Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

i'm a speech therapist.. i think we've talked before. i know its frustrating when they can't communicate!!
does he immitate any sounds, like animal sounds or "uh oh", "beep beep" "choo choo", those kinds of things?? thats the first step to having him immitate and use words. when i worked in EI, the kids LOVED bubbles! so i would blow the bubbles, then say "POP! POP! POP!" while i or the kids ran around popping them. the kids LOVED this, and eventually would start immiating the "POP POP" sound after me. also: this was a great way to get the word "more" out of them. if they were enjoying the bubbles, i would stop all the sudden. then i would model and get them to try to say or sign "more" before i would start blowing them again. its REALLY motivating to make them want to say more. same thing with a snack- only give him a few bites of somehting you know he loves to eat, and then model "more" for him. if he has a toy that makes noise or plays music that he likes... turn it off and then model/make him say "more" before you turn it on. "more" is a good one to start with because they get something for saying it... so it shows them that "hey, using words works! theres a reason i should talk!"
these kinds of things help because you find something they like, so they are motivated to want to use more words... its not like you're sitting there going " say milk, say milk, say milk"
but really- it comes down to some kinds take longer to "take it all in" and learn language before they start using it...

Message edited 12/15/2008 11:03:03 PM.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

eh, because people are all different some kids talk early, others much later... doesn't have anything to do with intelligence... just like growth curves, some are in the 95%ile while others are in the fifth....

There's a part of me that suspects it may have more to do with shyness... shy kids may not want to draw attention to themselves... and may not want to make any mistakes. just my suspicion......

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

I know its hard not to worry. We had my son evaluated for speech at 2 years old because he really wasn't saying much. He passed everything at a 36 month old level, so we never pursued anything because he tested really well. Wouldn't you know it, a week or two later he just exploded and never stopped. My DD talked a lot sooner, age wise. I just think she needed to get a word in edgewise over DS

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by CathyB

I know this isn't the case for you, but my dd would talk for my ds, so he didn't really need to say anything b/c she took care of it for him. Once he started going to school and had to speak up for himself it really got a lot better.

One of my mom's friends was recently venting to my mom about how her son and his wife constantly ask their toddler ds what he wants, they never give him the chance to ask for anything. My mom's friend is a pediatric nurse so she's pretty familiar with child development.

I hope EI gets back to you soon.

Message edited 4/29/2009 1:47:28 AM.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by nbc188

Well, as others have said, I don't really get why some kids are slower with some things and faster with others. As you know, DD's issues are with food...so even though she's a good talker, she's not a good eater. So for some reason, she's "wired" that way. It is definitely stressful, I agree

ETA: For some reason, DD LIKES looking at me to learn new words. If she tries to say a word and it doesn't come out right, I say "C, look at mommy", and she'll stop what she's doing 99% of the time and watch me move my lips VERY slowly pronouncing the word for her, and she'll repeat it. And then she knows how to correctly say it from then on.

BUT, I've given this child 1 million bananas in her life, and she acts as though they're ALL poison and I'm nuts for giving them to her (and it's not just that she doesn't like bananas, she doesn't like much food at all! ) And Jack has her beat hands down with being a great eater, trying all kinds of new things and loving fruits & veggies!

Message edited 12/15/2008 11:30:08 PM.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

When it comes to speech development, my boys are like night and day. At 20 months, Jayden is say 3-4 word sentences where Nate barely said 20 words.

I remember wondering the same thing as you when Nate was 16 months. He had maybe 10-15 words at most, but understood everything you said. We had him evaluated at 17 months and he didn't qualify. They told us to bring him back in 3months. He qualified at 20 months, but it took almost 8 weeks to start speech therapy once a week.

Through the state EI program, Nate worked with the therapist from 22 months to 3yrs. After a few months, there was a noticeable difference in his speech. He was saying more words and getting less frustrated when trying to express himself. Around 2.5 yrs, his vocabulary exploded. Now we can't get him to stop talking. He still sees the therapist 2x month, but we pay for the sessions. The therapist recently told us that he's at the point where anything he needs improvement on will come as he matures. We just needed to keep doing what we were doing.

All I can say is keep following up with the EI people. If they say he doesn't qualify, request to get an appoint 2-3 months later if you don't see an improvement in his development. Also ask them for tips on what you can do with him at home to encourage his expression.

Good Luck!

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

I honestly just think that there are two things with talking...one is that all kids just develop differently and sometimes their vocal abilities don't develop as well as other kids do. And the other thing, especially in the case of my son, is pure laziness. He can say "sss" and hissy sounds because he does on ocassion, but for the most part, he doesn't say them.

