Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I just don't know how some people do it with regards to sleep!

I cannot go on functioning like this. DS is 6 months and teething horribly. He hasn't been going to bed until 9pm most nights. He then wakes up at 2:30am screaming, and again between 4 and 5am and is up for the day!!!

I am up until about 11pm cleaning, making bottles, getting my shower. DH works nights so he isn't home at all for the nighttime routine so that is all me.

In the morning, DH is sleeping so that is all me too. I am getting about 4-5 hours of sleep a night (and it is not even straight through) and I feel like I am not really into work when I am here and I am not into being home when I am there. I know my performance is suffering at work, I can't concentrate at all, and at home all I want to do is sleep, and I find myself counting the minutes until DS falls asleep.

Please someone tell me it gets easier. I am ordering Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child but can you implement those things while teething?

I feel like crawling under my desk and going to sleep.

Message edited 9/10/2009 1:42:25 PM.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I wouldn't recommend doing CIO at 6 months while he is teething...what time does he nap? Maybe adjusting/reducing his naps would help...

ETA: And the teething pain will soon subside so hang in there!

Message edited 9/10/2009 1:49:31 PM.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I know exactly how you feel!

It's so hard. It's a lot of juggling, a lot of feeling like you're split in a million different directions every day and a lot of guilt too.

I definitely think your ds is overtired and not getting enough sleep at night. By that age, my ds was going to bed at 6:30pm and sleeping until 6:30pm (with a few wakings).

Let me ask you this, how do you know it's teething? I ask because i think a lot of people blame teething but that's not actually what's going on. My son was waking 5 times a night for months and finally at 5 1/2 months we did CIO because we couldn't function anymore. He also wasn't napping well either. How is your ds with naps?

Honestly... it gets a little bit easier as they get older. But i've always had my DH to help me with the wakings and the household chores, etc so i can't imagine being in your shoes. Can you get your DH to help more?

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I could have so wriiten your post. I have just started to get some sleep. I actually threw desperation and falling asleep on the LIE on the way to work, to write to a baby sleep consultant. She has be putting Elijah to bed at 7pm vs. the 7:30 he use to go down. Just that half hour difference has done wonders. He's in bed and sleep by 7:15, this frees up some time for me to clean up, cook, eat and get some laundry done. Your son is going to be way too late. I bet if you can get him to sleep even one hour earlier you will see better results.

BTW, my son is 6 months as well and when he was teething I would give motrin and it would last the majority of the night.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Totally not a dig at your husband at all, but is there any way he can help in the morning when he's normally sleeping so you can either a) sleep in a little longer before work, or b) get ready for work peacefully & quickly?

I know he needs to sleep too, but if you're barely sleeping, something's got to give somewhere.

Again, I am TOTALLY not trying to insult your husband.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

My 5.5 month old also wakes up multiple times per night. I think I've just gotten used to getting horrible sleep. I won't lie - it's hard waking up every morning. After 2 cups of coffee, I feel fine. I try to catch up on the weekends. DH will watch DS while I sleep all morning.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I'm with you. DD is 15 months but wakes up numerous times during the night. I think it's seperation anxiety and the only way to get her back to sleep is to either walk her or rock her, and it takes 30-45 minutes each time.

DH works overnights so he is not there to help, and when he tried on a night off, DD didn't want anyone else but me.

My schedule is crazy - get DH out the door at 10pm, clean, make next nights dinner, prepare for the next day, I usually get to sleep by 12:30/1am. DD has been waking up at around 1:30 and usually around 3:30. Then I have to be up by 6:30 to get ready to work a full day.

It's exhausting. I just have to take it one day at a time.

I don't have any advice, but know that you are not alone.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I totally understand. I'm with ya. My DH works nights. DS now at 7.5 mos goes down at 730PM (helps a lot). He still wakes up at around 330-430AM in which I give him a bottle in his crib. Then, at around 630AM he's up. I get him dressed put him in the playard with Noggin on (I leave for work at 645AM) and he stays quiet playing until 730AMish in which DH wakes up and feeds him breakfast. Its not a fun sked, but it works for us.

Honestly, I wish my DS didn't wake up at 330AM, but at least he's going down at 730pmish (it helps a lot). He's never been a strong sleeper.

I do know your frustrations as a working mom who's DH works nights with a baby. Its tough. FM for any advice, vent, etc. There aren't many of us so we need to be there for each other.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

We were there. DS goes to bed now at around 6:30. That gives us time to make the bottles for the next day, get his stuff ready, make dinner, eat, and have plenty of time to relax at night.

