| Posted By |
Message |
mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
|
Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
DH's mom came into town since the baby is due next week. We went to see her yesterday, and she made it a point to say (in front of my BIL and SIL and kids) "she really hasn't gotten very big, and her breasts haven't grown at all".  At that point, they all looked at me and looked down..and I got so embarressed, angry and felt humiliated at the same time. I must have had steam coming out of my ears. I looked at her and said "FYI...they HAVE grown but it's not anyones business if they have or haven't". I told DH I thought that was really rude..and he said "that's my mom, she doesn't really think before she speaks". I replied "well she'll be hearing it from me..because that's JUST ME!".
The nerve!!! Am I wrong for feeling humiliated?
Message edited 7/30/2007 10:55:28 PM.
|
Posted 7/30/07 10:55 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
ahhhhh...another one who suffers from "open mouth insert foot syndrome". I dont know why people feel the need to comment upon pregnant womens appearances in ways that they never would another person.
|
| Posted 7/30/07 11:18 PM |
| |
|
twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
WOW, and I though my MIL was bad.
|
| Posted 7/30/07 11:20 PM |
| |
|
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
 You have every right to be upset. She sounds like my MIL and your DH's comment is one that my DH has said to me. I basically told him if she thinks it is ok to speak to me that way she will not see her grandchild. I made him speak with her about what she said and she is better. Please don't copy this post. thanks.
|
| Posted 7/30/07 11:21 PM |
| |
|
MsG
Should be working
Member since 5/05 2824 total posts
Name:
G
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
You're not wrong at all. Some people are really careless and think that us being pg gives them the right to comment on our appearance. 
|
| Posted 7/31/07 2:09 AM |
| |
|
raken40
soooo in love:)
Member since 5/05 4369 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
what nerve!!! I'd be very annoyed!
|
| Posted 7/31/07 6:41 AM |
| |
|
alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
omg, people never cease to amaze me. stuff comes out of their mouths that would NEVER be said if you weren't pregnant!
just last week one of my supervisors just looked at me and was like "oh, you're VERY small, so TINY!". which made me so defensive - my baby is growing just fine, thank you very much!
then at the hospital a couple days ago, a nurse asked me if i was having any leg swelling and started pressing down on my calves. i was like no... they're just big, i just naturally have big legs and they're even bigger now! at one point i got up to go to the bathroom, and she goes, "you're right, you DO just have big legs!" 
so people just can't seem to make up their minds about my size, but somehow everyone thinks it's ok to comment on it! i just have to laugh
|
| Posted 7/31/07 7:50 AM |
| |
|
christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
I get the "you're so tiny" bit all the time, which I now choose to take as a compliment. However my MIL is the ONLY ONE who refers to me as "big girl"...it makes me crazy!
|
| Posted 7/31/07 8:46 AM |
| |
|
Eleanor
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 2223 total posts
Name:
Ellie
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Posted by mitabtrfly
I told DH I thought that was really rude..and he said "that's my mom, she doesn't really think before she speaks". I replied "well she'll be hearing it from me..because that's JUST ME!".
My DH was notorious for explaining his mom this way too, until recently I started standing up for myself - so good for you! I don't think it's acceptable to be excused b/c you are insensitive - especially to a pregnant woman.
|
| Posted 7/31/07 8:53 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
At least she is family. I had a coworker that I am not even friendly with tell me I am all belly and boobs. That made me feel uncomfortable.
|
| Posted 7/31/07 9:27 AM |
| |
|
Bklyngrl
luvmyfamily
Member since 9/06 5307 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
i swear this pregnancy has been a MAJOR learning experience. EVERYONE has something to say and most people do not think at all before they speak. I've had my feelings hurt more times than i care to say. but here's a funny one ...i was in a supermarket a few weeks ago and of course needed to use the ladies room so i asked a woman that worked there, she said follow me and walked me toward the back/employee lounge area, telling me "how far along are you - she said i looked small (i don't) i remember those days, my daughter was 10lbs, she ripped me, i needed 30 stitches, was in ICU and i should have sued the docs but back then i was young & stupid" and then she went on about cocoa butter and how she got no stretch marks, she proceeded to unbutton her pants and pull up her shirt to show me her pelvis???
I only wanted to be pointed to the ladies room 
|
| Posted 7/31/07 9:49 AM |
| |
|
alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Posted by Bklyngrl
i swear this pregnancy has been a MAJOR learning experience. EVERYONE has something to say and most people do not think at all before they speak. I've had my feelings hurt more times than i care to say. but here's a funny one ...i was in a supermarket a few weeks ago and of course needed to use the ladies room so i asked a woman that worked there, she said follow me and walked me toward the back/employee lounge area, telling me "how far along are you - she said i looked small (i don't) i remember those days, my daughter was 10lbs, she ripped me, i needed 30 stitches, was in ICU and i should have sued the docs but back then i was young & stupid" and then she went on about cocoa butter and how she got no stretch marks, she proceeded to unbutton her pants and pull up her shirt to show me her pelvis???
