Re: Working moms - guilt?

I personally hate it, and DD is in excellent Daycare... I know her teachers adore her and she's okay. She's too young yet to know the difference, but still seeing those big brown eyes watch me walk out the door tears at my heart strings... she's all I think about all day (and I don't have a long day yet I still feel this way). I feel more mad that I can't be home with her... mad at myself, mad at DH, mad at my parent's, mad at college advisors who just said "just take out another student loan", and mad at anything else that may contribute to why I have to work. I may not be saying this in a way that makes sense, but I just tend to feel "angry" during the day. I can just stare at her picture on my computer all day long.

Re: Working moms - guilt?

I don't feel guilty, working is something that I enjoy, and my son is in a great daycare situation, he has a good time and that makes me very happy!

Its a win-win situation!

Re: Working moms - guilt?

I feel like my entire life is one gigantic pile of guilt. It is with me in the pit of my stomach as soon as I wake up. My son has been in daycare almost a year (since he was 9 months old) and he still cries every morning when we drop him off - actually, he cries as soon as we leave the house to get in the car, since he knows where we are going. Every morning he clings to my leg when I drop him off, and I have to pry him off. Then I watch from the window and see him standing there with his head down sulking. This does not help my guilt. He is there 9-10 hours/day and I only get 2 hours max with him every day, which just kills me that I am missing out on so much. We just pulled him out of his current daycare to try a new one, hoping maybe it will make a difference, but I am not too optimistic. Bottom line, it is VERY HARD!

Re: Working moms - guilt?

To be honest, when I first went back to work at the end of last September, it was difficult but I was able to adjust to him being in daycare pretty quickly. I was very surprised at that.

I'm very fortunate because I work in a job where I can be in the office 5 hrs, pick him up and spend some time in the afternoon/evening with DS and then work a bit more when he goes to sleep. However, as he's getting older, I'm finding that it's more important for me to be with him now when he is learning so much and growing up so quickly. He is thriving in daycare and I know he likes it there. I've had a lot of thinking to do with regards to how I can change my work schedule more to have him still get the social interraction he needs but still spend this crucial time with at least one of his parents.

DH's job does not have the flexibility that mine does and he is who we rely on for benefits and most of the financial needs of our household.

It's a hard decision either way.

Re: Working moms - guilt?

I dont feel guilty for leaving him. He with my ILs while I work and he probably gets more attention there than at home

But as he has started to grow I have felt bad for missing things he is doing. I also didnt like the ratio of time my ILs got with him vs me, although I will say he always wants me more than anyone else! As far as sleeping, when on leave I purposely started DS with a 9pm bedtime so DH and I could see him for a bit and then have some time to ourselves.

But DH and I decided I would quit my job (which really was for me a harder decision than deciding to have a baby - I loved my job) and now I work PT. I really feel I have the best of both worlds. i spend 4 days with DS and then I work 3 days. I was off the last 12 days for vacation and honestly I was looking forward to going back. As much as I would like the option to SAH I dont think its me.....

In the end I think we as mothers put too much pressure on ourselves. We do the best we can and we are raising happy, healthy children...we really couldnt ask for more!