Why I love you ladies (I really do)

Posted By

Message

Pages: [1] 2

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Why I love you ladies (I really do)

Yesterday I vented because I was worried about a lot of things.

I went on here just to vent and for hugs and words of encouragement.

And then all of these words of advice started being posted.

I realized that the first thing we all do – not just as women – but as moms – is to think – “How can this be fixed?”

And while it annoyed me yesterday, I thought about it and realized how well intentioned it all was, so I thank you.

Unfortunately, as a fellow poster, we only know about maybe 9/10ths of a person’s life. You only know what I post, and of course, your advice may fit what you know about me. It made me think of when I might get judgmental or preachy to someone. I forget how little I know about the person I give advice to.

How would you guys know that DH and I both work odd hours – including evenings and weekends- that leave no time for a second job. How would you guys know that a legal document dictates the hours DH sees his daughters, and what he pays for his daughters – jobs or not. And he wishes it was more time, and more that he can do, and that as a father – and a man - he feels beaten down because of that part of his life that will always feel unfulfilled.

And, none of you, thankfully, know what it is like to only see your child 2-3 times a week. And you will never know what it is like when one of those days gets lost because you are working late.

And how would you know that my father, who I have a difficult relationship with, was trying to reach out to me by offering me this trip. He didn’t have to pay for the 3 of us to go away with him, but it is something he offered to do. And when he called me back in October, I was so happy to have this time with him, and for Cailen to have that time with Grandpa. And for DH and I to have some time with each other. And how would you all know that I gave up a lunch break to stand on a line for a sale because I heard “90% off” for clothes for Cailen, and that I was so disappointed for not being able to get in? And that night, I went through his summer clothes, relieved that I bought a big size for my chubby boy who slimmed out and still fits most of his summer clothes. And that I was able to find 4 dollar shorts at Target.

How would you guys know what I give up on a daily basis when I write mostly happy, upbeat posts about my wonderful life with my family. Because I hate whining, and have been through worse, and know people who have it so much worse off than me. I don’t expect you guys to know this. I don’t WANT you guys to know this, because life is bigger than my problems. You guys don’t know that DH and my mantra every night, as we hug each other – after the kids are gone or asleep is : OK – we got through this day, and we will get through tomorrow!

The world is bigger, and there are better things out there. But once in a while I hit a bump, and I freak for a moment, and I just need a virtual hug from my peeps… I know how wonderful and supportive you all can be. I know we have such diversity in personality, thought, and ability on these boards, and I love it and celebrate it, even if I don’t always find it helpful or useful. Because I know it comes from the best of places, and it may be helpful and useful for someone else out there.

So, for that, I love our little community, and think you all rock in your own, special way!

Group hug, everyone - Gather round, Group Hug!!!
Chat Icon

Posted 3/19/09 10:42 AM