Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I am debating whether or not to go back to work. I have an incredible career and was recently promoted to a Director position before DS was born. My company is allowing me to go back part time for the first year. BUT...now that DS is born..I fell madly in love, more so than I ever imagined possible. DH makes enough to get us by...but that's about it. Somehow that seems more doable than leaving my son, even for 3 days. I know it's a personal decision, but I'd love to hear the pros and cons for each side. Thanks ladies.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

For me personally, I think your part time position offer is a perfect meet in the middle option. Sounds like you enjoy your career and being able to be a part time sahm and a part time working mom is the perfect situation for me.

After having a great career, staying home takes quite an adjustment and although you will miss your baby while you are gone, you get to know that you only do it part time, so time spend with your son will still be plentiful. Then you will have some extra money to go out and do fun things the days you are home.


My vote is part time career, part time SAHM. Its ideal for many.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I worked P/T for 10 months. For me it was the best of both worlds. I got to interact with adults on a regular basis, and still see DD accomplish her milestones (sit, crawl, pull up, stand, walk). I wish we could have afforded for me to stay P/T. Now instead of that I take one day off per week over the summer to spend with her.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Oh boy.... this has the potential to get ugly.

Ok, I am a SAHM, and I love it. Honestly though, I always knew that once I had children I wanted to be home with them full time. Its something DH and I discussed long before we even got married. I have a masters degree, I had a career, but I knew that I was going to give it up once I had a baby. No regrets here whatsoever. We live frugally and enjoy a fairly "simple" life.

Asking for pros and cons, well, each person you ask is going to tell you a million reasons why they do what they do.

Its honestly a personal decision and you have to decide whats best for YOUR family, and YOUR situation.

I can only give you pros and cons to staying home. I cannot give you pros and cons for going back to work full or part time, because I am not in that situation, not to mention, something that is a "pro" for one person, may be a "con" for someone else KWIM?

Either way, YOU have to decide what is going to be best for YOU and YOUR family.
Good luck!

congrats on your baby!

Message edited 1/14/2010 2:00:09 PM.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I love my job, love working out of the home

I also cover the benefits for my family...I went back to work after 14 weeks with both of my kids

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

its a personal choice. Financially I need to work, but I really love working. I love my son and do cherish the time I'm with him too.

I think PT is the perfect middle.

Message edited 1/14/2010 1:57:35 PM.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

If I could find a part time position and not have to pay child care, or just pay for those days I would. I was a working mom and just lost my job. So now I have experienced both. NEITHER is easy. I wish I could find that type of schedule for myself. Enough time to spend with DD, but also enough time to have my adult life as well.

When they are tiny, it's harder to leave them.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I can't even answer because I am too tired but I think that being both a SAHM and a working mom would both be very rewarding.

Only you can decide what works best for your family and your situation.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

As a sahm...I live with zero regrets. In my family, with my husband, this was the route to go.

We are quality of life people. I have time with my baby all day and my nights are clear for my husband.

We eat healthy meals that I cook, I have plenty of time to clean in downtime and run errands.

I am excited to participate in child's school and activities full time one day.

cons:
i have found that you must be married to the right guy. There honestly is no his money/my lack of it. He makes me feel important in my job at home.

end result: I picked the easy road. I don't juggle. We also don't have the savings that we may have if i worked, but honestly, we might just be in a bigger home with nicer cars...so who knows. I don't juggle. I have zero guilt. I hang out at parks and pools. We believe in this method.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Having done both, here are my top things:

Pros of going back to work - you are able to have a moment to yourself during the day - have a cup of coffee - use the bathroom - have an adult conversation - have the motivation to get up and shower and get dressed every day - and of course the paycheck!

