Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

I know you will all understand because you all know how hard it is to watch your body change. Even though it's for a beautiful amazing thing, it's still hard.

I have two stories. Last week my sister said "You look like you have a beer gut, where's the baby". Then she proceeds to say "Your face got so chunky". Great real nice and I guess that's supposed to make me feel good.

Then just last night someone told me that she thinks I'm having a girl because "my face changed". A male friend who was standing right there (who doesn't know all those stupid wives tales) asked what's that supposed to mean. She basically said well when your having a girl you gain weight everywhere including your face. She then precedes to say "your nose gets wider and everything". After that everyone standing there gave her the look of death. My husband was about to flip on her.

Now is it just me or do comments like this truly hurt? There is a way of saying things in a nicer way, but why do people feel the need to make pregnant woman feel like crap about themselves?!? I know I'm supposed to gain weight and I know that its necessary to sustain a healthy pregnancy. The baby needs it so I'm not that worried about it. However when people make comments about my weight it's more poking fun of the fact that I'm fat and not pregnant. There's a nice way to say things about pregnancy, I just don't understand why people can't do that?!


This part of pregnancy really stinks sometimes. What are you supposed to have your self esteem plummet every five seconds?!?!?!

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

I don't get this either. My sister looked at me the other day and said I thought your skin gets better during pregnancy not worse. Thanks!

It's like all of a sudden people loose their ability to be tactful.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Its amazing what people think is appropriate to say to pregnant women!

I had a guy doing my hair say : so there is really only 1 in there?? lol Like really? I'm not that big and you think I'm having twins?

Then my UPS store lady said: you sure you aren't having a girl? They say girls take your beauty....really???

I honestly don't get how people don't see that it's hurtful! lol

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

ugh, how frustrating! no one has said anything to me yet because they know i will argue with them until i am blue in the face about how unnecessary those comments are; i made it clear from day 1 that i didn't want to hear it. the only one i could imagine (out of family and friends) breaking my rule is my DH's grandma...she tells me i'm the biggest person she's ever met all the time because of my height, so i can't wait to see what other things she'll have to say now .

don't be afraid to say something back! people are so insensitive sometimes . i am sure you look BEAUTIFUL.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

i just dont get people i mean your pregnant - how do they want you to look and why they say these things i never understand

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

I totally understand your frustrations... I think it has happened to all of us. It really does hurt and I just don't understand why it is so hard to comprehend for some people. The funny part of it is... every rude/hurtful comment that I've received has come from either a very overweight person or a woman who has had children before. If a man were to say it, I feel like it would be more acceptable bc they have NO CLUE what it's like to be pregnant and have your body change so much. I know it's easier said than done bc the comments upset me to, but just try to ignore them.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Posted by Maria31

I totally understand your frustrations... I think it has happened to all of us. It really does hurt and I just don't understand why it is so hard to comprehend for some people. The funny part of it is... every rude/hurtful comment that I've received has come from either a very overweight person or a woman who has had children before. If a man were to say it, I feel like it would be more acceptable bc they have NO CLUE what it's like to be pregnant and have your body change so much. I know it's easier said than done bc the comments upset me to, but just try to ignore them.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

People just do not think before they speak, especially family members, I think they think they are entitled to say whatever they want! Do what I do, if someone tells me I look bad etc I simple reply "well im creating a life here, its hard.. whats your excuse?"


I have a friend (pretty close friend too) that did nothing but put me down my entire pregnancy.. "You are so cute, but your a$$ got big", "Geez how much weight did you gain!" etc etc.. It really hurt my feelings and I have been so distant from her lately.

Try and ignore all those stupid comments, I am sure you look beautiful....

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

People are very rude sometimes. Please don't take it personal, you are beautiful and so is your baby!!

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

When I was pregnant with DD, I bent down to pay my waxer and she proceeds to tell me "oh ya you're def having a girl" She's lucky I paid her...ppl really are just morons sometimes

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Some people think they have license to say whatever just because your pregnant...it totally s ucks. Just ignore them.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

People are rude and don't know how to think before they speak.. You have to learn to ignore them and know you are gaging weight like you should for a healthy baby and I am sure you still look great!!

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

People can be so insensitive. I'm sorry you had to hear these stupid comments

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Thanks! I wish I could learn to ignore people but I really feel like punching people in the face when they say such rude insensitive things!

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

People think your pregnancy gives them free reign to discuss your weight and changing body. I hear ya, it's so annoying.

