Worried about the baby.......

Since my mom died last week I havent been happy as I usually was before my Mom passed. Here's my ?

Is the baby sad since Im sad? I feel bad Im doing this to him

Should I speak with my OB about going on some sort of an anti-depressant?

I just dont want to be sad when this baby comes, he deserves a Mommy that will be happy he's here. All I keep thinking is that when they hand that baby to me all I will be thinking about is my Mom.

Re: Worried about the baby.......

It is natural to grieve. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself nutrition wise.

Re: Worried about the baby.......

Tracy I still wrestle with those same feelings. I feel angry that I will not be able to see the pride and joy of my parents when I show them my child and say "Look what I did!!!" I just told DH how jealous I was of him that HE will have that moment and I won't. Yeah, maybe it sounds immature but its a very raw and real feeling.

The ultimate gift a child can give their parents is to have things come full circle and become a good and loving parent themselves. Use what she taught you and you will have fulfilled her expectations. We are both blessed in that our mothers KNEW we were having children. We KNEW how they felt about the idea of become grandmothers. Unfortunately for us, our gifts will be given posthumously. We have to raise our children in their spirits and think what they would do with each and every milestone our kids achieve. The tears will turn from tears of sadness into tears of joy. Rely upon your family for the memories.

Your baby will not be sad. You will rise as a mother into a self-less caregiver because you simply have no choice. I will suggest this to you though. If you are at all prone to depression and are not sure how you will cope after the birth, please go see someone so you can be treated. It is yet another gift you will give yourself and your baby. I am still throwing the idea around as well.

As always, I am sorry that we have this common experience to share, but know I am always here for you!

Re: Worried about the baby.......

Posted by Goldi0218

Tracy I still wrestle with those same feelings. I feel angry that I will not be able to see the pride and joy of my parents when I show them my child and say "Look what I did!!!" I just told DH how jealous I was of him that HE will have that moment and I won't. Yeah, maybe it sounds immature but its a very raw and real feeling.

The ultimate gift a child can give their parents is to have things come full circle and become a good and loving parent themselves. Use what she taught you and you will have fulfilled her expectations. We are both blessed in that our mothers KNEW we were having children. We KNEW how they felt about the idea of become grandmothers. Unfortunately for us, our gifts will be given posthumously. We have to raise our children in their spirits and think what they would do with each and every milestone our kids achieve. The tears will turn from tears of sadness into tears of joy. Rely upon your family for the memories.

Your baby will not be sad. You will rise as a mother into a self-less caregiver because you simply have no choice. I will suggest this to you though. If you are at all prone to depression and are not sure how you will cope after the birth, please go see someone so you can be treated. It is yet another gift you will give yourself and your baby. I am still throwing the idea around as well.

As always, I am sorry that we have this common experience to share, but know I am always here for you!

Re: Worried about the baby.......

I totallly agree with Leslie....

My dad passed over 20 years ago... he never met my husband, he will never know he is a grandpa It's super super sad.

The baby only knows his situation. he sees parents who will do anything for him and feels loved. Unfortunately, many moms endure hardship and stress while pregnant, and the babies end up being fine.... so try not to stress....

I bet you can't take antidepressants while pregnant, but you most certainly could post-partum. You might want to seek out therapy to get you over this rough patch and provide extra support. Never forget that it's totally normal and healthy to grieve

Re: Worried about the baby.......

I am so sorry you have to go through this.

I do think stress affects the baby. I would talk to your OB about everything that is going on

Re: Worried about the baby.......

Me and my DH also have these same feelings. My MIL passed away just a few weeks before our wedding and I know DH is really in pain that his Mom will never meet her grandchild. My own Mom is going through some health problems right now that are being complicated by her MS and it is really frightening for me. Additionally, I have been under tremendous personal stress in the past few weeks and one night I was so upset and the baby was moving around like crazy. I got so scared that I had upset him/her. We'll never know what our babies are privy to inside of our wombs and we can't help but feel what we feel at times. I think as long as you are taking care of yourself, eating well and trying to take it easy, you are doing a good job. As far as the antidepressants go, I personally can not wait to go back on Lexapro after I give birth. I was thisclose to asking my dr. about going back on a low dose during pregnancy, but then I read they are a class c drug and I decided against it. Believe me though, I am running to the pharmacy (well, maybe not running, but definitely sending DH) the moment I get home from giving birth and starting up on them again. You can always talk yo a dr. or counselor to get a different perspective on things too. I'll be thinking about you...

Re: Worried about the baby.......

I don't think that he is sad but I do think that he can sense the stress that this has caused you because your body reacts to the stress...and in turn...that affects him but so long as you are doing your best to care for him he'll be fine.

You have to go on your instincts - you know best. If you can wait to take medication that would be better for the baby but if you need it and feel it would be best to start something now then you absolutely should speak with a doctor about options. Either way I think you should speak with your doctor...get all the information that you would need so that once your little man is here you can take the necessary steps to help yourself out.

When they hand him to you - you will absolutely be thinking of your mom and in doing so you'll keep her memory alive...so please don't push that feeling back...embrace it so that your son gets to feel all that love. She'll be there with you.

I'm serious when I say that I can get to you in a heartbeat if you say the word!