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stephaniea
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1280 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
My husband really doesn't care, but he does make comments. He always says "Why should I not get the same, Why should I be punished because of the right choices I made, we all had the same opportunities to make those choices they just didn't" I agree with my husband on this. Its not our fault that his siblings make poor choices. Im sorry but why should my mil pay for my sil's child to go to preschool, but my sil takes a loan to go on a trip. We would never do that and we pay for all our own stuff. My daughter went to sleep away camp this year, I would have loved for my mil to pay for it.
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Posted 11/4/07 10:07 PM  |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
Posted by stephaniea
My husband really doesn't care, but he does make comments. He always says "Why should I not get the same, Why should I be punished because of the right choices I made, we all had the same opportunities to make those choices they just didn't" I agree with my husband on this. Its not our fault that his siblings make poor choices. Im sorry but why should my mil pay for my sil's child to go to preschool, but my sil takes a loan to go on a trip. We would never do that and we pay for all our own stuff. My daughter went to sleep away camp this year, I would have loved for my mil to pay for it.
I don't look at it this way at all. DH and I don't need anything...Could we have bigger, better things? Sure, but so long as we provide for ourselves I am just so thankful that I am not a drain on anyone, and thankful that I can give back to my parents in some way to thank them for what they provided for me growing up. I'm the type of person who hides money to pay my mom back for small things she buys me, because I know she would not accept it. We all have the black sheep in the family that needs more money, time, etc...From your story I just feel awful for your SIL for not knowing right from wrong, and for making money decisions that are going to hurt her in the long run. I would be so disappointed in my child if he or she was grown and married and complained that I was not giving them enough money.
We don't know their reasons, and to me it really doesn't matter. It's their money. I agree with other people that generally in life I think parents help out as needed, and that changes. I know my parents paid more for my brother's college & schooling, but it's not like I was whining to buy me a car with the additional money--I was just thankful that I had some help with tuition and didn't have to do the whole thing on loans.
Message edited 11/4/2007 10:24:41 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/07 10:18 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
I wouldn't be upset if they gave more to their daughter than their son. Many parents don't feel obligated to contribute as much if anything at all to a son's wedding, since tradition states the bride's family pays. That's just the way it is.
For my wedding I didn't expect my in-laws to contribute as much as my parents did.
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| Posted 11/4/07 11:00 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
I'd me livid for my DH but I wouldn't say anything...that would be up to him.
I don't have to worry about that though because my IL's are cheap with all their kids equally
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| Posted 11/4/07 11:28 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
Why/how do you know how much your ILs are giving them?
Does it sux - i guess, but what does being mad get? What do you expect in the end? Don't waste the time and energy being upset about something you have no control over.
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| Posted 11/5/07 12:31 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
My MIL has always given both of my SIL's more than what she has given us. Prime example was a big chunk of $$ for both of her girls to use as a down payment towards their homes. We got a plant  after we moved into our home. She also gave us a very small wedding gift and paid for both of her girls weddings. I grew up in a home where my brother and I were treated equal. Whatever my parents did for him, they did for me and vice versa. Would I be upset???....Yes I've been there and I was. But the anger gets you nowhere. I look around my home now and know that whatever DH and I have we earned ourselves 
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| Posted 11/5/07 7:52 AM |
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stephaniea
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1280 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
This is not something that causes any rift and isn't really a topic of conversation all the time but it bothers me. I feel like my husband never gets any credit from them and everything is poor so and so. It gets tiring after awhile. I am extremely fortunate to be able to stay home and have the lifestyle I do, but those were our good choices. I also feel because its not MY sister I get pizzed. My mother always says "Well if it was your sister would you be as angry". Probably not. Who knows. Was just joining in on the topic.
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| Posted 11/5/07 8:19 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Would you be mad if your IL's gave DH's sibling $10000 or more....???
Posted by stephaniea
My husband really doesn't care, but he does make comments. He always says "Why should I not get the same, Why should I be punished because of the right choices I made, we all had the same opportunities to make those choices they just didn't" I agree with my husband on this. Its not our fault that his siblings make poor choices. Im sorry but why should my mil pay for my sil's child to go to preschool, but my sil takes a loan to go on a trip. We would never do that and we pay for all our own stuff. My daughter went to sleep away camp this year, I would have loved for my mil to pay for it.
Punished? Seriously? He thinks not getting a GIFT (read: something he's not entitled to) of someone else's money is PUNISHMENT?
That shows quite a sense of entitlement to me. It's not his money. He should be thankful for what he DOES have and not worry so much about what other people give or receive as gifts.
I hope this is something that runs deeper than money -- sad if it is, yes, but even sadder if it's truly only about the money.
Whenever these "I didn't get enough" threads come up, I always feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone. Last time I checked, no one had to give you anything -- and it shouldn't be your business what your parents and ILs are giving to other people.
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| Posted 11/5/07 8:28 AM |
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