Cons of going back to work - child care arrangements and expenses - missing your kids during the day - the massive guilt

Pros of staying home - well obviously you get to be there for your child's every milestone and no work stress and you have no boss and nobody dictating your schedule (except your kids)

Cons of staying home - it can at times be boring, stressful, monotonous, frustrating, tiring and overwhelming...and depending on your career, it may be tough to get your career back on track if you plan on going back to work when the kids go to school

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I am a working mom. Not by choice, by necessity. I spend about 2 hours with my child ach day. I would do ANYTHING to be able to stay home. In my eyes, I am going to be missing out on most of my baby's childhood because I have to work. I spend 2 hours awith him and my baby sitter is with him from 7:15 to 4:15 pm, so who's getting more time? No matter how "quality" those 2 hours I spend with him are, they're stil not the 9 hours she's with him. It's so not fair and I am sooo angry over it sometimes.
Of course many working moms will disagree with me. But to me theres no comparrison. They only grow up ONCE. I'll never get these years back. I can always go back to work once he goes to school You know what I mean?

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

For us too, it was a matter of the COST of child care. My salary would have barely covered the costs involved with going back to work (child care, gas, wardrobe, lunches, etc etc).

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I'm struggling...

When I was home on maternity leave, I was going crazy being home all day with the baby. As it got closer for me to go back to work, I didn't want to leave DD and wanted to be home with her.

I went back FT and HATED it immediately, I hated being away from her all day, hated only having an hour with her at night, hated that the hour with her at night was misery because she was SO overtired from her day at daycare and cranky and fussy.

After a week of being back FT, I asked to go PT. I am working 3 days a week, DD goes to daycare 2 days a week and my MIL watches her 1 day. I HATE IT! I feel like I'm always stressed at work because I have to do 5 days worth of work in 3 days. I feel I have to constantly PROVE myself here because I am only working 3 days. I hate being away from DD all day, but there are days when I'm home with her all day, I think to myself.... no way in HE!! I can be a SAHM. I'm beyond exhausted all the time.

I thought working PT would give me the best of both worlds, but for me, it doesn't. I'm very conflicted.

I do know that when we have a 2nd, I will not be going back to work as financially for us it does not make any sense.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Let's see- I have done both since I took extended maternity leave with both kids.

I think your situation sounds perfect. If I could work part time, I would in a heart beat.

Pros of staying home:
Getting to see you baby all the time
no juggling- trying to get to work, drop off for child care, getting home at a certain time, cooking, cleaning on those days etc.
No set schedule- you create the days
ability to form relationships with other moms(I miss this the most)
Getting to do lots of activities with your child

Pros of working:
little or no money concerns(sounds like that would be in your case)
adult interaction
feeling productive and involved with something other than your family
a little more free time in your day(lunch breaks, etc)

I see part time as the best of both worlds- you have the income, you get to expand your mind a bit, but you get to be with your child too. I would go for it!

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I work full-time but two of those days are from home, so sometimes I feel like i do work part- time. for ME, that is the best of both worlds. I knew that I didn't want to be a SAHM, but also didn't want to go into work everyday, 5 days a week and only really see my child on weekends. So for me, it works for do my "'part-time" arrangement.

However, a negative is that i never feel like I give 100% to my job, or my child, and I am pulled in alot of different directions. if I was a sahm, then maybe I could give 100% (or at least come closer) to DD, more than I do now.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I am a SAHM who has multiple degrees, and a few careers behind me.

I have to say I think ideally working part time would be great b/c right now as a SAHM, I am going out of my mind.

But I wont use daycare, and dont have anyone else, so being a SAHM is the best thing for us. But personally my well being is definitely taking a hit....its exhausting, boring and lonely. I literally just feel like a slave some days.

I think working PT, if you have somewhere safe and reliable to put your child, is best.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each

I work PT one day or overnight a week plus I am able to pick up extra time if it's available. For me, it's perfect. Actually I would probably take a FT job if one was open because for me it would be 3- 12 hour shifts. I am not cut out to be a FT SAHM. I need the adult interaction and the ability to keep my mind sharp at work. If I were you I would definitely keep the 3 day a week position for a while longer to see how you feel.

Re: Working or SAH Mom? Pros and Cons of Each