But I think the really important thing to remember is don't compare your kid with other kids, that can be soul destroying and will make you feel worse!

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by Diana1215

Thanks - I know eventually he will talk - but I have to admit - it is very hard to read on here that some kids - who are younger then him - have words in the double digits- and he hardly says anything at all.

Damn LIF

Message edited 12/16/2008 7:31:04 AM.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by Seles81

Posted by CathyB

I know this isn't the case for you, but my dd would talk for my ds, so he didn't really need to say anything b/c she took care of it for him. Once he started going to school and had to speak up for himself it really got a lot better.

One of my mom's friends was recently venting to my mom about how her son and his wife constantly ask their toddler ds what he wants, they never give him the chance to ask for anything. My mom's friend is a pediatric nurse so she's pretty familiar with child development.

I hope EI gets back to you soon.

This was my first thought since you said he is around so many children and enrolled in classes.

I know for us, Luka had a lot of words by this age and Danijela only says a few but understands everything were as Luka I don't think did. Luka will some times tell me what she wants.
I am not sure if he still uses a pacifier, but I noticed that DD said a few more words once I had DD stop taking it out of the crib.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by leighla

Posted by Diana1215

Thanks - I know eventually he will talk - but I have to admit - it is very hard to read on here that some kids - who are younger then him - have words in the double digits- and he hardly says anything at all.

Damn LIF

See, I think this is the crux of the situation. (Not just for you, but for lots of us.)

If I just had Logan and no LIF, no other friends with kids, I would not be worried at all.

He understands me, he signs, he is very clear in his preferences for things.

But when I read that someone who labeled her son as a "late talker" at the same age as my son and he now has 119 words, I start to think "Is something wrong with Logan?"

And then I had this epiphany the other day that we (the parents) are the victims of over communication ourselves.

We are constantly sharing our kids victories and progressions - there are probably 100 of us with kids around the same age in each age group.

And the ones that post the "great" things make the rest of us think our kid is behind.

But for every 5 kids that are "excelling" there are 95 of us not at that stage yet.

Are there some kids who are genuinely behind and need EI? Of course.

Are there some kids who are genuinely ahead of the curve? Of course.

Is it human nature for us to compare and want our kids to be the best? Of course.

But I also think it's normal for kids to struggle and get frustrated at this age. There is SO much to learn and take in.

Now this is not to say that anyone should feel bad about posting things that their kids do, but that all the rest of us need to take everything with a grain of salt.

ETA: Sorry for the rant, but I've been thinking a LOT about this lately.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

How old is Jack??? I can speak from experience. Paige was evaluated at 18 months for not talking. She wouldnt even say mama, but she could understand everything i asked her to do.

Needless to say, the the evaluator came Paige didnt qualify. She understood too much and with that the evaluator said that speech would come soon after.

Now at 23 months, she says a lot of words. Yes, a lot of words dont make sense, but she says them. But most of her words are clear. Have Jack evaluated, but if he is really good at understanding things and he is babbling things he most likely will not qualify.

Paige still has yet to use sentences, but Im sure that will come in time. some advice the lady told us was to always say what Jack would want. For example, Paige would always want to be picked up, so instead of just picking her up when she put her arms up we would say "UP" and after 3 days of doing that, guess what....she said "UP". It was her first word. I was amazed when I heard it come out. Since then she has learn so many new words.

Im sure Jack is fine and that words will come eventually - it just might take time. GL with your evaluation. I hope everything works out.

Message edited 12/16/2008 7:54:58 AM.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Coming from a mom who has an almost 3 year old that is not yet talking, I don't know. It is so frustrating for them and my heart breaks for Ryan sometimes because he knows exactly what he wants, but can't tell me. I wish I could just flip a switch in him and start the words!!

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

I come from a family of 6 children. I spoke in sentences at 18 months old. My brother however didn't talk until close to his 3rd bday. However he walked at 11 months and I was a bit later I think.

My husband started talking at 2.5, his sister was around 16 months.

It's so so hard sometimes to see children talking up a storm who are the same age as your child and you wonder "why haven't they started yet". But its based upon the connections they've made. My son walked at 9 months!! But his first word didn't really erupt until 19 months.

I try not to look into it too much anymore. They all learn in their own time. If the receptive skills are there (understanding what people are saying) then I wouldn't worry.

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Maybe he's just not ready -

My cousin didn't say a word until she was almost 4 years old ........She's now the Doctor in the family, graduating 1st in her medical school class .......