Only when he started going to bed earlier would he sleep later. DS still wakes up around 5 ish, and I can get him back to sleep until about 7ish, but it does help with not being so tired.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I had to deal with this for almost 11 months and it wasn't for teething it was for bottles! I feel your pain bc I had a 1 hour commute driving , but the time I got to work I was like a mad zombie. finally he out grew it and I feel like a new person

Just be happy if it's his teething it will subside in a few days. Motrin works wonders for the babies, you can give it with his last bottle for the night.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by aliwnec10

I definitely think your ds is overtired and not getting enough sleep at night. By that age, my ds was going to bed at 6:30pm and sleeping until 6:30pm (with a few wakings).

Let me ask you this, how do you know it's teething? I ask because i think a lot of people blame teething but that's not actually what's going on. My son was waking 5 times a night for months and finally at 5 1/2 months we did CIO because we couldn't function anymore. He also wasn't napping well either. How is your ds with naps?

Honestly... it gets a little bit easier as they get older. But i've always had my DH to help me with the wakings and the household chores, etc so i can't imagine being in your shoes. Can you get your DH to help more?

Well, he broke his 2 bottom teeth last week, so I am assuming there are more coming in. He is also banging his mouth against my shoulder and against the crib I was giving him Motrin almost every night when the teeth were breaking through, and I don't know how much is too much?! Like how many weeks of being on Motrin would be considered too much?

I do agree that he should be going to bed earlier... but he typically wakes up if we put him in any earlier!

DH has him all afternoon and all day on Mondays, so he does do a lot. We do this so we only have to pay our nanny for 1/2 days.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Posted by LeShellem

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by aliwnec10

I definitely think your ds is overtired and not getting enough sleep at night. By that age, my ds was going to bed at 6:30pm and sleeping until 6:30pm (with a few wakings).

Let me ask you this, how do you know it's teething? I ask because i think a lot of people blame teething but that's not actually what's going on. My son was waking 5 times a night for months and finally at 5 1/2 months we did CIO because we couldn't function anymore. He also wasn't napping well either. How is your ds with naps?

Honestly... it gets a little bit easier as they get older. But i've always had my DH to help me with the wakings and the household chores, etc so i can't imagine being in your shoes. Can you get your DH to help more?

Well, he broke his 2 bottom teeth last week, so I am assuming there are more coming in. He is also banging his mouth against my shoulder and against the crib I was giving him Motrin almost every night when the teeth were breaking through, and I don't know how much is too much?! Like how many weeks of being on Motrin would be considered too much?

I do agree that he should be going to bed earlier... but he typically wakes up if we put him in any earlier!

DH has him all afternoon and all day on Mondays, so he does do a lot. We do this so we only have to pay our nanny for 1/2 days.

How is his naps. Is DS taking enough naps during the day. If you DH has him in the afternoon, does he make sure he gets at least one good nap in? I would try to work on getting you DS a nap in the afternoon and put him down as early as you can. I promise you, you will see a difference in him sleeping through the night. DS would wake up 3 to 4 times every night. As of last Saturday, he has been waking up twice and two nights ago, just one time. It's a huge difference as I now have a good four hour block of sleep and then another 2 to 3 hour block. I am sure I am only a few weeks away from him just waking once more often then not.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I would definately try CIO or Ferber. You need your sleep and so does your baby. I let my babies wake me until they hit 6 months and then I start a modified ferber. It works quickly, generally within the week and for me within several days. But do not just leave the baby. Set up appropriate routines and schedules. If your baby is over tired, he will have difficulty sleeping so don't let that happen.

Is dh doing any of the preparation or cleaning? Definately get dh involved witht he household chores. You are right it is too much for you.

Good luck!

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Posted by Lucky09

I agree that us ladies with DH who work nights all need to be there for each other as well!

Last night I put DS down a little earlier - at 7:30pm and he woke up at 12:30am for a bottle and then slept until 5:45am.

So I think you were all right - he needed to go to bed earlier. This weekend I am going to work on his naps.

Thank you again!!!

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

I can totally relate. My dh works nights for 2-3 nights out of the week. He is very helpful when he's home but it's hard when he's not. I had no choice but to take this year off b/c there was no way I was going to be able to go back to teaching with both boys not sleeping through the night. My boys will be 7 mon. on Sunday. I am trying so hard to do CIO at night and modified during the day for naps. It is hard. Thank god they don't wake each other up but sometimes one finally falls asleep and then the other wakes up. It is never ending and when I am home alone at night I am really ready to lose it!! I always think it's teething also.

Re: Working Moms - need some support re: sleep

Oh yeah, we've all been there. 2 months after I returned to work, the senior partner at my firm came into my office, and closed the door and basically asked me what was going on because my work had been "uncharacteristically sloppy" - I was devastated Obviously what was going on was a collicky baby that rarely slept.

That night I came home, cried to DH, and we decided enough was enough and we started CIO