| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] |
ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by seaside
Saying your presence is the best gift is not the same as saying not to bring one, imo.
It's a party for a child. I would 100% bring a gift for the child.
I think they're just trying to make sure that they don't appear to be asking for a gift--and your presence may in fact be the best gift...but you can gift them with your presence and a toy for the child and I am sure they'll be nothing less than grateful.
I agree with you!
|
Posted 10/13/14 7:22 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by seaside
Saying your presence is the best gift is not the same as saying not to bring one, imo.
Interesting. I did the "your presence is your present" thing for DH's 40th and to me, it IS the same - it is a more polite way of saying "no gifts please" because I'm not sure it's socially acceptable to say it exactly like that.
This is a tough one; since it's for a child, I kind of feel like everyone should be on the same page. If some people give gifts and others don't, it sends a mixed message to the child and they might wonder why some bought and others didn't.
I would probably ask around and see what others are doing.
Maybe I would do wine or food, but if they really want no gifts, ultimately I think I'd adhere to it. Maybe they don't have space, the child has enough stuff, etc.
Message edited 10/13/2014 8:32:38 PM.
|
| Posted 10/13/14 8:31 PM |
| |
|
LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
If the cultural norm for you is to give something monetary (cash, gift card), I would give it. They can put it in the child's bank account, they can donate it, they can buy a toy, etc. I agree if they live in a small apartment that a physical gift may not be the best idea.
Personally, I would not bring wine or dessert. I'm sure they already have birthday cake for the child and wine is obviously a gift for the parents, not the child.....unless the baby is a little wino 
|
| Posted 10/13/14 9:03 PM |
| |
|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by LuckyStar
If the cultural norm for you is to give something monetary (cash, gift card), I would give it. They can put it in the child's bank account, they can donate it, they can buy a toy, etc. I agree if they live in a small apartment that a physical gift may not be the best idea.
Personally, I would not bring wine or dessert. I'm sure they already have birthday cake for the child and wine is obviously a gift for the parents, not the child.....unless the baby is a little wino
I was thinking this too, especially the last part.
I also agree with the PP about disliking this on the invite. If I am so against toys or gifts for my DS, I wouldn't throw a party and do something intimate. I don't agree with dictating anything to my guest. If you are the one person who listened you look like an @ss, if you are the one person who didn't listen you look like an @ss. Since I don't know everyone's thought process, I would feel bad to make any of my guest feel uncormfortable or feel stupid.
|
| Posted 10/13/14 9:16 PM |
| |
|
Mama2S2013
LIF Infant
Member since 5/14 166 total posts
Name:
|
What to take to
I put this for my DDs 1st birthday party- I really didn't want to get a ton of toys/clutter and she was just turning 1 she doesn't know what's going on and how much stuff does a kid need...I just wanted everyone to come celebrate and have a good time.
That being said, if you really want to bring a gift- I would give money, a gift card, or a book or two. A subscription to Highlights Hello magazine is also a nice gift that keeps on giving!
|
| Posted 10/13/14 10:04 PM |
| |
|
sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
|
What to take to
I would honor the request and not bring anything. I gave huge party for my daughter once and ended up with 75 gifts. It was awful. I had no idea what to do with them all. Most never got unwrapped and I kept finding bags of them a year later.
The following year I asked people not to bring gifts. We had a fabulous party and the worst problem I had was a mom who kept asking to bring something. She reluctantly gave up when I finally convinced her that I would be giving any gifts to charity. My DD had more than enough toys and didn't need any more. All she cared about was that her friends came, had fun and that there were lots of flowers on the cake.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 12:37 AM |
| |
|
lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
|
What to take to
I hate people that do that. Hah. Sorry. I'd give a pony.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 1:06 PM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by Hofstra26
It's because we were all raised with the notion that proper etiquette is to never go to a party or someone's home without a little something. I've been invited to a few "no gift" parties and not even kidding, pretty much everyone brought a gift.
I think if you want to ask for "no gifts" that's fine but expect that there will always be some people who will NOT go empty handed. And it's not about disrepescting your feelings or your wishes in a mean way, it's just something that is SO ingrained in people from an early age and although it sounds easy enough to say "no gifts" it's not always easy to get people to comply.
And just as an aside, I'll be COMPLETELY 100% honest, while the whole point of bdays and Xmas is for the kids, DH, and I to celebrate and be with family and friends I do also remember the excitement of getting gifts as a child. It's a big thing!!
This is JMO, but as long as a child is appreciative and thankful for the gifts they receive I don't have a problem with them getting presents. Birthday gifts and Xmas morning...........ALL good memories in addition to the actual parties and celebrations with the people you love. 
I don't get this at all. So you are basically saying "if you want to ask for no gifts that's fine, but there will always be some people who will not go empty handed and I am one of them." Your friend is saying not to bring a gift and you are ignoring that because that's how you were raised. That makes it about you, not about the host.
I follow instructions. I too was raised not to go empty handed, but if someone specifically tells me not to bring a gift, I don't. I bring a card and if I felt like the host would appreciate it, I would make a donation in honor of the guest of honor.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 1:21 PM |
| |
|
Seawolf
LIF Adult
Member since 3/14 1336 total posts
Name:
Scrumba
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by lynnd126
I hate people that do that. Hah. Sorry. I'd give a pony.