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

I know that in my situation it is an attention issue. But Steven has SPD, which means that it is very difficult for him to focus on what we are saying to him and put all of his senses together...hearing, watching our lips move, coordinating the muscles in his mouth, thinking, and finally actually getting the words out...it's like sensory overload for him. For some children, they automatically know how to do all of those things. They automatically know how to focus. You don't even have to teach them certain things, they learn it from observing and hearing. But, some kids, like mine, they have to be taught. It is very frustrating. It is very diffult for us as parents. I cry to myself on an almost daily basis because of the stress and I even go as far as saying that I wish I never started this EI process. BUT...I know it's what he needs.

Diana, he will be fine! It is going to be a little difficult...but he'll catch on. I really think that a lot of it has to do with the standards being so high for these kids. Steven's therapist said that he should be doing things on the 3+ age level. I'm like...he just turned 2 for goodness sake

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Ella got off to a slow start with talking. At 12 months, she had 3 words: mama, dada, squish (the cat). Those 3 words stuck around a LONG time! Occasionally she would throw another word out, but it wasn't until 18-19 months that her vocabulary really began exploding. And once that started, there was no stopping her. It was like she was saving up all the information until she could use it properly and unleash it all at once.

Now, (she's 2.5) she amazes me everyday with the things she says - the complex thoughts and sentences. We actually have conversations!

I don't think you need to worry yet!

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

The fact that he understands everything is a really, really good thing. Because that is the first step in language.

Kids need the following before they can speak:

*A need or a desire to speak

*Something to speak about

*The cognitive ability to transfer and translate that need/desire into the right words for the situation

*The physical ability to speak

The list above happens at different times for different kids. Sometimes the 1st 3 happen for a while before the last thing (the physical ability) really kicks in

I think it is a huge combination of:

Genetics
Exposure to speech
Exposure to things around them
Necessity

If things are within the child's reach at all times, there is no "need" to speak. Being the good moms that we are, we know our child's wants and needs before they do - so they may never really have the "need" to speak. Which leaves the "desire" to speak.

Speaking because you WANT to speak about somehting is a social thing. One evening with your husband should give you a clue as to how much a male speaks to begin with. Boys do not speak on the same level as girls, because they are just not on the same social level as girls.

This is not an opinion, this is actually a fact. Tons and tons and tons of studies out there on neurotypical boys and men and language.

Of course, there are things that can get in the way: apraxia, and poor oral motor skills. Like anything else, if speaking is too much of an effort for the child, he/she will not do it as often.

This goes for walking or anything else. A child realizes walking is too hard, so he crawls to where he needs to go. It works for him, so why put it that extra effort?

He doesn't care that mommy wants to see him walk. He cares about going to where he needs to go!

Same with talking. If it's easy, he will do it. But if it's a lot of effort, and there are other ways that are easier to communicate, who not go with the easier option?

Cailen CAN speak, but it's easier for him to grunt and point. If it works for him (and usually, it does!) then WHY would he make the effort to say the word or articulate? I have to systematically up the ante to shape his speech, so he is always putting in a wee bit more effort than last time, but still getting the pay off.

He says certain words very well because he enjoys saying them. Language that represents enjoyable things can be reinforcing to say, so that will happen as the first words, for the most part.

Also, some words have more power than other words. Mommy/Mama can mean:

I need you
I want juice
Carry me
Feed me
turn on Yo Gabba Gabba
etc.

So, why say that whole list if Mommy works just as well?

HTH - it's a sort of rudimentary explanation

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by Diana1215

Thanks - I know eventually he will talk - but I have to admit - it is very hard to read on here that some kids - who are younger then him - have words in the double digits- and he hardly says anything at all.

Damn LIF

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Liza - I'm not going to quote but thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that - it really does help!

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

Posted by Diana1215

Liza - I'm not going to quote but thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that - it really does help!

Re: Why do you think some kids talk early - and some don't

I could have posted this exact same post. My DS is 19 months old. He can say a few words, I havent counted truthfully but he gets his point across very well even without speaking. I was mama for a short time, then became dada unless he is hurt and crying. Then he cries for mama so I know he CAN say it, he chooses not to.

Its frustrating sometimes. I read the same posts, "my kid says 4 words together and is x months" and I wonder why mine doesnt. I wonder if he is behind. He does understand everything we tell him though and does what we say, like if I say throw this in the trash, he does or lets go change your diaper - he goes to his room.

I have been thinking about calling EI for an eval, I just have been putting it off because every day i feel like he is getting closer, just not using his words....

I feel your frustration, I am living it too!!