Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Most people would jump at the chance. I have been toturing myself these last few months deciding if I want to be a SAHM or not. I've always worked and been a "career" girl.

I really love the company I work for. I get great travel perks. I am doing really well there and have been promoted several times within the last 5 years but I am kind of sick of the people on my team and if I want to advance, I would have to commute to headquaters in White Plains which I don't want to do. My commute into NYC right now is stinky although I do work from home alot. My boss is also preggo and honestly I am not looking forward for taking over when she leaves. I'm basically bored and she knows it. And part of me wants to escape.

Part of me is so excited to stay home with DD, but also scared about what a change it will be. We can afford it, but things we will definitely cut back on things. I also really like my daycare situation and DD likes it there too. I know if I did stay home, that I would finally be able to go to LIF GTGs and she would still have interaction with kids.

I also started looking for jobs here on LI. I had an interview yesterday at a place 10 minutes away from my house. I am pretty sure that I will get it, but it will be a huge paycut (around $35k), but my work/life balance will be so much better.

Should I just quit already, stay home and if I don't like it, go back to work?

Sorry that I am rambling - I am just so on the fence!

Any opinions would be great. Thanks!!

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Is there any way you could work part time? I am very fortunate that my boss lets me work 3 days a week. I have a great balance b/c honestly, I am not cut out to be a FT SAHM and also would be miserable working FT b/c on the days I work, I only get to see my DC for an hour and a half before bed.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Is there an option of staying where you are and only doing a couple of days per week?

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Do you have the option to go back if you wanted (to the same job)? If so, that makes the decision a little bit easier....I'd say try it, try staying home. The only other thing I was thinking is that it would probably be better to make the move after the winter is over...b/c being a sahm during the winter could get boring with not too many things to do.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

No possibility of part time. If I went back to work, I would only look for LI jobs. I am done with commuting!

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Things change when you have a child. I hate my job, but it is very flexible for me to change my hours around DH's work schedule. I get great benefits and pretty good money. It's also 5 minutes from my house.

If I didn't have DS, I'd be looking elsewhere and looking for a longer commute. But right now, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because of this job, we don't have to do daycare. DH and I watch him on a rotation. I had been promoted before getting PG, but I went back to my old job after having him. I didn't want to go back to overnights, but it was the best for DS.

Not sure if this helps you, but you always have to figure out what's best for you. If you are iffy on your job, and know your commute can get longer, do you think you'll be happy?

Children need us to be happy, not wealthy.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

OMG, i am going through exactly the same dilemma. i would love all opinions !!

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Honestly, if you're that unhappy there I would quit and keep your eyes open for something that excites you on LI. But, I wouldn't take a position on LI just for the heck of it - doesn't sound like that's your solution. Hey, isn't LIF hiring ?

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Posted by SweetCaroline

Hey, isn't LIF hiring ?

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

Posted by Tine73

Posted by SweetCaroline

Hey, isn't LIF hiring ?

Too bad it's for a telemarketing job -otherwise, I'd be all over it!

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

I know how you feel about commuting into the city - when I left the city I knew I wouldn't go back - I just got to the point where I hated the train so much.

There were times I didn't mind it - but then at the end - it got really bad.

This is a really hard decision and one that you don't want to end up regretting. It sounds like you have a great gig (as did I when I worked full time) and it's a very hard thing to walk away from. I left ALOT of money in the city bc I knew I couldn't be away from my future son (wasn't preggo at the time) from 7am-8pm. That wasn't right for me. DH was on board with anything I decided to do - and I don't regret it one bit. I sell RE to make extra cash to help out - but we live on DH's salary. The one and only thing that I've changed is my shopping. I still shop alot - but just at different stores now! When I used to shop at Bendels -- now I'm shopping at Target!

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

There was no way I could continue with my commute after having a baby.

Becoming a SAHM has been great. Money is a lot tighter...but I don't have any guilt or regret about the decision ever.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

I think anytime you're facing a decision which affects your lifestyle, it's not easy. I was in a similar position to you when DS was born last Summer. I really struggled with the decision but ultimately decided to switch my schedule to a part time one where I'm in the office 5 days per week from 9-2 and then I'm home with DS in the afternoon.

It's been great but now that DS is 1, I feel like I should be home with him more. DH and I have talked and I'm most likely going to stop working after we have another child. The thought still terrifies me because I've worked my whole life.

If you were to stay home, could you DC still go to daycare on a part-time basis? That way she would still have the interraction she likes. If I were in your situation, I would probably stay home. Not only because it drives me crazy when I'm bored at work but because you never know what will happen in the future and if you'll have this opportunity again.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

I had an equally hard time deciding to leave my old job. We have talked and you know, I loved my old position. I loved the work, the people, the environment, for a FT job it was a good overall balance with work/family. But DH wanted me home more with DS and I felt bad that ILs were watching DS all day every day and we aren’t ready to put him in daycare.
So after months of crying and losing sleep I took the plunge, quit my job. But I went to another company and work PT. I work 3 days and really it’s a great balance for me. I love working, I love getting out of the house to do my own thing. Yet I have time with DS and I can do more with him and see him grow more.
Would there be a possibility that you can cut back your current job to 3 days in the office? Or 2?
My thought now is take the chance you can always go back to work FT or PT or not at all. But you don’t want to regret never trying. I am sure you are valued at your current company and if the opportunity presented itself down the line I am sure they would take you back.
GL deciding!

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

It sounds as though you are done with the city. I would probably look for something either p/t or f/t on LI. You mentioned a paycut but keep looking, maybe something with a little more money will come up making the transition easier. It's hard to go from getting a paycheck to nothing, I know that from experience. It sounds like you still want to work, even a little, to keep up that part of your life. Like you said, you could always resign and stay home for a while. If it really wasn't for you, then find something on LI. Good luck with your decision.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

I've only ever worked pt. But, that said if your current situation is working, my inclination would be to hang on a bit longer. I also think that situations sometimes change if, or when, you decide to have another child. At that point you may be willing to push for pt or a different arrangement, or you will just leave with a clear head.

The new job sounds interesting but, you really don't know what you're getting and the pay cut is huge.

I've been a mom for 11 years and what I have seen is that the mom's who left corporate jobs entirely have a really hard time getting back into the market. A lot of my friends actually went back to school while they were home to prepare for more family friendly careers (they became speech pathologists, librians, and occupational therapists).

So, not really sure what I'm saying but I would have a hard time leaving a situation that was working.

Just some thoughts. I know these decisions are really, really hard to make.

GL

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

If I were you, I would not think about twice. Can you come back to your job once your DD goes to school? If so, DO IT! What I wouldn't do to be able to stay at home with my son or at least work part-time.

Re: Why am I having such a hard time with this? WWYD?

I was in a similar situtaion. i didn't stop working until I had our second child. I would suggest sticking it out a little longer - if you can until you are a little more sure. Maybe finish out the year (only a couple of months) and see how you feel after the holidays.

I know, the salaries in LI are not so good and the positions are few and far between (depending on what work you are into).

It is a big adjustment - at least it was for me. I've been home since January and just this week I have "come to terms" with the fact that I'm a SAHM.

I did finad a decent job but in the end I turned it down (which I still kick myself about). But, my husband I am talked about it and if I am going to be home then be home--stop interviewing.

Good luck with whatever you decide.