put our son in his nursery across the hall and while he loves his crib the video moniter makes so much noise that it keeps me up.So now the baby is back in our bedroom in the pack n play. I have heard some couples alternate nights for caring for a newborn or one person will take the first feeding and then switch, etc... what works in your house?

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

from day one, I always did the middle of the night feeding and the AM one. DH did the 11PM-12M feeding.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

what we did was i would do it until i went back to work, once i went back to work i would continue to do it unless i was just too tired and would then wake dh up and have him do it.. what worked for us is we had a glider in DD room and that is where she would get her feedings as not to disturb the other person sleeping. You might want to think about starting with just putting a chair with a boppy pillow in there for your dh and see if its worth the investment for a glider.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

DW would take Sun through either Wed or Thurs, depending on which week I had Friday off, and I would take the weekends. We decided that if she was exhausted during the week, she could just stay home. I have to drive to work, and stay awake at my job, so I took the weekends.
With DS, for the first month or two, whoever was taking care of him would sleep in his room, so the other one could get a good night sleep, and the monitor wouldn't wake them up.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

Ds was FF, so when DS was a newborn, DH would take the 8-12:30 shift,while I slept and then, he would go to bed and Id take 12:30 -6am. After that we were both up for the day.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

When I was on leave, I was BFing for most of it so I would do the middle of the night feedings in her room. IF I was too wiped out, DH did the feedings with pumped milk in a bottle.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

from day 1 with DS and it will be that way again with DD...

DH got the 11pm feeding and i got all the other feedings in the middle of the night. then DH would get the morning feeding (6-7am)

i never expected him to do the middle of the night feedings.

on weekends though he would surprise me and take a friday or a sat night

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

When DD was getting up twice during the night while I BFed, we split it to make sure we both got a good chunk of uninterrupted sleep.

DH would take the 12am/1am feeding and I slept from about 10pm on. Then I would get up for the 4am/5am feeding and DH slept until 7am or so when we both got up.

This schedule worked best for us when I was home and DH was working b/c a lot of times, DH didn't get to bed until 11 or so anyway so it was easier for him just to stay up a little longer.

When we moved to once a night feedings, we just alternated or whoever was less tired got up.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

We've had the same system since ds was born. We alternated feedings. No matter if i was home for the 3 months or not. He always wanted to take part and have his bond with ds too.

Now that ds is 1 year old, he STTN but we alternate who gets up at 6:15am with him and who gets to sleep until 7am.

Also when my son was getting up at night and my husband was on midnight shifts for 4 nights... it was just me doing all the work. The first night or two after the midnight shifts when DH was home... he'd let me sleep in the other room with a sound machine while he handled all the feedings.

ETA: in the beginning, the monitor was very loud for me too and i'm such a light sleeper. It was hard sleeping with it. But I did and as ds got older... he wasn't such a loud sleeper anymore.

I always put it on the lowest possible setting (my DH always joked that he could never hear it because i had it so low). Then for a bit, we switched sides of the bed so DH was next to the monitor so i wasn't right next to it.

Message edited 7/9/2009 10:58:25 AM.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

When DD was still getting up for 1 feeding, I did the 2:30am feedings during the week, then DH would do the 6/6:30am feeding. On the weekends we would switch DH would do the 2:30am feedinig and I would to the early morning feeding.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

We both worked full-time but I was the one who got up in the middle of the night. My husband works on a contruction site so I wanted him awake & alert. The most dangerous thing that could happen in my office is my head could hit the keyboard if I suddenly fell asleep at my desk.

Weekends, I slept in more.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

DD is a month old now too, and our feeding arrangements go like this:

I do all of the middle of the night feedings (I breastfeed) and DH does the 6am feeding (pumped breast milk) and I'll use that time to get a nice chunk of sleep, usually from 6 till about 9:30am.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

I'm not sure if I'll be much of a help, but once DH is sleeping there is no getting him up, so he was no help to me when it came to late night feedings.

