When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

do you have to bring them to there house or do they come over? When I mean at night you would be leaving after the kids go to sleep.

Maybe it justs me but I feel like everytime I mention that DH and me would like to go out to my mom she says bring him over. We have brought him there a few times at night and she never follows his routine. So he ends up going to bed later which is basically a nap because then I have to pick him on our way home and leaving him over night I won't do again unless necessary (like when I am at the hospital delivering). She commented on she gets bored when she comes over our house because the baby is already sleeping. I would ask my MIL but she doesnt drive on highways so my FIL or DH would have to pick her up and drive her home and they live in Queens. I just don't think it is fair that I have disrupt DS's sleeping for her convience. I have asked my sister to come by and she comes but then my mom ends up coming by because she doesn't want her here alone (she is 16) but stay's home alone at there house. My cousin has also come by for me but she just went to Europe for the entire summer. What's funny is that when I tell my mom that someone else is here watching him she always says you should've asked me.

I guess I am just venting because I feel we hardly went out in the 13 months DS has been around (I guess 7 o 8 times) and now that #2 is almost here and we are moving an hour to hour and half away from family we really won't be able to go out and I wish we did it more.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

They come here ... it's been the only way so far b/c of their bedtime. Occasionally we'll bring them out and feed them their last bottle elsewhere but it's too difficult to do that on a regular basis. They love (and need!) their routine!

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

it varies - my in-laws are more inclined to come here and my mom prefers Ella go there. If we're going to be late, I'd rather take her to my moms so that I don't have to worry about keeping anyone up late. Its easiest when I just let her sleep over at my parents. I haven't had her sleep over my in-laws yet.

When I have picked her up after she's been sleeping, she falls back asleep in the car seat and then right back in the crib.

While I understand its you don't want to disrupt DS's sleep or inconvenience your child, I also consider that they're doing you a favor by babysitting, so I try to make it as easy on them as possible.

Message edited 6/1/2007 8:23:33 AM.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

I think that if it's after Luca's bedtime then your mom should come to your house. Why change his routine - and what is she doing at her house that she can't do at yours?

ETA: Whenever any of us babysits for my cousin who has three boys we know that we are going to her house to babysit because they will be sleeping. That's just the way it is. I don't mind it at all.

Message edited 6/1/2007 8:38:10 AM.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

My mom watches DD and if we go out at night without her, I still bring her to her house. Then when we pick her up I just wake her and she goes to sleep in the car, then wake her again and she goes right down at home.

My mom can't sit still so she'd be bored at my house, so she'd rather have her at her house where she can get stuff done.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

To this day, Jack does not sleep well if he is not at home, so my mom comes here. Molly on the other hand is easy and woulld sleep over no problem.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

I hear ya!

My mom and day *always* come here when they babysit during the night. My ILs, on the other hand, have never come here--we're always going there. Which I guess is OK, but they *NEVER* put Katherine down to sleep!!! Her bedtime is 8pm. Now, I wouldn't mind 9 or maybe even 10--but we've come home at midnight and she's UP!!!

When all is said and done, however, I'm just really grateful to have any babysitters, so I really can't complain.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

My IL's will come here (reluctantly) but we always have to bring DS to my mom's if she's going to watch him. It's annoying bring that baby to my moms and then having to pick him up, but I know that even though Ds isn't at home, my mom follows my schedule to the T, whereas even though my ILs are at my house, they do whatever they want as far as routine and bedtime goes.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

We do it either way, but with that being said we let DS sleep over at IL's house so sometimes we drop him there and then pick him up the next day or sometimes they come here, like if we aren't going to be out too late then they will come and hang here.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

My IL's have no problem coming to my house to watch Julia, and I like it that way since I want her to be in bed by 9pm. My parents will babysit but Julia has to go to there house (i dont understand that at all) but I guess they want to be comfortable in there own house.....

Thats why my IL's watch her more!

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Well...we live in NJ, and my mom lives on LI...so sometimes she will come here to babysit..and then she will sleep over, rather than drive home late at night. If I'm out on LI visiting...I will either drive home at night or occassionaly sleep at my mom's. My IL's live in Florida, so that's not an option.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

My mom used to always want to have us bring dd there but then she started to see how disruptive that is to her schedule so now she will come to us.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

I hear ya! MIL comes over but only because she knows that we won't have it any other way. I know she would rather have him go to her house. We barely ask her because when we do, it feels as if she doesn't really want to come over. Unfortunately she is only sitter we have at the time.
You are not alone, we don't go out alone as much either. We always say to eachother when the kids are teenagers we'll be able to go out then.....by that time, we will be in our 40's

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Thanks everyone...I guess if someone asks me to watch their children I would assume it would be at their house and not mine. I do bring him their on the weekends after his monrning nap if she wants to watch. She is going to watch him tomorrow all day but then I feel bad for my DH because he only see's DS on the weekends because he comes home late and I feel like it is taking family time away.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

I putt DD to bed and then my mom sits on the couch and watches TV, it's an easy gig!

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

It depends. Usually only my MIL takes DD at night because my mom is always doing things.

If its on the weekend she will ask if we want to leave her overnight and at that case we bring her there (she is only 7 blocks or so from our house)

If it is just for a little bit she will come over.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Why don't you just tell her bringing DC over to her house is not convienent, and ask if she could come here. what is she doing at her house that she can't do at yours? Bring a book, I'm assuming you have a TV, talk on the phone, bring a craft, etc. I don't get it.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

i bring them to their houses..i never really thought of asking them to come over..i guess because i know they would be comfortable in their own home..plus they are doing me the favor of letting dh and i go out..my mom always follows her routine..my inlaws dont..but i guess thats the price i pay..i always know that dd will go down when we get in the car or home..it does break my heart seeing her awake when i get there..and i know she is tired..but if im not in the mood for it i dont go out.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

They come here.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Since it's free babysitting, I leave it up to them. Last night my mom came to our house because she feels bad having their schedule disrupted mid-week. Other times, if we're not out too late or we are out very late, they'll stay/sleep at her house.

If I absolutely need someone to watch them at my house, I would have to opt for a babysitter.

I think when your mom questions why you had someone else watch him, you should say "Because I didn't want to disrupt him. I'd rather him sleep in his own bed. Would you be willing to come here next time?"

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

once you move to nj you'll be wishing you had any kind of babysitter, i know i do! i always feel that when someone is doing me a favor that i should try to be as accommodating to their needs as possible, but i totally understand why you're frustrated. i think if our family was local they wouldn't mind coming to us. on the few occasions where my mom or ILs have babysat not only is it at their house, but i also have to drive to LI to drop him off. A few times we've needed to get a lot done over the weekend so I'll drop him off on Friday, stay for dinner, then drive home and he'll stay for friday and saturday night. i have gone to pick him up, but sometimes they will be nice enough to bring him home on sunday. i hate to leave him for the whole weekend especially because my DH is like yours and only gets to see DS on the weekends. i haven't found a local babysitter and really would love to find someone. after you move we should talk about setting up a babysitting swap.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

Well we live with my mother so if we go out after DD is sleeping we just go downstairs and bring her the monitor. My MIL lives in a tiny cluttered apartment which is a death trap for babies so the rare times she has watched DD it has been at our house.

Re: When you mom/MIL watch's your DC at night

My mom comes here and usually sleeps over. I honestly wouldn't really do it the other way around, to me it's not worth it. I would rather just not go out then. We'll see what IL's expect when they move here but I'm not changing to program so if they want to babysit they'll have to do it here.