I can't tell you HOW many times ppl have brought me ponies when I have specifically requested no gifts or livestock.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 2:21 PM |
| |
|
|
|
What to take to
Talk about first world problems :
"I'm having a party and don't want gifts. Thanks"
And
"I'm invited to a party that says no gift needed. What gift should I bring? I was thinking since they requested no gifts, maybe a Land Rover? Or is that too cheap for a 'no gift necessary' party?"
And
"Omg. Here I am hosting this party and I specifically said NO gifts! And freaking Sheila, man. That ***** just got me a Land Rover. I'm so annoyed. Where am I going to store it???? Ugh why can't people listen??"
 it could make for a great skit!
all kidding aside .. Something small. People go overboard nowadays. No need.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 2:32 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by dpli
Posted by Hofstra26
It's because we were all raised with the notion that proper etiquette is to never go to a party or someone's home without a little something. I've been invited to a few "no gift" parties and not even kidding, pretty much everyone brought a gift.
I think if you want to ask for "no gifts" that's fine but expect that there will always be some people who will NOT go empty handed. And it's not about disrepescting your feelings or your wishes in a mean way, it's just something that is SO ingrained in people from an early age and although it sounds easy enough to say "no gifts" it's not always easy to get people to comply.
And just as an aside, I'll be COMPLETELY 100% honest, while the whole point of bdays and Xmas is for the kids, DH, and I to celebrate and be with family and friends I do also remember the excitement of getting gifts as a child. It's a big thing!!
This is JMO, but as long as a child is appreciative and thankful for the gifts they receive I don't have a problem with them getting presents. Birthday gifts and Xmas morning...........ALL good memories in addition to the actual parties and celebrations with the people you love.
I don't get this at all. So you are basically saying "if you want to ask for no gifts that's fine, but there will always be some people who will not go empty handed and I am one of them."
Yes. I'm saying exactly that.
I think most/some people will bring something, even a token gift, as opposed to nothing.............even if nothing was requested.
I've seen it at every "no gift" party I've gone to.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 2:49 PM |
| |
|
Milerose
MY BABY!
Member since 9/06 4161 total posts
Name:
R
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
!
Message edited 10/14/2014 2:53:22 PM.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 2:53 PM |
| |
|
Milerose
MY BABY!
Member since 9/06 4161 total posts
Name:
R
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by KittyShops
If you host a party for yourself, or for your child, and a friend or family member wants to give you a token gift for your special day - regardless of what your invitation dictates - the ONLY appropriate response should be, "thank you."
I agree as well. Perfectly written!
|
| Posted 10/14/14 2:54 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
If this were a really good friend, I would give $ or a gift card privately. I don't think I'd give it the same day as the party.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 3:19 PM |
| |
|
FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
This "presence is your present" nonsense is becoming one of my biggest pet peeves.
In your case, given that you know space is an issue and its for a one year old, I would give money, buy stock or give a gift card. I would not show up empty handed.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 4:02 PM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by Hofstra26
Yes. I'm saying exactly that.
I think most/some people will bring something, even a token gift, as opposed to nothing.............even if nothing was requested.
I've seen it at every "no gift" party I've gone to.
I understood what you were saying. What I don't get is why you (or anyone) would insist on bringing something when specifically asked not to?
And yes, it is a first world problem, just like most of the things posted on LIF.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 4:12 PM |
| |
|
DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
I think the perfect thing would be to spend what you normally would have on a donation to a charity in the childs name, and put the receipt in a card.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 4:45 PM |
| |
|
A3CM
Avatar Title
Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
What to take to
i would give cash and write a note saying something to the lines of this isn't gift but a start to "childs" educational fund.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 5:47 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by dpli
Posted by Hofstra26
Yes. I'm saying exactly that.
I think most/some people will bring something, even a token gift, as opposed to nothing.............even if nothing was requested.
I've seen it at every "no gift" party I've gone to.
I understood what you were saying. What I don't get is why you (or anyone) would insist on bringing something when specifically asked not to?
And yes, it is a first world problem, just like most of the things posted on LIF.
Etiquette, culture, generosity, kindness, social norms, and on and on. There are so many reasons why people buy gifts.
I truly don't even understand the whole "no gift" thing anyway. (It's jut not my thing) It seems like the trendy thing to do now and up until VERY recently I've never heard of telling people not to bring gifts for birthdays, celebrations, holidays, and so on. Especially when it comes to kids.
Anyone is free to say no gifts I just think you HAVE to expect some people to NOT listen. I can just imagine telling my children's grandparents and our huge family "no gifts" for the kids. That would go over like a ton of bricks. They love getting them things!!
And yes, first world problems indeed!
|
| Posted 10/14/14 6:00 PM |
| |
|
Poppyseed79
LIF Adult
Member since 10/14 935 total posts
Name:
"Reg"
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
Posted by A3CM
i would give cash and write a note saying something to the lines of this isn't gift but a start to "childs" educational fund.
This sounds like a good idea to me.
|
| Posted 10/14/14 8:41 PM |
| |
|
WahmBam
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/14 555 total posts
Name:
Mom
|
Re: What to take to "your presence is the best gift" party?
I think a small donation to a charity based for kids is a great idea!
|
| Posted 10/14/14 8:43 PM |
| |
|
butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
|
What to take to
a gift card... but 100 is alot.... maybe like $25.
|
| Posted 10/16/14 9:21 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] |
