Working mommy guilt

Yet another interesting CNN article:

CNN article

I know for myself guilt rules my life, not just with Alex, but with everything.

It doesn't help when I get flyers from her daycare inviting parents to daytime events - like 'carnival' this week at 10:30am on a Wednesday. Why would they organize an event during the morning when most of the parents have their children at daycare because they are working at that very time? It only serves to pit the working mommies against the part-time and SAHM mommies even further. I *know* I'll get a few comments when I don't make an appearance <---- See that? It's a perfect illustration of working mommy GUILT

Re: Working mommy guilt

I'm with you. I had to miss EVERY event during DD's kindergarten school year. Every single one, because I was pregnant and taking loads of time off for dr. appointments. I just couldn't take off for 2-3 appts. a month AND all the little activities. It really crushed me to not go. DH was able to, his job is more flexible than mine was.

I return from 9 weeks of maternity leave Wednesday...and it's killing me. I'll only get the crankky hours with DS and miss the times he's having fun. I already plan to get up an hour earlier than normal so I can shower and be ready for work and then play with him in the morning. Hopefully since I have a new position when I return, there will be some leniency and I can take a couple hours for little activities.

Re: Working mommy guilt

hmmmm. Maybe I am having a good couple of months and this will change....but I don't have overwhelming guilt anymore(right now)

Do I feel stressed and sometimes pressured to get it all done (my family drama and DH's family drama does not help) absolutely. But I had all of those feelings BEFORE Bella.

But I KNOW what I am doing (working) is best for me, for us (DH and I), for our lifestyle, and for Bella. I lucked out with a child that waves, blows kisses, and runs back for a hug before jumping in with her daycare friends...

I didn't make it home in time to see Bella off to bed once last week and I was OK with it...it was something I had to do...I went in late the next day, tried to come home earlier on Friday.
I try to balance. A few months ago, I cried every night I "missed" her...felt terrible, awful...all that. Like I said, I may feel the guilt circle back around in a bit. But I can thank my DH for picking up slack, for supporting my choices since we were dating (and knowing I wouldn't change my mind), and for a daughter who fits into our lives like a puzzle piece.

ETA: I also have flexibility with my job to spend extra time when I need it...and a daycare that hasn't yet made me feel like I am missing out. I think they do a halloween parade though, I took off last year so we could go to my sister's school and they were bummed Bella wasn't gonna be there...

Message edited 7/30/2007 1:00:56 PM.

Re: Working mommy guilt

Good article. I try not to feel the guilt, and I am usually successful, but I think I also cut back on other things (like cleaning, doing work at home) to spend more time with her.

I agree about the day care not helping though, luckily their picnics, etc have been in the evening but they always push us to come and read to the kids sometimes- of course story time is like 10am! What do they expect?!!! Then the guilt, oh so-and-so's mommy came to read for the kids again today (they write it on the sheet that goes home with them).

Re: Working mommy guilt

That's odd that they would schedule events at that time. All of the events at DD's daycare are from 8 am-9:30 am or from 4 pm-6pm. I really appreciate this- one or both of us can always attend. You may want to mention your concerns to the director.

Re: Working mommy guilt

I am so surprised that a day care would schedule events during the day. Ummm... isn't that why they have day care- so the parents can work? I would definately address that with the director. Its hard enough without feeling the like the "bad" mommy for not attending.

My DD will be attending a small in home day care starting in three weeks. I certainly hope we don't have events that make me feel even more like I am missing out

Re: Working mommy guilt

I used to work in a daycare and we would schedule all parent "activities" from 4:00 on.