I only wanted to be pointed to the ladies room
|
| Posted 7/31/07 11:24 AM |
| |
|
mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Posted by Bklyngrl
i swear this pregnancy has been a MAJOR learning experience. EVERYONE has something to say and most people do not think at all before they speak. I've had my feelings hurt more times than i care to say. but here's a funny one ...i was in a supermarket a few weeks ago and of course needed to use the ladies room so i asked a woman that worked there, she said follow me and walked me toward the back/employee lounge area, telling me "how far along are you - she said i looked small (i don't) i remember those days, my daughter was 10lbs, she ripped me, i needed 30 stitches, was in ICU and i should have sued the docs but back then i was young & stupid" and then she went on about cocoa butter and how she got no stretch marks, she proceeded to unbutton her pants and pull up her shirt to show me her pelvis???
I only wanted to be pointed to the ladies room
HOLY!
|
| Posted 7/31/07 1:39 PM |
| |
|
boobanick
GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 4/07 1223 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
One of my grandmother's friends asks her if i am having twins... I am due in October and my belly is not that big especially to be having twins!!!!! I just laugh it off otherwise I will be crying all the time... People just dont realize that they shouldnt say anything to a prego women.. and not to mention that my aunt everytime she sees me she goes ohh you got fat... ummm hellllllo i have a baby inside of me..... i told my mother to warn her not to say anything anymore b/c she is not going to like what i am going to reply to her in front of everyone....
|
| Posted 7/31/07 1:47 PM |
| |
|
alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Posted by boobanick
One of my grandmother's friends asks her if i am having twins... I am due in October and my belly is not that big especially to be having twins!!!!! I just laugh it off otherwise I will be crying all the time... People just dont realize that they shouldnt say anything to a prego women.. and not to mention that my aunt everytime she sees me she goes ohh you got fat... ummm hellllllo i have a baby inside of me..... i told my mother to warn her not to say anything anymore b/c she is not going to like what i am going to reply to her in front of everyone....
i often think about just calling people out on it. like, what if you said to your aunt something like, "you know what, i really find your fat comments rude, please keep them to yourself".
or i also fantasize about saying something equally mean back, if it's appropriate. like, someone says 'oh, you got fat", and i would reply, "that's funny, i was just thinking the same thing about you! i just don't make it a habit of commenting on people's flaws". 
clearly i've got too much time on my hands
|
| Posted 7/31/07 2:03 PM |
| |
|
mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
|
| Posted 7/31/07 5:03 PM |
| |
|
Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Posted by boobanick
One of my grandmother's friends asks her if i am having twins... I am due in October and my belly is not that big especially to be having twins!!!!! I just laugh it off otherwise I will be crying all the time... People just dont realize that they shouldnt say anything to a prego women.. and not to mention that my aunt everytime she sees me she goes ohh you got fat... ummm hellllllo i have a baby inside of me..... i told my mother to warn her not to say anything anymore b/c she is not going to like what i am going to reply to her in front of everyone....
about 8 weeks ago my grandma asked me if i was having twins. At that point I had only gained like 7 lbs... Then she proceeded to the bathroom where she weighed herself and then announced she was 103 lbs...
|
| Posted 7/31/07 6:37 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Gotta love MILs!! 
|
| Posted 7/31/07 7:18 PM |
| |
|
DUCKS2001
Then there was 2
Member since 3/06 5696 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
ahhh i am sorry that happened. my girls on top only grew 1 size up if that makes you feel better.
|
| Posted 7/31/07 7:54 PM |
| |
|
mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
Posted by DUCKS2001
ahhh i am sorry that happened. my girls on top only grew 1 size up if that makes you feel better.
My girls did too and I was so proud of them..until she had to go and say otherwise. I'm sure after they will get even bigger. Maybe then I'll flash her..
|
| Posted 7/31/07 8:26 PM |
| |
|
USAFmrs
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 796 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
lol-- i made my own jokes about no boobs for me... but if my MIL said it-- id probably smack her
|
| Posted 7/31/07 10:41 PM |
| |
|
aliasPook
Blessed x 3
Member since 6/05 2460 total posts
Name:
Laurie
|
Re: Why do people say these things and think it's ok?
You look G R E A T!
|
| Posted 8/1/07 7:19 AM |
| |
|