I BF for the first 2 months so it's not like DH could have really helped. But then we switched to formula and once we switched DD pretty much slept through the night, so it was a lot easier for me to get rest.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

We did shifts. We would both go to bed around 9-10.

We had a 10-2 shift and the a 2-6 shift, each of us took one shift.

I can't imagine being the only one to wake up every night until they sleep through the night

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

This is what we do. I go to bed super early, like 8 (because I cannot function without sleep) and then my DH will hang out, feed and put DS to bed. My DH then comes to bed around 10-11 and then I get up at the baby's next feeding. DS is almost 12 weeks so he only really wakes up for 1 feeding. I feed DS and then put him back down. If by chance he gets up again then DH does that feeding so both of us get at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I has been going real well. I just cant wait until DS will go down at 7 and sleep straight through. I want to stay up later because I miss watching TV and hanging with DH, but my sleep is very important especially since I am back at work.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

Im on maternity leave and Im such a light sleeper that I would wake up even when DH would feed her a bottle of pumped milk... so... I get up to feed her and if she wakes up for another reason, DH goes in.

In the beginning, we changed DD's diaper at every feeding. DH would change the diaper and I would feed her.

You could always try a few different things out.. Have hubby do one of the night feedings or switch of nights.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

When we first brought DS home from the hospital DH took over the nighttime feedings completely. He felt that I hadnt slept much in months and I needed to rest up. He would take a long nap in the morning...

When he went back to work we would usually trade off back and forth...one night he would do it...then one night I would do it. There wasnt any need for both of us to be tired that way at least one of us got a good night sleep.

Once DS started to sleep through the night though it kind of turned into DHs job... ..Im a very sound sleeper and it takes me awhile for me to be coherant...so he just took over...I have to say I didnt mind one bit...

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

in my house it almost lead to DH being stabbed with a knife in the middle of the night.

DH was the worst. absolute worst.

DH comes home from work at 2 am ish...perfect time for a feeding.

Always, always had an excuse.

I told him one night the bottle is on the counter, he told me there are no words that he dreads hearing more then those.

it was a nightmare and at that point I did not even want him holding my baby.

if anyone else's dh was like mine, make them sit through baby elliots 99 balloons on youtube. they will feel like a big POS/

he promises next time will be different, he realizes he was horrible. I am not sure why he acted like that. very out of character for him. he lost his mind when we had our baby.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

when ds was first borth dh also had vacation and we alternated.

when he went back to work- then it was me.. since dh needed a good night sleep for work and I was home durring the day to catch up by naps... it got hard for me at times... I loved weekends when dh shared night duty...

with both back to work we alternate shifts...

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

DD is FF and started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. For the first month I went to bed early (around 8:00PM) and DH would stay up for the 11:00PM feeding. I would then to the 3:00 AM feeding. HTH!

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

I love and hate that video monitor, because its great but makes terrible noise, have you thought about getting a cheap audio one, and still using the monitor on silent? This is what we do now, and its sooo much better!

I basically did all the night feedings for the first 5 months, because I am a SAHM, and DH gets up for work very early. But when he gets up he makes a pitcher, and cleans the bottles, which help soo much!

For the last 3 weeks, I've been extremely tired, and DH has done every single late night feeding ((its now only once a night)). He's amazing. I will begin to take over again, because I don't want him getting warn out, but he said he will take 2 out of his 3 days off, to do the night feedings. He even gets up with him in the morning when he has off.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

All me. I am a light sleeper and DH doesn't wake up even when they are screaming right next to him. I am also a SAHM and he owns his own company working 12-13 hour days.

Re: What is your system with dh for middle of the night feedings??

DH did the middle of the night feeding-- which there was initially just one of. I of course would wake up first, so I had to wake him up-- but, at least I didn't have to get out of bed.

Now I am back to doing it all myself since we are sleep training and not feeding in the middle of the night-- at least until 5 when I feed her if she wakes up.

eta-- we turn the volume off on the video monitor. We can hear her from our room and I like to look at her in the middle of the night when I wake up, but I don't need the extra volume. try that.

Message edited 7/9/2009 9:40:23 PM.