I've vowed to just tell pregnant women from now on that they look great!
Most people tell me they think I'm having a boy, but this weekend a few people were saying girl, because "my face changed." I flat out said that I've learned from all this that if I think someone's having a girl, I'm not going to say it. I'd much rather hear I'm having a boy since most people say "because you're glowing, or you're all belly," but I'm just not sure how to take it when people tell me they think it's a girl because "you're carrying wide or your face changed." It's like, um, thanks.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Crashing.....I am so sorry this happened and I agree w/all the other ladies ppl are so silly and stupid and you have to kinda let it roll off your back. Its really sad that ppl can behave that way to a pregnant woman Its todays society. I mean ppl have no prob calling a woman who is overweight fat. Please dont let ppls stupid comments take away from this beautiful and amazing gift that you have been given! You deserve to enjoy this whole journey.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Sorry this happened. I think we have all been there; I have had my share of comments, and they usually occur when I'm feeling great about how I look. We all know we're gonna gain weight, that we need to gain weight, however, I would be LYING if I said I find this easy. It's not easy to see your body change before your eyes, even if you KNOW it's for something beautiful. It can be hard and I don't know why people aren't sensitive to this. I have never once asked someone except for DH and my own mom, "Hey how do I look?" So if I don't ask you, I don't know why people think they can tell me, as they have before:

I can't imagine you getting any bigger than this!
Wow, your face is clearer (was I pizza face before?!)
You popped! (I was 8 weeks)
Oh, NOW I see it's a girl.
Wow, I haven't seen you in awhile. You're bigger! (gee, that's the funny thing about pregnancy)

I don't get it. The only thing I've ever told a pregnant woman is: How do you feel? You look beautiful!
Hang in there; you're certainly not alone and I am sure you're a stunner! To be fair, I do have people who are so nice telling me I look great. My family and inlaws always do....it's just the neg. comments that tend to stick and I focus on them.

Message edited 10/29/2010 12:45:37 PM.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

I hear ya. Kristin, my own FATHER says hello to me everytime he see's me and say's "hey Fatty" and then proceeds to walk like the statepuff marshmallow man. I finally turned around an yelled at him one time and was like "enough with the F*cking fat jokes already, i'm sensitive enough about my weight". Then i told him don't worry, you won't be saying that after the babies are born because i am getting right back into a workout as soon as i have clearance from the Dr. Then his girlfriend proceeds to say "well, you better lose it within 3 months of having those babies otherwise you will NEVER lose the weight". i mean really lady? I am have a c-section. They say not to workout for 8 weeks or until medical clearance from your Dr. So you're telling me i have a month to lose it. Go eff yourself! I hate people sometimes!

ETA: I've seen some recent pics of you on FB and i so don't think you're face has changed.

Message edited 10/29/2010 12:47:20 PM.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

I totally understand! My MIL tells me I'm HUGEEEEEEEE every time she sees me. And then she compares me to DHs cousin that just had a baby. Saying how shes smaller than me.
Really, shes not. We're like the same size.
I get that its fun to have a baby belly.. I love having mine..but I DON'T like to be called HUGE every day, I really don't!
I'm going to snap one day and call her old or something.

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Posted by luckysmom

I hear ya. Kristin, my own FATHER says hello to me everytime he see's me and say's "hey Fatty" and then proceeds to walk like the statepuff marshmallow man. I finally turned around an yelled at him one time and was like "enough with the F*cking fat jokes already, i'm sensitive enough about my weight". Then i told him don't worry, you won't be saying that after the babies are born because i am getting right back into a workout as soon as i have clearance from the Dr. Then his girlfriend proceeds to say "well, you better lose it within 3 months of having those babies otherwise you will NEVER lose the weight". i mean really lady? I am have a c-section. They say not to workout for 8 weeks or until medical clearance from your Dr. So you're telling me i have a month to lose it. Go eff yourself! I hate people sometimes!

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

People really can be jerks. I used to work with a miserable old woman, she used to say to me "doesn't your Dr think you are gaining too much weight?"

One day she said to me, "you must be having a girl, you know a girl steals her mother's beauty" so I said to her "Wow, I'm sorry your daughter never gave you yours back"

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?

Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08

Posted by luckysmom

I hear ya. Kristin, my own FATHER says hello to me everytime he see's me and say's "hey Fatty" and then proceeds to walk like the statepuff marshmallow man. I finally turned around an yelled at him one time and was like "enough with the F*cking fat jokes already, i'm sensitive enough about my weight". Then i told him don't worry, you won't be saying that after the babies are born because i am getting right back into a workout as soon as i have clearance from the Dr. Then his girlfriend proceeds to say "well, you better lose it within 3 months of having those babies otherwise you will NEVER lose the weight". i mean really lady? I am have a c-section. They say not to workout for 8 weeks or until medical clearance from your Dr. So you're telling me i have a month to lose it. Go eff yourself! I hate people sometimes!

Wow! I'm sorry. It's just not right. I don't understand the fat jokes anyway. We're freaking pregnant for gods sake!!! I'm just going to continue to tell people it's temporary, what's your excuse!?!? I might not be so nice about it next time too! These comments are just so rude and uncalled for and to hear it from my own family makes me sick!

Re: Why do people say such mean things towards pregnant women?!?