who should have paid?

We had invited some of dh's extended family over and the text said "Want to do dinner, thinking take out?" They showed up and we ordered. Dh footed the entire bill, no.one offered to pay. They are all our age or little older. To us it was strange as when we do dinner with my friends or my family takeout is always split. No one even offered to take a.ride to pick it up with Dh.

Update. Thanks everyone. We usually cook for this part of the family so it never came up before. Dh was more taken aback by the fact that no one offered to come with him.

Message edited 4/12/2015 10:59:44 PM.

Re: who should have paid?

When I invite people over it is always my expectation that I am hosting them - so I would either cook them a meal or I would get takeout and expect to pay for it all.

who should have paid?

If we invite people over we always pay. We are hosting them. Someone will take a ride with dh. They would usually show up with dessert or wine

Re: who should have paid?

I would expect to pay if I were hosting.

However if I were the one invited over....I always offer $

who should have paid?

Ok. Thanks. For us it's just not the norm. No one bought anything, no dessert or anything so I was just taken back when no one offered since it's how we always do it with everyone else. Lesson learned.

who should have paid?

Whenever I invite people over, I always expect to pay....

Re: who should have paid?

If I am having girlfriends over and we order sushi or something we pay for ourselves. If dh and I have another couple over for dinner and decide to order instead of cook than we pay.

Usually someone would take the ride though but I feel like my dh would ask one of the other guys that were over if they wanted to go with him.

Re: who should have paid?

If I invite people over, I expect to pay.

I would have thought they would have brought a little dessert or something though.

Re: who should have paid?

Just to clarify- who sent the text? You, or them? If you invited them over but they decided they wanted to do dinner/takeout, then I'd think you'd split the bill or they'd offer to treat since it was their idea. If you're the ones who sent that text, then yes I would think you'd pick up the tab.

who should have paid?

When dh and I have friends or family over, we usually cook or order takeout, and we don't expect our guests to pay for their own food. Some guests bring dessert, which is always appreciated but never expected. I think as a guest its nice to bring a little something and/or offer to help out with little things like setting the table, clearing the table, taking a ride to pick up food, etc, but guests should not be expected to pay for the meal. Unless that is the norm with the family members you had over, in which case it would be strange if they usually split the takeout bill but didn't offer to while at your house.

Re: who should have paid?

Message edited 4/12/2015 10:11:58 PM.

Re: who should have paid?

Re: who should have paid?

I would have expected to pay, but they should have brought dessert and or wine. The only people who ever offer to pay for take out or split are both my parents and inlaws. When we go to our friends we bring desserts and wines.

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who should have paid?

As the host I would have paid but I am pretty sure every time I have done this the other people have always offered to pay and we insist on paying it all and never take anyone's money (well except maybe my parents)

who should have paid?

I would have offered to pay. And I never go to someone's house with my arms swinging. I would have brought wine at the very least and offered to pay.

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Re: who should have paid?

I've never heard of inviting people over and them splitting or paying the bill. Next time if you are unsure of your guests intentions, go out. Though, I'd probably foot that bill too. Just me.

Re: who should have paid?

We invite = we pay.

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Re: who should have paid?

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Re: who should have paid?

Same as the others. When we host we pay- whether it be us cooking, catering, or just ordering in a pizza or Chinese food.
Usually a friend will take a ride to get it with DH and sometimes they offer some money, but he never takes it.

Re: who should have paid?

If someone invites us over, I expect they will pay.

But, I've had the opposite happen. Friends in NJ invited us out for the day to BBQ. We took the hour train ride and brought wine.

Last minute, they decided to order in Italian and they chose the menu. We went with them to pick it up, so we could stay in the car and watch their son. When we got back to the house, they told us how much we owed them for the food (that we didn't select).

Needless to say, we have not been out there for dinner again.