Working Mom/Parent Question

I have been a SAHM for awhile and had hoped to re-enter my old field, in a job fairly close to our home on LI. But budgets have been slashed badly over the last year, and next budget year is not looking any better. So I think I may need to look into a different career altogether, which is too bad, but I could live with a change. Most jobs in the area I would switch to are in NYC however. This is not my ideal at all, I would really like for one of us to be near our house, but it's not working out that way so far.

DH currently works in NYC and he typically leaves the house at 7 gets home at 8, sometimes 9. Many days DS does not see him at all. We were both originally pro daycare, but even if we can secure a spot for DS, I am thinking this is not realistic at all if we both work long days in the city. DH insists we can do it and doesn't want to think about a nanny.

Are there parents who both commute who successfully do this? I should add, we do not have family nearby who can step in and pick up DS in a pinch.

I have to say, I am really worried about us both working in the city. I feel as if DS will never see us (except weekends) and a lot is going to slide.

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

I will be honest and say that we won't consider this. it is another in the litany of reasons we don't live up at our house. I cannot have Luce so far away from both of us.

either I would find a job closer to the house (hard to do) OR (and more likely) we would enroll Luce in a school/daycare nearer to our job, so in the city.

not sure if that is something you could consider/do.

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

DH and I both work in Manhattan and commute on the LIRR. We leave together in the morrning and come home at diff. hours in the evening though we are both usually home by 7. My parents watch our DS though so that makes all the difference.

If you could afford a nanny, that's what I'd pick. I think it depends on the daycare and their extended hours and the cost. Having DC at home with a nanny would probably make things easier.

WHy doesn't he want a nanny?

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

We both preferred daycare for the socialization it would offer DS (especially good now that he's 2). DH is concerned the nanny will not interact with DS as much as I do--possible she won't, but it's possible she would also.

I would consider a daycare close to work if I had a long commute on LI and could drive, but driving into the city and I do not make a good fit! DH hates driving into the city also, and I've heard daycares in Manhattan are pretty heavily booked. I guess there is the LIRR..don't think I've ever seen toddlers on the rush hour trains, but why not?

I really don't want to commute to the city, but my options out here seem to have dried up, at least for the next year or so.

Or, we could move to the city. Honestly, this almost seems like the easiest option of all!

Message edited 2/12/2010 6:17:26 PM.

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

The socialization part is definitely important but maybe he could have playdates. Commuting adds so much time to the work day. I really think I'd feel so much better about working if I was here on LI and had a shorter, drivable commute. You also have to consider the expense of the LIRR. For us, our commuting costs I think are about $650 combined. It's a tough decision, you'll figure it out though.

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

We both commuted for awhile. When DD was around a year old I got a job on LI.

We knew that we wanted a daycare situation and not a nanny. If we lived in NYC or the boroughs I would have gotten one, but I didn't want on LI. We chose a daycare within walking distance of the LIRR and it was a huge timesaver.

DH leaves the house at 5:45am and, I used to leave at 6:45am and drop off DD and one of us would pick her up at 6:30pm.

It was very tiring, but once you got into the grove of things it wasn't that bad.

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

Re: Working Mom/Parent Question

We do it. Both commuting into the city. I drop off; he picks up.

He works generally 7am-3pm. I'm more like 9:30-4:40pm (but work on the train). Beforecare & aftercare programs were how we did it. When he gets overtime or someone gets sick, either my mom gets them or I get on the next train home (1.5 hours away).

I would suggest a daycare/nursery school near your house. I found a lot of friends were made early on - among the kids & parents.

Message edited 2/12/2010 9:49:59 PM.